Jeff Strand - Graverobbers Wanted - No Experience Necessary

Carl came over and sat down on the couch. "Do you think Mike's okay?" he asked.

"That's what I'm trying to find out. When was the last time you saw him?" This was a pretty obvious question that I should have asked Farley, but I didn't think of it due to the previously stated fact that I suck as a detective.

"Last week. He was all psyched about going toEurope ."

"Was Jennifer with him?"

Carl nodded. "She picked him up at work."

"Did she come inside?"

"Just to tell him to hurry up."

"Do you think they're a happy couple?"

Carl shrugged. "Sure."

"What makes you think so?"

Carl looked uncomfortable."I don't know, why shouldn't they be? Isn't Jennifer the one who hired you?"

"Yes, she is. I'm just trying to find out everything I can. Do you think she was faithful to him?"

"How should I know? She never asked me to videotape her sleeping around or anything, if that's what you're wondering."

"No, that's not quite what I was wondering, but thanks. Now here's a fill-in-the-blank question: If Michael owned a safety deposit box, it would contain what?"

Carl looked very confused. "Huh?"

I was giving serious consideration to dropping this question from future interrogations. "Just say the first thing that pops into your mind."

"Nothing pops into my mind." He thought for a moment. "Legal documents, backup copies of software programs, I don't know. Why are you asking?"

"Like I said, just getting information."

"I don't think I have any information. All I do is videotape stuff for Ghoulish Delights and occasionally help them with the new scenarios. Can I get back to the game?"

"Sure, have fun. Slay an elf for me."

"Mycharacteris an elf!"

I gathered up my children and we headed back into the main area. That same alien was trying to devour another actress who wore nothing to block Kyle's view of her jiggling capabilities, so I covered his eyes with my hand and led him outside.

We walked a block to an outdoor pay phone and I began to make more calls. My in-laws still weren't home, nor were either of the babysitters who hadn't blacklisted my children. "It's Thursday night, where onearthare these people?" I asked aloud.

"When can we see Mommy?" asked Theresa.

"Not until visiting hours start tomorrow," I said. "But we'll call her as soon as I find a babysitter."

"We don't need a babysitter," Theresa insisted. "I can watch Kyle."

"No, you can't!" said Kyle.

"Forget it, there's no way in the world I'm leaving you two alone," I said. "I'd come back and the house would have sunk like the Titanic. Who's that one lady who watched you that one time?The lady with that stupid dog with thosefoofy things on its tail?"

"Mrs.Denkle ," said Theresa. "She moved."

"Is she still inFlorida ?"

"Maybe."

I decided I wasn't going to spend the rest of the evening chasing around a Mrs.Denkle who might still live inFlorida . I made a couple more desperate phone calls, but came up empty. So the only person left to watch them was currently hiding out in a cemetery.Great.

I called Helen at the hospital and let the kids talk to her for two minutes each. Then I told her that the kids and I planned to spend the rest of the evening at home watching television. This wasn't the truth, and my lie would be probably be revealed the very next time she spoke with our children, but for now it was worth it just to keep Helen from worrying.

It was about nine o'clock. I herded the kids into the car and we drove the twenty minutes to theEverlifeCemetery . It was a large cemetery with no gates surrounding it. Though there were no hills, a couple of large mausoleums provided an excellent place to hide, along with the bordering woods.

"Okay, we're going to play a new game," I said. "It's called Car Hide and Seek. I want both of you to duck down as far as you can and hide. I'm going to step right outside the car, and when I get back in I'll see if I can find you. How does that sound?"

"That's silly, Daddy," Theresa informed me.

"But silly games are the most fun, right?"

"No."

"Yeah!" said Kyle, most likely just to contradict her.

"Play Daddy's silly game and we'll play another game later. Now duck down. I don't want to be able to see any part of you when I'm outside the car."

They both squished down as far as they could, and I got out of the car. Since I was here almost three hours early, I didn't really expect the killer to be around anyway, but I wanted to take as few chances as possible.

"Roger! Hey, Roger! It's Andrew! You awake?"

A moment later I saw Roger step out from behind some trees at the far end of the cemetery. As he began to crutch toward me, I could see that he didn't look happy. Not that I blamed him.

"What's up?" he called out.

"Change of plans. I couldn't get rid of the kids."

"You mean I sat out here all this time for nothing?"

"Yep.Did you see anything?"

"Not a thing. You brought me food, right?"

"Uh, yeah, I think Kyle still has all of his green Skittles left."

"You suck, man." Roger reached me, slightly out of breath and covered with sweat and dirt. "So what are we supposed to do now?"

"My guess is that you don't want to hang out here another few hours and meet our friend yourself, right?"

"Good guess."

"So we'll trade." I glanced back at the car to make sure the kids weren't peeking. "Hand over the flashlight."

He handed it to me.

"Take the kids to your place," I said. "I want them in bed by ten, and no sugar unless you absolutely can't get them to go to bed without it. Where's your car?"

"It's parked at a church about two miles away. Just follow the road that way," Roger said, pointing. "Enjoy the fact that you're not doing it on crutches."

"Thanks. I guess I'll get in touch with you later. Try and keep the phone line free, okay?"

"Are you sure you want to do this? There's no law saying you have to show up here just because some psycho killer left a message in a jack-in-the-box."

"Don't worry, I'll be careful," I assured him.

After we traded keys, I opened the car door, located my children, and gave them the usual instructions about not driving Roger to the brink of suicide. Then they left, and I headed for the cover of woods to wait.

Chapter 10

THREE HOURS waiting in a graveyard after dark starts to get to you. I don't know why. Maybe it's all the dead people hanging around underground. Whatever it was, by the time my watch said it was ten minutes to midnight, I had a major case of the creeps, the willies, and the heebie-jeebies. At least the flesh-eating zombies were keeping themselves hidden away.

I sat there for another ten minutes and the same nothing that had been happening all night continued happening. I wondered if the killer was hiding someplace else, waiting for me to drive by. Maybe without somebody acting as bait (which was to be my job in the original plan), he wouldn't show up. Regardless, I was going to wait at least another half hour before I gave up.

Then I heard a faint beeping, like an alarm clock going off. For a moment I thought it was mycreeped -out,willied , andheebie-jeebied imagination, but a few more seconds convinced me that, yes, I was definitely hearing a beeping. You weren't generally supposed to hear beeping in a cemetery at midnight, so I had a pretty good idea that this had something to do with the reason I was here.

I surveyed as much of the graveyard as I could see, whichwas most of it .Nobody around. The killer could have left a beeper any time before our stakeout, maybe even before Jennifer hired us.

Reluctantly I emerged from my hiding spot, turned on the flashlight, and began to walk toward the beeping sound. It was hard to gauge exactly where it was coming from, but after a couple of minutes I pinpointed the spot and knelt down beside a small hole in the ground, about the size of a dime.