Jeff Strand - Graverobbers Wanted - No Experience Necessary

"No, I'm Wonder Woman," Rachel told him. "Shall we start your workout?"

"Sure, that sounds great," I said, only so Hercules wouldn't mock me. We followed her back to the weight room. Only a couple of people were using it, a woman in incredible physical shape and a man who really needed to lift a few more weights before he'd be in good enough shape to attract the woman.

"I guess we'll start off with some stretches," said Rachel, leading us to a floor mat. "Everyone take off your shoes."

"This really wasn't supposed to be an exercise session. I just wanted to ask you a few questions about Michael."

"You can ask me questions while we get in a good workout. You need one. Get those shoes off."

Theresa and Kyle excitedly removed their footwear, and Theresa launched into some jumping jacks. I considered mentioning that I wasn't dressed for a workout, but then made the astute observation that she wouldn't care.

"Now, I want everyone to touch your right toe with your left hand." Rachel reached down and touched her right toe with her left hand, as if it were no problem whatsoever. I reached down and did the same thing.

"Don't bend your knees," Rachel said.

I tried to touch my toe without bending my knees and was not entirely successful. But I did better than Kyle, who tumbled forward and hit his face on the mat.

"He's missing a few motor skills," I explained.

"Must take after his father."

I reached down and touched my toe just to spite her. I refused to say anything about the sharp pain in my back.

"Now touch your left toe with your right hand, and alternate to the count of twenty. Andrew, you can ask your questions now."

"When did you last see Michael?"

"Two...three...last Thursday, right before he left forEurope ... six...seven..."

"Was he acting unusual?"

"...eight...nine...no, not unusual in a bad way...twelve...thirteen... he was really excited about his trip...sixteen...seventeen...couldn't stop talking about it...twenty."

"So he seemed genuinely excited?"

"Sure. Wouldn't you be?" Rachel smiled at Theresa and Kyle. "Do you kids want to show me who can do the most push-ups?"

"Me!" shouted Theresa.

"Prove it!"

My children dropped to the floor and began doing push-ups.

Rachel grinned as she watched them go at it. Whoever the killer might be, I was sure it wasn't her. Not that any of the others seemed like killers, either, but for some unexplainable reason I just had a gut feeling that Rachel was innocent.Which was good, because this was a crucial element in my plan. If I was going to make any progress in finding the killer, I had to take this huge risk.

"So what's up with the questions about Mike? You sound like a cop, not a journalist."

"I'm not a journalist," I said. I motioned her to follow me to another part of the room, where my children couldn't hear us. "I take it Carl or Farley didn't get in touch with you last night?"

"No, I kept the phone off the hook. I don't like being bothered when I'm reading. So are you a cop?"

"No."

"A detective?"

"Rachel, I need to tell you something very important, but I need your promise that you won't share it with anyone, no matter what."

"I'd like to make that promise, but anyone puts some red-hot spikes under my toenails and I'm blabbing."

Since that wasn't entirely out of the realm of possibility, I let it go. "It's about somebody in Ghoulish Delights. At least I'm pretty sure it is. And I don't know who else I can trust."

"You don't know who else you can trust? Look, Andy, if you're trying out for an acting role in our movies, at least get some better dialogue first."

"This isn't an audition. And don't call me Andy."

"Sorry."

"Would you like some more clichéd dialogue? How about this: Innocent lives depend on you helping me. And innocent lives are at risk if you repeat any of what I'm about to tell you."

"Whose lives?"Rachel asked.

"I don't know their names. Five people locked away somewhere, kidnapped by someone you work with."

Rachel stared at me for a moment,then looked over at Theresa and Kyle. "Hey, there are jump ropes in the corner if you want!"

"Hooray!" shouted Theresa, as she raced her brother to the corner and won.

"All right, Andrew, you've got me interested enough to give my promise. What's the story?"

"Michael and Jennifer Ashcraft are dead. Michael was buried alive, and Jennifer was stabbed to death then chopped into pieces that were hidden in my best friend's automobile."

"What?" asked Rachel withdisbelief.

"I'msorry, I should have eased into that. But I'm completely serious. They're dead, and the killer has me involved in some kind of sick game."

"What do youmean, some kind of sick game?"

I described my adventures in complete gory detail. The color drained from her face as I spoke, and by the time I'd finished she looked positively ill. "I'm sorry, I need a drink of water," she said. "I'll be right back."

I didn't really want to let her out of my sight, but it wasn't like I could prevent her from going anywhere. I desperately hoped that telling her had been the right thing to do, but to find out what was going on I absolutely had to get some sort of inside information. She left the weight room, and I went over to make sure my kids were playing nicely.

Rachel returned a couple of minutes later, not looking much better. She sat down on one of the weight machines, and I joined her.

"So you're sure it's someone at Ghoulish Delights?" she asked.

"Pretty sure."

"Any idea who?"

I shook my head. "That's why I need you. Do you know them all pretty well?"

"Sure. I mean, I don't consider them a second family or anything, but we know each other fairly well. At least I thought we did. I certainly didn't think any of them could be a murderer, especially not as sadistic as the way you described."

"We need to be careful, because I don't know what kind of resources the killer has," I said.

"I'm sure he hasn't had a chance to put a bug on me or anything since my last complete change of clothes, but there's a good chance that more people are helping him, and they could be watching."

"You think it's a he?"

"No, it's just too hard to carry on a conversation and worry about being gender neutral. Anyway, that would only eliminate Linda."

"Or me."

"Well, I sort of already eliminated you, thus this whole conversation."

"And why is that?"

I shrugged. "I'm hoping it's because I possess a remarkable sense of character, and not that I'm a complete idiot."

"So what do you want to ask me?"

"For starters, who in Ghoulish Delights was closest to Jennifer, personally? I'm thinking maybe a lover."

"Jeez, I don't think I can help you with that one, either. I've never noticed that any of us were all that close to her. I wouldn't put it past her to have cheated on Mike, but I can't imagine it being with anyone at work. Dominick, maybe, but he and Linda are pretty serious. I don't think Carl's even kissed a girl yet, and who could be attracted to Farley?"

"No one in any universe I've ever inhabited," I admitted. "Do they all own computers?"

"I don't know. Carl and Farley definitely do. I think Linda does, but I can't say for sure. I'msorry, I'm not being much help, am I?"

"Sure you are. Another question...does anyone in the group own a bow and arrow?Maybe a crossbow?"

"Yeah, Dominick does. He has an amazing collection of weaponry from what I hear, all kinds of stuff. But he also has a bunch of stuff that he leaves in theoffice, that anyone could have taken."

The Mad Archer hadn't really demonstrated any out-of-the-ordinary skill, so this knowledge didn't help much. "The guy I sort of scared to death last night, The Apparition, do you know him? Your name was in his address book."