Edeet Ravel - Look for Me

“Poor Benny!”

“He’l survive.”

“I didn’t only refuse to marry him, I also refused to have sex with him.”

“Now I’m real y shocked.”

“Wel , it hurt his feelings.”

“Hurt his bal s, more like.”

“Hurt his bal s, more like.”

“He has sex with Miriam al the time. She sneaks in here almost every second day.”

“Dana, how could you refuse such a tempting of er?”

“Don’t make fun of him, he’s okay.”

“Can’t you tel how jealous I am?”

“Jealous of Benny!”

“Yes, I always wanted hairy arms.”

“You’re so mean.”

“True.”

“Do your after-school kids real y like that game?”

“Yes, it makes them laugh, they have hysterics. They like to think of scarier and scarier things, they go wild. It’s a good outlet for them.”

A knock on the door startled us. “Expecting anyone?” Rafi asked.

“Could be Alex, he sometimes comes on Fridays. Or even Benny! Let’s not answer.”

“Fine with me.”

There were a few more knocks and then the person went away. We had forgot en al about the visitor, but later, when Ra opened the door to leave, we found a note pinned to the door. It read: I have Daniel’s address. Come to the hotel tomorrow. Coby.

SUNDAY

IT SEEMED TO ME THAT I DIDN’T SLEEP al night, though I think I dreamed that I was awake. I know at one point I had a hal ucinatory dream: Coby came into the room and told me that Daniel was living in a lighthouse on a rock island in the middle of the sea, and that was why no one could find him.

At ve in the morning I went into the hotel and sat on the sofa in the lobby, facing the reception desk. There was no one in the lobby apart from Hussein and the desk clerk. The clerk asked if he could help. “I’m waiting for Coby—it’s urgent,” I said. He shrugged; working in a hotel must have inured him to strange behavior.

I was lucky; Coby was early that morning. At seven o’clock he walked in.

“I’l be with you in a sec,” he said, and disappeared into a back of ice.

I waited another ten minutes, and final y he emerged. I was so disoriented that for a second I wondered how he could look so composed in his perfectly pressed suit when I was such a wreck. He led the way to the dining room and poured cof ee for both of us.

“You look pale.”

“Coby, I haven’t slept al night, what do you think? I’m so excited I can’t breathe.”

“But it isn’t very good news, Dana.”

“Just tel me!”

“Wel , he lives in the territories, inside the Coastal Strip. He’s in Qal’at al-Maraya.”

“Qal’at al-Maraya!”

“I don’t know how or why, my cousin wouldn’t say more. By the way, my cousin is going to kil us both if anyone nds out he’s the one who got the address.”

“Do you have his address?”

“Yes, I wrote it down for you.” He handed me my napkin, the one on which I’d writ en Daniel’s ID number. Under the number he’d writ en: 7 al-Ma’arri Street, Qal’at al-Maraya.

“Qal’at al-Maraya … I was there so many times! I used to go to the beach to take photos there almost once a week.”

“I have no idea how he managed it—how he got them to trust him. Maybe he’s converted?”

“That’s even more ridiculous than your spy theory. Oh God, I’m so happy, thank you, thank you, thank you!” I got up and hugged him.

“I’m going to see him! I’m going to see Daniel, maybe in only an hour—I’l take a taxi, how do I look? What should I bring? Thank you, thank you, I have to go now.”

I turned to leave but Coby caught my arm. “Dana, hold on. Sit down a minute.”

“I can’t. I can’t wait. Sorry, I have to go. I hope I look al right.”

“Dana, you can’t go, you don’t have a permit, you’re not going to get in. You’re not thinking. Calm down, and come back to the table, we have to figure out what you’re going to do.”

“I’l get in, don’t worry. I’l just beg.”

“Yes, begging real y works at checkpoints. Or with the army in general.”

“They have to let me in.”

“Dana, sit down. Here, take one of these.”

I sat down at the table because people were looking at us. He pul ed a bot le of large green pil s out of his pocket.

“What are these?”

“My father’s tranquilizers. Have one, you’l feel bet er.”

“I don’t want to feel tranquil, Coby!”

“Fine. But you can’t just go to the Coastal Strip. You won’t get in.”

“I’l find a way. I can’t wait. I can’t wait. It seems so unreal, like a dream. What if I wake up?”

“Want me to pinch you?”

“Qal’at al-Maraya … he must have learned Arabic …”

“I guess so.”

“He was always good at languages. He learned Russian so he could talk to his grandmother …Thank you, Coby. Thank you. You can’t imagine how I feel.”

“I’m get ing an idea.”

“I’m going to see Daniel …”

“You need a permit, and it’s very dangerous, I have no idea how you’l manage it. I don’t think they’l give you a permit.”

“Maybe El a can help me.”

“El a?”

“The journalist. She might be able to help me. Maybe I could go down there with her. Everyone knows her there. I think she even has a flat she rents in Qal’at al-Maraya for occasional use.”

“Please be careful.”

“I have such but erflies in my stomach now. Can I borrow your phone, please?”

Coby handed me his mobile phone and I cal ed Ra . I told him that I had Daniel’s address, but that I couldn’t leave right away. “Do you want me to come over?” he asked.

want me to come over?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m al jit ery,” I said.

Then I left a message at Odelia’s, asking her for El a’s phone number.

“I was there, in Qal’at al-Maraya,” I repeated. “And al I had to do was ask someone …”

“I hope I did the right thing,” Coby said.

“I don’t understand why they kept it from me in the first place! So he lives in Qal’at al-Maraya, so what!”

Coby’s eyes narrowed and he raised his eyebrows. He looked at me with a mixture of skepticism and reproach, the way he had when I’d said that Rafi had a good life.

“I can’t believe I know where he is and I have to wait. I don’t know how I’l manage. If only I could just hop in a taxi. People do get in.

People do get in and out.”

“Just don’t try anything stupid, Dana,” he said. “Don’t even think about trying to sneak in. No one wil know who you are, and we have some trigger-happy people in our army.”

“I won’t.”

“Promise. Promise not to try and sneak in.”

“Okay.”

“If our guys don’t shoot you, theirs wil .”

“Okay.”

“Do you know the word for ‘foreigner’?”

“No.”

“Ajnabi. If anything happens, speak English and say you’re a foreigner, and you’re there to support Palestine. Don’t take your ID with you.”

“You think everyone in Palestine is a terrorist!”

“No, of course not, but somehow it only takes one bul et to die, not three mil ion.”

“I won’t go in alone, I’l go with El a. I’m not going to lie to Palestinians about who I am. And everyone knows El a. I can’t believe I’m going to see my husband. I’m going to see him! Maybe in just a day or two, I don’t know how I’l make it through the next few hours. Do I look okay?”

Coby laughed. “Wel , you’re not as pale as you were earlier this morning.”