Diana Richardson - Tantric Sex for Men

fought so hard I could not remember what it was. To cut a long story short, by the time I got to your retreat for the first

time, I and my sexuality were full of disappointment, anger, and tons of aggression. By then I thought it had to be that

way.

I could not imagine sex without moving, licking, and so on. No wonder I felt slightly uncomfortable when you told us

about a kind of sex that included none of this. It was difficult to deal with strange things like meditation, finding a home

inside myself, or massaging the perineum, but nothing was comparable to my panic when my penis was inside my wife and

I had no idea what was going to happen next. The panic reached all-time highs when my penis started to shrink while

inside my wife. I felt lost and powerless, as if my penis were no longer a part of me. All the anger and frustration stored

inside of me turned into a huge wave, ready to drown me. There was just one solution: movement, friction, and

ejaculation. Welcome, black hole.

Gradually, with the relaxation of a week of meditation, I became more and more aware of myself. I felt touches in

places where I did not know I could feel anything. In fact, it was new to me to be touched without getting aggressive or

horny. It was such a relief to just lie down and listen to my body. I started to feel excitement all over my body, not only

inside my penis. The speed of lovemaking slowed down day by day. My body experienced that orgasm and ejaculation

are not the same. Sometimes they were, but even the feeling of ejaculation changed. Good-bye, black hole.

When I came back from the week with you, I came back with the feeling that I had forgotten something really

essential. All the ghosts of the past came back, and this time, hitting the floor really hurt. Once again I lost connection to

myself, and no bodywork or meditation could bring me back home. We returned to your retreat to listen to you both one

more time. I don’t know what happened and I don’t want to know what happened, but somebody or something brought us

together again. There’s just one word for it—grace. I’m really grateful and I hope I won’t spoil it again this time.

Believe it or not, it took me four weeks to write these few sentences. If it had been a letter instead of an e-mail, there

would be tear stains on it. Thank you for being not teachers, but two human beings who live what they preach. You have

a place in my heart forever.

LETTER SHARING (MAN)

The Rewards of Being Present

My wife and I attended your “Making Love” course this year and completely changed our style of sex. We decided that

sex has to have high priority in our lives. We make three or four appointments for making love on weekends, and two or

three during the week. And in the morning we often do exercises; I like to stretch my body and get a feeling of my

perinium and pelvic floor area. It is beautiful to be connected to my wife and closer through making love. We have less

stress and tension around sex since we began practicing cool sex. And we laugh more while making love, for example

when we change position. For me it is good that my wife always feels my penis. There is only one condition: To be

present. I think my challenge is to be present and to learn to talk about my feelings.

LETTER SHARING (MAN)

Postmenopause Miracle

Since we’d been working on ourselves for more than twenty-five years and giving mental training seminars for three

years, we had the feeling we knew at least the tip of the iceberg, yet you taught us much, much more.

For the past ten years, since the changes due to menopause, we had given up sexuality, but we are now living what we

both call a “wonder” or a “miracle.” All the doctors and the few trainer/teachers we had approached confirmed that in

nature, “Women are, in fact, old models,” and that we would have to live with this situation. I adjusted, but fortunately,

my wife did not give up. She had the feeling that despite not being fond of sex, something was missing in our marital

partnership.

Since we met you on the first night of the “Making Love” seminar, and after our very difficult and depressing

experience on the following afternoon, we began making love two to three times a day with utmost pleasure and love.

Although all the doctors (including a gynecologist) told us that the dry, closed, and painful vagina could only be

reactivated with the help of regular hormone therapy, which my wife did not want at all, things have actually worked out

to be as they were in our very young days. She is smooth and lubricated, and with love and pleasure as never before, not

even at age twenty-five. For us this is a wonder. And with this completion of the circle, the love, tenderness, pleasure,

care, ease, and happiness that has entered our partnership is at its very best. Nobody knows how happy we are, except

us, of course.

With the easy way things are going now, we both believe your words—that this world can live in peace and happiness.

We are spreading the word and hope that eventually it will reach all humans, and that all those who can see and feel the

truth will live a new life with joy.

LETTER SHARING (MAN)

Making Appointments for Lovemaking

First, thank you once again for the beautiful week. It was a milestone in my personal journey toward myself. Now, after a

week of practicing what we learned from you during the retreat, I notice that I feel completely different—calm, present,

happy, and content—and many tensions have disappeared. Although my everyday life continues to have many

obligations, I am going through it more serenely and without hurry.

The fact that I have dropped the very idea of goals in lovemaking gives me a totally different feeling in my body, mind,

and emotions. Now I know that I don’t need to go anywhere or do anything, but just feel and rest in the present moment.

This gives me enormous trust in myself and in life, because now I know that I don’t need to create anything and that I just

have to wait for things to happen on their own. Also, the fact that my wife and I make appointments to make love is a

totally different approach in our relationship, because knowing that we both are willing to go forward in lovemaking

makes me satisfied and without anxiety. I don’t need to wonder whether she wants to be with me or not; I know she wants!

And this is such a relaxing feeling.

All of your “Love Keys” are so important: eye contact, slow penetration, breathing, heart opening, and so on. But one

of the most important things is that lovemaking becomes like a continuous exploration, because so many things are