Diana Richardson - Tantric Sex for Men

varies in increments proportional to the relative change of the stimulus. Today this is known to be true

for every sensory channel within its range of dynamics. A simple example would be to light a match

in the darkness. In this instance the light is like an explosion, but if you do the same in bright sunlight,

it is barely perceptible. More sensation correlates to less sensitivity, and less sensation correlates to

more sensitivity. Instead of endlessly seeking more and more sensation, we should begin to develop

our senses so that we become capable of feeling the subtle yet vital life force moving through us at

any moment of the day.

Mechanical Repetition and Loss of Sensitivity

To raise the intensity of sensation, we increase the tempo and frequency of our movements. We

become mechanical, repeating the same thing again and again. Whenever there is an element of

mechanical repetition in movement there is a corresponding lack of consciousness, and thereby loss

of sensitivity, in each of the contributing individual movements. The steps that make up the journey

are lost as we become climax machines, tense with the effort of getting where we want to go—

orgasm!

Through being in a hurry we actually reduce the capacity to internally feel ourselves at a

meaningful level. What is happening second by second in the body and genitals? Within the penis?

Around the penis? Between the penis and vagina? If we are conscious in each moment, in each

movement, the unfolding of sex can become a state of awe and wonder that lasts for hours. An

experience of pure pleasure. A state of timelessness is entered wherein the moments emerge

spontaneously from the body, unfolding naturally, one giving way to the next without fantasy or goals

or mind being involved. The body is taken over by an innate force that intelligently guides it into

loving expression. It is quite literally a mindless experience because we become utterly absorbed by

our bodies in their state of heightened sesitivity. The more conscious and present a person is during

sex, the greater his or her sensitivity will be.

Woman’s Excitement Can Trigger Male Ejaculation

Most men have experienced coming very easily when the woman gets overexcited or too hot,

especially as she strives to come to a climax. Ejaculation happens in a helpless enjoyable flash, and

there is nothing to be done to avoid it. Many men confirm this experience, saying it is as if an

ejaculation is virtually pulled from them, completely out of the blue. They are taken by surprise

because they were nowhere near ready to ejaculate. Although the situation appears uncontrollable

there is something that can be done, and that is to avoid making the woman too excited. If you’d like

to make love last longer, maintain the sexual temperature at cool to gently simmering.

WOMEN’S SEXUAL RELUCTANCE

Let’s face reality: men usually desire sex more often than their partners do. Ever wondered why? The

truth is that for a woman the few minutes of sexual interaction are not really satisfying. There is

hardly sufficient time for her body to warm up and celebrate the occasion. This sadly implies that

women repeatedly return from sexual encounters feeling unfulfilled and at a loss—with the sense that

the pleasures of sex are not worth the efforts of sex. Feelings such as these can get firmly embedded

and cause many women to begin to avoid sex. Research reveals that 82 percent of women would

rather kiss and cuddle than have sex; they find the exchange more nourishing. The choice to cuddle

instead of having sex is a reflection of women’s lack of true enjoyment when the penis is within the

vagina.

Men can rest assured that the reluctant sexual response of a woman is not a mental or conscious

response wherein she suddenly decides she does not want sex. (There are contraception issues that

sometimes stand in the way of a woman’s assent, mentioned in chapter 7.) The closing down of a

woman’s body is usually a slow, gradual process, unless she has suffered some trauma, in which case

the closing down can be immediate. The withdrawal is physical yet very subtle, and something over

which a woman does not have much conscious control. Many a woman feels she is alone in her

unexpected and uninvited turnoff to sex, but it is a common and universal theme. Repeated lack of

fulfillment plays a great part in why women experience loss of interest in sex. Women are definitely

not frigid by nature, but their bodies start to freeze over when the sex is always hot, hard, and quick.

What’s a man to do? Why precisely are women not enjoying sex? Why does your woman not want

sex as much as you do? A recent Redbook survey shows that 52 percent of women regularly fake

orgasms. According to a Durex Global Sex Survey, only 17 percent of women are likely to have an

orgasm during sex. Forty-three percent of women report “some kind of sexual problem,” such as the

inability to achieve orgasm, boredom with sex, or total lack of interest in sex.

Basically women are not getting what they need sexually from men. At the root of the problems lies

the male lack of understanding of the female body and man’s loss of control over ejaculation. These

facts are basic to female sexual withdrawal and difficulties in reaching orgasm. She doesn’t enjoy sex

because it doesn’t feel good. How much sex would you want if you never even had an orgasm? If you

want more sex from your woman, discover how to express yourself physically in a way that opens

her, expands her body energy, and makes her ask for more. Once you figure that out, you won’t have

to ask. Trust us—she’ll be asking you to make love to her. If you don’t believe it, just try it.

There is an urgent need to discover how to extend the length of time of lovemaking, literally penis

in vagina, for deeper sexual satisfaction of both the man and the woman. Their sexual experiences are

inextricably intertwined, not separated into something one likes and the other does not. If a woman is

not fully open to her partner, his sexual experience becomes one-dimensional, repetitive, and finally,

boring. Then the need arises to introduce increasingly exciting and stimulating situations, porn

movies, sex toys, party games, and the like to keep things rolling.

When woman is made love to consciously and at length, the man’s experience is transformed; it

becomes otherworldly, a multidimensional happening. When a man spends more clock time with his

penis inside the woman he automatically thinks less about sex, because he is having it. Prolonged

sexual experience in relaxation brings him a confidence and trust in himself, which in turn reduces

presexual tension and excitement, and thereby postpones ejaculation.

Ejaculation can be postponed indefinitely once you discover the way to do so. Given that human

beings do not make enough love, extending lovemaking by delaying, postponing, or even abandoning

ejaculation sounds like the perfect remedy for bringing the situation into balance. There are always

two opposing directions in which we can move with our sexual energy as human beings: emotional or

mature, superficial or empowering, stimulating or relaxing, biological or spiritual, discharging or

containing, reproductive or generative, unconscious or conscious.

PERSONAL SHARING

Enjoying Both Thrills and Silence