Arnon Grunberg - Tirza

'For a breast augmentation. She says: "I have nothing." And that is so. From above is just a little boy. The hope that the natural will do it has dropped, but she is to save, as I have already said. Occasionally I stopped her what. A vijftigje, a honderdje. You can smile. But for her it is a matter of life or death. The tits. No, it is a special child, a bold young woman who knows what she wants. You can be proud of her. You are also proud of her, I know. Just as I am. We are proud of her.'

Ship's steward ran out the door without to say something more, he ran down the stairs, went his house and walked right through to the kitchen. He was, what he was? He knew what he was no longer. Or is, he knew the, accident, that he was. A brok accident, accident made of bones, meat and what brain.

There was Tirza, on a stool, she was engaged to open kitchen cabinets.

'What are you looking for?' he asked.

'something to eat.'

'We are going so food.'

He placed the plastic bag on the worktop, took the panties out and lock the plastic bag on under the sink, where all empty plastic bags were stored.

'Why do you get angry, papa?' asked Tirza while taking in the crank climbed.

'I am not angry.'

'Why have you Ibi than skipped?'

'I have not skipped.' Ibi He searched for words, but the only word that came back again and again that it is not left, that he had never more would be leaving, was the word 'medelijden'. May have to daughters their father? Girls of fifteen? Just fifteen. And why? There was no reason to pity with him. He lived with his family in the good part of the Van Eeghenstraat, he had a respectable job as editor of a literary publishing, two beautiful daughters, one did all gymnasium, the other went to do that, he had a woman and a worker, he was not learns a sophisticated thanks to financial policy for him and his family. He was not a man to pity to have. Well, are oldest daughter saved for a breast augmentation. In the puberty many people did the craziest things. Were probably ten thousand girls of fifteen saving for breast augmentation. It heard. Nothing to them. He was an old father perhaps, but he was not a man to pity to have.

'I have calmed her,' he said soft and pensive.

'It says that you have beaten her.'

He put his hand in his neck, which was still moist. 'Ibi is a bit confused. How was it at school?'

'Ibi says that they may have no boyfriend.'

'They may best a boyfriend.'

'MAG I have a boyfriend?'

'You may also have a boyfriend.' He took Tirza on and continued its back on the crank. 'obviously that,' he said, 'I still keep yours Tirza. You may everything.'

They looked at him seriously, inquiring, and he wiped with a handkerchief on his face to remove the sweat. Only when he the handkerchief in his pocket wanted to stop, he saw that the Ibi's panties.

He explained the weather on the worktop, looked to one second. A black thong with a versierinkje that he could not at home. A beast. A butterfly? A? A Bumblebee?

He saw Tirza look. He lifted her. It took him effort. He had its long not raised. As he stood there in his kitchen, with his youngest daughter on his arm.

'Papa,' she said, 'is that of Ibi?' She pointed her finger to what on the counter.

'Yes,' he said. 'Dat is Ibi's pants. She has forgotten.'

Together they looked to the pants, Tirza and her father.

'If I am large later' asked Tirza, 'I get no tits?'

He took a deep breath.

'You will get them. Every woman gets breasts. Also you. And Ibi. But we need to be patient. You must learn to be patient. Everyone must have patience.'

When he pressed Tirza closer to adhere to and he remembered how he had held Tirza when she was a year old. He had lifted high into the air, above his head. 'Tirza,' he had said, 'you most beautiful of me, you love most. Do you know what you are? You are our solar queen. You have. And later if you large, go maybe dancing, or discover a new star, or you're writing and you win the Nobel Prize. Everything can be, my love Tirza, everything you like, because you are the solar queen. And now I will you completely dead cuddle.'

In fact he had its Mala, he had on a Mala read, to his wife a few days before the birth said to him: 'Mala means "bad" in Spanish. As a child you can not?'

When they had decided to call its Tirza, first with h, later but without, in order to avoid Hebrew associations.

He would not that his youngest daughter be called "bad".

'Come, Tirza,' he said. 'You're too heavy. I put you back on the ground.'

The guests drip than expected later within a ship's steward. It is half past eight and there is still no one. That is why he eats the first batch baked sardines itself but. In fact he had only later in the evening to begin with baking the sardines, but he was not able to take in. Three sardines he has already. He eats the spine. You noticed there is very little of it is such a small fish.

He runs to Tirza's room to her a freshly baked sardientje. She has a black dress to that for years in her closet will not dress which he, together with her for this celebration has purchased. One of three hundred euro with matching shoes of almost the same amount.

He must have looked at disappointed because they saves an arm around him and says: 'I just might put it on, PAP, but tonight he wouldn't state. Tonight is really not. I am not in the mood. It is simply not the dress from this night.'

He smiles generous with the board sardines in his hand. 'But we have bought him for this evening, Tirza, specially for your party,' he would say. He remains silent. His disappointment are case. They must remain invisible to the world. If Tirza is turned over smiles her father still, seemingly sensitive. 'You state everything,' he says and let her only.

Ship's steward opens the bathroom door. Ibi is in bad lie with the ELLE, the ladies like that they used magazine've despised. 'Papa' calls on them, 'You can not correct?'

He let his gaze thought loos her body glide, a few seconds it to its abdominal tail. 'Sorry,' he says, 'Are you pregnant?'

'Papa' calls on them, 'stel not that kind of weird questions and leave me alone.'

It closes the bathroom door and enters the bedroom within. The wife still do not know what they will attract. To make the difficult decision — perhaps shoot something suddenly her föhnt within — they first her hair. Almost nude she for the mirror in the bedroom, hairdryer loosely in her hands. A smoldering his cigarette in an ashtray. Apparently she has the ashtrays somewhere found.

Also state ship's steward silently to her to watch, he wants to say something, something feel free to tell ends and vriendschappelijks, something you say against a good old friend who after years once again on the visit. Nothing to fire him within. Then he drops down the stairs. He wonders whether she will ever want to leave. He sees on against her departure, but the idea that they are never from now on it will leave him not less benauwt

He is now back in the kitchen on a stool and eat, without really enjoy, still but a fried sardine. He has completely forgotten his youngest daughter with a sardientje to pamper yourself. 'Tirza,' he calls with half-full mouth, 'You must also go to taste. They are so fresh, so you get even in Portugal not.' There is no answer. He would carefully sardientje a baked in her mouth wanting to stop, and then continue to look at how they enjoy. Then he would want her mouth wipe with a paper towel, but he does not impose on them. He remains without to chew, he hears how someone hard the front door closes. Tirza would leave just before her party, now the guests can appear at any time? He does not understand why they do not want to come to him together with him of the sardines to enjoy. Slowly resumed chewing the ship's steward. There is so much what he does not understand. More and more.