T. Novan - Words Heard In Silence / Xena Uber

A particularly hard lurch tossed the car a bit to the side, and Charlie groaned in pain, even through the laudanum-induced stupor.

Rebecca stood and covered his chest gently with her own body, to give him a feeling of being protected. "It is all right, my love, you are going to be fine." She placed a kiss on his cheek, allowing her lips to linger for a moment.

The trip continued, a hell for Rebecca, with each hard lurch or stop bringing a groan of pain from Charlie. Yet the drugs kept him too sedated to talk, or to even acknowledge her presence. By the time they reached Culpeper, six hours later, Rebecca was emotionally and physically exhausted. Shortly before they arrived, Whitman gave Charlie another dose of laudanum to ease the painful transition from the train to Redmond Stables and his own bed.

--*--

Charlie’s men had carried his litter home, in a relay over the course of the three miles from the station to the house. They knew the slow, steady pace of walking would be less traumatic for him that being moved in a wagon. Arriving at the house, Rebecca allowed the men in the last relay to carry Charlie up the stairs to their room.

As soon as they had been seen coming, the house was alive with people. They immediately overwhelmed Rebecca. She ordered the troopers upstairs and sent Jocko and Whitman to settle Charlie into bed; they were the only ones she could trust.

As she watched them take him upstairs, she was immediately besieged by the staff and Emily.

"Mama!"

Rebecca smiled through her own exhaustion and knelt down to greet her daughter. "Hello, my little darling."

"Mama home." Em wrapped her arms around Rebecca’s neck, gracing her with a kiss to the cheek."

"Yes. Mama is home. Home to stay."

"Papa?" Em looked expectantly behind Rebecca and then around the room. "Papa?"

"Papa is upstairs."

"Em go!" She turned and started the effort of getting up the steps when Rebecca caught her and sat on the step with her. She pulled Em into her lap and then looked to Beulah, Tess, Lizbet, Ginny and Reg who were all waiting expectantly for information. When the train had arrived draped in black, a rider had rushed to the house and told everyone that Miss Rebecca was back but that the General must be dead.

"Emily, your Papa is very sick."

"No. Papa well."

"Em, I am sorry, but Papa is very sick."

At that moment, Em burst out crying. "Papa die!"

"No, no, Papa is not going to die, but he needs time to get well."

"Mama sick. Mama die. Papa sick. Papa die."

The look on the little girl’s face was tearing Rebecca up. She wanted to take Em up and prove to her that Charlie would be all right, but at the moment she was not entirely sure of that herself. "Em, has Mama ever lied to you?"

"No."

"I am not going to start now. Papa will be fine, but he needs to rest. I promise, I will take you to see him as soon as I can." Tears filled Rebecca’s eyes, partly from fear and partly from exhaustion. She was simply too tired to think clearly. "Em, Mama needs to change. Go with Tess and we will go see Papa later when he has had a chance to rest."

Em looked into her Mama’s face and knew it would be best if she did what she was asked. She sensed now might not be the time to have a fit. "Yes, Mama."

Rebecca kissed her daughter and handed her off to Tess. "How are the boys?"

"Fine, Miss Rebecca." Ginny stepped forward. "They are just fine. Sleeping."

"Thank goodness for that." She addressed all of them. "I need to go see to the General. I will be down later to tell you everything."

She stood and headed up the steps, with her staff watching every tired step. They were worried about their mistress. She looked as though she had been through hell. It was obvious that she had not slept properly and that she had not been eating, and had not had a proper bath in a very long time. Lizbet looked to her family then back up the steps. "Miss Rebecca, please wait. Let me come help you." And with that the young woman was up the steps right behind Rebecca.

--*--

Wednesday, April 26, 1865

Very slowly, Charlie woke. His head felt like it had been stuffed with cotton batting, every part of his body ached, and it felt as if the devil himself was roasting his entire right side. It seemed to him that the field hospital had become far more comfortable than he remembered from the past. Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked around. He realized he was lying in his own bed, on the side that Rebecca usually slept on. "My God, I cannot be home. This must be a dream. A horrible dream." He spoke aloud, trying to break out of this terrible, painful dream.

Jocko spoke from the chair he was sitting in by the window on the far side of the bed. "It is no dream, Gen’l C. You are home." The man rose and came toward the bed. "You were badly injured at Appomattox Station. Do you remember?"

"I remember being blown off my horse. Duncan was there. Then you and Jack were there. I thought I was going to die."

"You did not die, Gen’l. Dr. Walker did her best."

"I remember asking her to not take the leg."

Charlie lifted his bandaged hand. Agony tore through his shoulder from moving the arm. From the shape of the bandage, it was clear that part of the hand was missing. "Are you sure I am not dead and this is just my punishment?"

Jocko looked at his old friend with a mixture of sorrow and pity. "Charlie." He snorted. "It has been a long time since I have called you just Charlie." He cleared his throat. "Charlie, you have been very badly wounded. Half your hand was blown away. Your whole right side is a mess. You are missing a lot of muscle tissue, but you have no other broken bones and eventually, you will heal. You have to keep that in mind in the coming weeks."

"What do you mean?" Charlie tried to move his right leg. The pain was so intense he had to stifle a scream. And he failed to move the leg. When he could talk again, he panted, "Jesus, Jocko. Will I walk?"

"Maybe, with a cane."

Charlie closed his eyes. It was bad enough that he could not offer Rebecca a real life with a real man. Now she had a maimed cripple on her hands In a flat voice, he asked, "How did I get home?"

"We brought you home in General Grant’s train."

Charlie thought for a long time. While he lay there, Jocko carefully checked the bandages. There was no sign of seepage, so he left them.

"Where is Miss Rebecca?"

"Downstairs with the children, I believe."

"Where is she sleeping?"

"She used the davenport last night, so as not to disturb or hurt you."

"Jocko. Do me a favor?"

"Anything, Gen’l C."

"Set up a cot down in my office. I need to give Miss Rebecca her bed and a place to sleep in comfort. Do what you need to do to move me down there today."

"Charlie, do you think that is a good idea? Miss Rebecca is ––"

Charlie snapped. "Jocko, do not question me. Just get me moved as quickly as you can. And do not tell Miss Rebecca until it is done."

--*--

After putting Em down for her nap, with a promise they would see Papa when she woke, Rebecca went to check on Charlie. When she stepped into the room she was shocked to find the bed empty and Lizbet changing the sheets.

"Where is Charlie?"

"General Charlie asked Mister Jocko to move him to his office downstairs."

"What?"

"I do not know more than that, Miss Rebecca. They moved him, and then Mister Jocko told me to remake your bed with fresh linens."

Rebecca left the room. She was furious and upset, a very bad combination when it came to Rebecca Redmond; Jocko was about to get it with both barrels. "Jocko!" she yelled as she descended the stairs.