Leila Aboulela - Lyrics Alley

His bitterness did not surprise her.

‘Just ignore him and keep writing.’

He sat down on the sand and looked out at the sea.

‘It doesn’t come to me any more. As if it’s all gone dull inside. I read collections, I memorise whole poems, and I copy down the lyrics of songs that I like, but that poem he tore up was the last one I composed.’

She tucked her dress behind her knees and sat next to him.

‘Can’t you make yourself do it? Like homework?’

‘No, it’s not like that. Besides, I don’t care for it any more. No, that’s not true, I do care but I don’t have hope that I can amount to anything as a poet. After university, I am going to join the family business; I am not going to become a poet, so there is no point in wasting my time on it. Every family has a vocation. We are traders, not scholars or army men. We are men of the souq, not rulers or judges or engineers. Our great-grandfather started with one dingy shop in the Souq Al-Arabi and look how far we’ve come. Father has invested so much in my education and Nassir is not pulling his weight. I can’t deviate and be something else.’

He sounded grown-up and realistic, pushing back childish dreams. But it still seemed sad and she did not know what to say to him. Should she console him or applaud him? His words were heavy, too serious for this golden beach and holiday breeze.

‘Come on, let’s walk back.’

He stood up and they turned, retracing their footsteps, surprised that in many places the smudged imprints of their feet were unruffled by the reach of the waves. She felt him soften next to her, settle back to his normal, easy mood.

‘I have big feet for a girl, nearly as big as yours! Sometimes in shops I can’t find my size.’

They measured their feet against each other. He dug his right foot in the sand and then she nestled hers in the imprint. His feet, they concluded, were slightly but definitely larger.

Nur picked up a shell. He brushed away the damp sand from it and made it look like ivory. It was flatter and wider than the shells the fortune tellers used back in Umdurman.

‘Have you ever had your fortune told?’ she asked.

‘Yes. It was all nonsense. I didn’t like it.’

‘Oh, I love to have my fortune told. It’s exciting.’

He smiled and put the shell in her hand, closed her fingers over it. They were quiet for a while, facing the direction of the orange umbrella and the moss-covered rocks, reluctant to traverse the distance.

‘Do you know what time Nassir came home last night?’ He was smiling. ‘Three in the morning. I know because he made such a clatter and woke me up.’

She laughed. She had started to feel kinder towards Nassir this summer, especially after he had purchased her glasses.

‘Next week Uncle Mahmoud will come and he’ll have to behave himself.’

‘Yes.’ Nur smiled. ‘No more parties and no more belly dancers.’

‘Belly dancers!’ Her eyes widened.

‘What did you think — that his nights were men only?’

She shrugged. ‘I didn’t really think about it.’

‘Maybe he’ll take us with him one night.’

‘Us?’

‘Yes. You and I. We’ll go to a cabaret. You’ll like the show.’

A cabaret. Did she have anything to wear for that? She imagined wine-coloured chairs and laughter, cigarette smoke and English soldiers, Greek girls dancing and, at the end of the evening, the voluptuous belly dancer. No! It would be one prank too many. They would never get away with it. Nur had a mischievous look on his face and she responded to his delight, his sense of adventure. He started to tell her about a night he and his schoolmates had gone to the Petit Trianon. Behind the sweet counter was a ballroom where a band played and couples danced. She listened, enraptured, and he put his arm around her waist as if they were dancing in the European way. It made her laugh out loud, but they were close enough to see Fatma waving at them to come back. Soraya couldn’t make out the expression on her face.

‘I wish she was the short-sighted sister,’ said Nur and this made her laugh in a different way.

They quickened their footsteps towards the umbrella.

‘If we had walked in the other direction, we could have sat on the rocks,’ said Nur.

The rocks were covered with slippery green moss, a lurid green in contrast to the beige sand and pale blue water. It was not a colour Soraya favoured and she was glad they had not sat on the rocks. Perhaps the moss and the seaweed would have stained her new dress.

‘Tomorrow,’ she said to him. Tomorrow, when she would be wearing her new bathing suit.

Nassir woke up when they ducked under the umbrella and threw themselves on the sand.

‘Zeinab, come and give me a kiss,’ said Soraya. ‘These cheeks of yours, I just have to pinch them.’ She cuddled her niece while Nur grabbed the newspaper off Nassir’s belly and started to read it.

Fatma, as expected, was annoyed. She whispered to Soraya, ‘Every day you two get more ridiculous than the day before. Behave, girl.’

‘Tell him, don’t tell me.’ She wanted to tease Fatma. It was amusing to see her angry.

‘I will tell him. You think I won’t? He shouldn’t be spending so much time with you alone.’

‘Why not? There’s nothing wrong with it.’

‘Soraya, behave or I will send you back.’

‘Back where?’

‘Back to Cairo. Back to Umdurman.’

This was so far-fetched that it didn’t have a sting to it.

Soraya laughed and gave her sister a hug. ‘When Uncle Mahmoud and Nabilah come every single one of us will be behaving properly.’ This was a reference to Nassir, and Fatma made a face.

‘Go play with them,’ Nassir was saying to Nur. ‘Why not? Go join them.’

Soraya turned to see that a football game had started further back in the beach where the sand was completely dry. Three men were kicking a ball; they were in their bathing trunks with their hair cut short.

‘Don’t you know they’re English soldiers?’ Nur didn’t look up and turned to a new page.

‘So what?’ Nassir said. ‘You’re the captain of the football team at Victoria. Tell them that.’

‘Nassir, you go and play with them,’ said Soraya and Nur chuckled.

‘Me!’ Nassir heaved himself up to an upright position. ‘Can’t you see I am out of shape?’

Nur folded the newspaper. ‘You used to be a fair player.’

‘Back then. .’ Nassir reclined back and folded his hands on his stomach.

‘Baba, look. The fresca man is coming. I want some,’ Zeinab pointed to the man with the white hat and large glass box balanced on his shoulders. He was loping towards them, making his way at the edge of the water.

Nassir hailed him and he came over and knelt on the sand, balancing the box on one knee. They all leaned forward to see what he was offering.

‘I want the coconut,’ said Soraya.

‘I want the flat one with the honey,’ said Zeinab.

‘Give us a mixture,’ said Fatma.

Nassir reached for his leather pouch. It was a characteristically slow gesture. He prized the pouch open and, with care, started to take the coins out. He was enjoying the process, enjoying paying for something, giving up money to get something in return. He had looked like that when he had paid for her glasses, generous, not questioning the amount. Soraya felt a fondness for him.

They munched in silence. Soraya enjoyed the sweetness of the coconut and the delicate crunch of the wafer. Nur had the one with the sticky peanuts. He bit half of one and gave her the rest. She dug her teeth in the honeyed peanuts and felt a surge of joy. This was his saliva she was tasting, and his lips.

The football rolled towards them. Nur was quick to stand up, place his foot on it and dribble away from the umbrella in the direction of the game. With one kick, he joined the game. He did not have to announce that he was captain of the school team; his footwork was enough for the soldiers to welcome him.