Rachel Cantor - A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's Guide to Saving the World

What do you mean? Sally asked.

You led him here, putting us all in danger.

He led us, actually.

He is here because of you, and now Abulafia must attend to him.

Meaning what? Leonard asked.

Better not to know, Zedekiah said, then flattened himself against the wall as a freakishly tall man — or maybe a rushing spirit? — flew past them, opened the door, and touched the prostrate Ugolino with a disgusted fingertip. After muttering a few unintelligible words, the man-spirit disappeared. Into the thinnest air, taking Ugolino with him. In a moment he was back, slamming the door behind them, and again streaming past.

He was covered in hoarfrost, Ugolino nowhere in sight.

My Master says there are regions so cold that moving things lose their life there. They become still as statues. Even water ceases to move. I know! Most remarkable! He has brought that terrible man to such a place.

Abulafia left Ugolino on a polar tip?

Come this way, Zedekiah said.

The End of Days

What is this place? Leonard asked, as they walked down the narrow stone hallway, with its uneven floor, grooved by centuries of walking.

In the old days it was a theater, Zedekiah said, over his shoulder.

So I gather.

Now it is a fortress. It belongs to the Savelli, Zedekiah said.

Name sounds familiar, Sally said.

No relation to Bobolo, more’s the pity. Watch your head.

They ducked under a low-hanging lintel and walked up first one, then another flight of stairs.

The Savelli are no friends of the Jews, Zedekiah said, but they hate the Orsini more. They know of the Master’s plan to visit the Orsini pope …

Nicholas III, Sally said, stopping at the top of the stairs.

They are hoping the Master will kill him, Zedekiah said, also stopping. Or shock the pope to death with his wondrous signs, or maybe send him to a far-off world. They hope one of their own can then be elected in his place. They’ve had rather a dry spell, pope-wise. They delude themselves, of course. When the Master visits the pope, it will be to announce and, by announcing, effect the End of Days.

The End of Days? Leonard asked.

The End of Days! Zedekiah confirmed.

Awesome karate kicks

Leonard gave Sally a tender shove so she’d start walking again.

Where’s Felix? Leonard asked.

Young Asher is fine, Zedekiah said. How could it be otherwise? He is learning with the Master.

Why didn’t you just tell us where he was? Why confound us with riddles? Sally asked.

You said you were guided, Zedekiah said. It was important to know if this was true.

Why Asher ? she asked.

The boy needed a Hebrew name. Obviously. Asher means happy, like Felix . For someone who is guided, my lady, you seem to know very little.

You’re not speaking as you were before, Sally observed.

Zedekiah looked at them blankly. The man was now within Abulafia’s realm, Leonard realized; the translation, somehow, came from him, not Isaac. This made Leonard uneasy: could Isaac not reach them here?

He wished he had a plan, but he was out of plans.

Zedekiah led them into an anteroom and motioned them to sit on some wooden benches.

Not till I see Felix, Leonard said.

He and the Master are studying. You have seen what the Master is capable of. Interrupt him, and he could lose concentration, and who knows where they might end up, he and the boy. Best to wait. Please, sit. No, not together!

Leonard and Sally sat on separate benches.

Reading material is here, if you are feeling worshipful, Zedekiah said, pointing to some leather-bound tomes with golden Hebrew writing on their covers. They looked very much like the books Leonard’s grandfather read, only newer. One, on top, was very small and featured silver cornerpieces. Leonard was about to reach for it, to see the patterns stamped on its leather exterior, when Zedekiah said, It is possible to watch the learning.

Leonard jumped up, and Zedekiah showed him a small peeping hole in the varnished wood door.

This is what Leonard saw:

Felix looking on while a freakishly tall bearded man with a space between his teeth practiced awesome karate kicks.

He’s laughing

Sally! Leonard shouted. He’s there! Felix is there! He’s laughing.

Laughing at the Master? Zedekiah said, pushing Leonard away. This is not possible. Enough. Sit back down. You are not initiated.

Not initiated! Leonard said. I taught the boy everything he knows! and to Zedekiah’s infinite surprise, and possibly his own, he too began to kick.

When he finished, Zedekiah’s face was white, and Leonard’s was bright red.

I insist on seeing the boy this very minute !

I’ll see what can be done, Zedekiah muttered, and left the room through a door that seemed to lead in an entirely different direction.

Come look, Leonard said to Sally.

I trust you, Sally said.

Leonard looked again through the peeping hole. Abulafia was still kicking, his face ecstatic; Felix was watching a miniature sundial near a window, apparently shouting encouragement. On a low table, near the Master, what looked to be a navigator watch; under the table, carrying bags.

Zedekiah was nowhere in sight. This is ridiculous, Leonard thought, so he simply opened the door.

There was no rending of the universe, no disappearing into alternative space realms. Instead, Felix shouted, Leonard! and Abulafia, losing his concentration, lost his balance and landed on an elbow.

Leonard wasn’t sure what to do first: hug Felix or check whether Felix had stopped yet another world.

He hugged Felix, of course, who said, Don’t worry, I didn’t stop the world. Abba taught me how to control my powers. It’s not hard once you know how. Or at least some of my powers — we don’t even know how many I have! What happened to your hair? Is Sally here? Hi, Sally!

Abulafia picked himself up from the ground.

I believe you have something of mine, he said.

Leonard ignored him.

We’ve come to take you home, he said to Felix.

Something small, Abulafia said. I need it back, we need it back. Tonight, in fact.

I can’t go home yet, Felix said. We’re bringing on the End of Days, then I can go home.

Felix, angel button, if you bring on the End of Days, there will be no home.

Felix looked up at Abulafia quizzically. The Master must have been three times Felix’s height. He knelt down so he could look Felix in the eye.

Technically, your uncle is correct, he said. But the End of Days is far better than anything, you’ll see.

Okay, Felix said. Leonard, you won’t believe the things I can do! Abba says that when I stop time, I’m at the edge of the orchard! He knows the secret of the orchard! He knows what the Bens, the rabbi, and the other guy saw there! He’s the rabbi who saw what was there and went home again!

Abulafia rose again to his full height.

The orchard is the mystical secret of everything, it is that toward which we ascend, we prophets. The unworthy cannot bear it — they die, they go insane or become heretics. You can see this thing, boychik, if you stay with me.

Don’t you call him that! Leonard warned.

He says I’ll see it too! Felix said.

But we have to leave now if we’re to see the pope tomorrow and be back before the Sabbath, Abulafia said, picking up his carrying bag. My small thing? he asked. Maybe you can give it to me now before you forget? — and he started inching toward Felix.

Leonard grabbed the boy.

Oh, no, Leonard said. Felix is finished with you. He’s coming home with us.

Aww, Leonard! Aww! C’mon!

Felix stomped his little foot.