Nicola Barker - The Cauliflower

Another devotee comes running into the room (followed, no doubt, by a panting M) and tries to reassure the early-twenty-something would-be savior of the world. “Your body is right here, Narendra! Don’t panic. Your body is here!”

But Narendra isn’t persuaded and he continues to wail.

At this point, M sensibly dashes upstairs to ask the guru what they can do to help. The guru receives the news of Narendra’s perceived disembodiment with complete equanimity. Then he smiles. Then he swipes a limp hand through the air, “Argh,” he whispers, with a hoarse chuckle, “Just leave him that way for a while. Let Naren have a little taste of his own medicine. He’s certainly worried me for long enough.”

After the great guru’s death, Narendra muses, somewhat astonished:

“We were trained by him

Without even knowing it—

Just through fun and games!”

:)

1863, at the Dakshineswar Kali Temple (six miles north of Calcutta)

Mathur Baba is a great and a powerful man, and he truly loves Uncle almost as much as I do. But it took Mathur Baba quite some time before he could fully accept the sudden arrival of the Brahmini and her great and immediate influence over Uncle’s sadhana .

The Brahmini has a very controlling manner and is of strong opinions, and after only a very short acquaintance with Uncle she became convinced that Uncle was an incarnation of God. Uncle received this shocking news with his typical childlike innocence. He skipped off to see Mathur Baba and gaily informed him of what the Brahmini had said:

“Mathur! Mathur! The Brahmini says that I am an incarnation of God!”

Mathur simply frowned and shook his head. He loved Uncle, but he thought the Brahmini had gone too far. He told the Brahmini that there could only be ten avatar s of Vishnu, as described in the Garuda Purana , and that this number had clearly already manifested. But the Brahmini insisted that there were also twenty-four in the Bhagavata Purana , and that anyway it also states in this most holy and sacred of texts that Vishnu’s incarnations are endless.

She showed the skeptical Mathur Baba the exact quotation. “ Whenever righteousness wanes and unrighteousness increases I send myself forth ,” she calmly read. “ For the protection of the good and for the destruction of evil, and the establishment of righteousness, I come into being age after age .”

Mathur Baba merely sucked his tongue and scowled and gazed at Uncle suspiciously from under his lowering eyebrows. But was Uncle worried or disturbed by Mathur’s doubting? Not at all! Uncle just clapped his hands joyfully and danced around and sang his sweet and charming songs in praise of his beloved Goddess. He was completely unconcerned. For why should Uncle care about what people say? Uncle has no ego . Uncle only cares about God and nothing else.

But the Brahmini would not be silenced. She stood up to Mathur Baba and told him that he should convene a conference of famous pandits to openly discuss the matter and come to a final decision upon it. Mathur Baba is a sensible and an educated man. He has a weakness for Uncle, a great weakness for Uncle — as I do — but he was not to be convinced so easily as all that. And it was only after considerable heart-searching — and with his deep misgivings — that the conference was eventually convened.

Yet what a great and learned occasion it was! The Brahmini presented her case before the summoned pandits in grand style and with much detailed reference to the scriptures. The pandits were all very thoughtful and serious about what the Brahmini had said.

Uncle sat among them like a child, hardly paying any attention. To Uncle this was just the Mother’s divine play, just her lila . Because for Uncle, fame and reputation are merely an illusion. They are maya . And yet even though Uncle made no effort whatsoever to convince or beguile the pandits, one by one they announced that yes, indeed, Uncle truly was an avatar (although when I questioned Uncle about this after, Uncle just threw up his hands impatiently and said, “Pah! What do I know about such things?”).

Mathur Baba is a freethinking man. Who can be sure whether the pandits convinced him of Uncle’s being an incarnation or not? I love Uncle as much as it is possible to love another human being, but I must confess that I was yet to be fully won over by their many and clever arguments. Perhaps I simply do not possess the kind of mind which would be liable to understand the finer details of such lofty issues? When I dwelled deeply on the matter I would merely flip-flop like a landed fish! Because one minute I would really and truly believe in their decision, then the next I would be terribly confused and perplexed. How could I be absolutely sure? How might I finally decide and feel secure?

It wasn’t too long after that conference, however, before Mathur Baba fell neatly into line with the pandits’ opinions. Late one afternoon, just before the start of the evening arati , Mathur Baba came running to see me as I was rinsing Uncle’s dhoti in the plate-washing tank. “Hriday,” he panted, “something truly extraordinary has happened! I was standing by a window in the kuthi gazing over toward the temple, and I caught sight of your Uncle, deep in thought, pacing up and down on the temple’s northeastern verandah. But as I stood and watched him he was suddenly transformed, and in place of your Uncle I saw the Goddess — I saw Ma Kali herself — quietly pacing, deep in thought, upon that same verandah, and then, when she reached the farthest extent and slowly turned around, I saw Lord Shiva walking back toward me again. I stood there for many minutes, Hriday. I closed my eyes several times and I blinked. But when I opened them, still, it was them , Hriday, the Great Goddess and her holy spouse, both apparently contained within the earthly form of your beloved Uncle. I swear my heart almost stopped beating there and then. I was so filled with awe and fear that I could scarcely breathe.”

Mathur Baba covered his chest with one hand and then reached out his other to touch my forearm. I could feel that his fingers were icy cold and still trembling violently. Yet before I could speak and offer any sort of consolation, he quickly continued. “I left the kuthi and I ran straight to your Uncle, Hriday, and I confronted him. I told him what I had seen.…”

“How did Uncle react?” I wondered, almost to myself.

“Your Uncle was not at all happy!” Mathur exclaimed, astonished. “In fact, he reprimanded me quite severely. ‘Stop all this fuss and commotion,’ he snapped, ‘and please leave me in peace! Is it not bad enough already that everyone in this temple thinks I have cast a wicked spell on you? Take control of yourself! What will they think if you continue to behave in this way?’ And then he sent me off with a flea in my ear. That is why I have come to you with this news, Hriday. For who else might I possibly confide in?”

Mathur burst into noisy tears, and I — humble and lowly Hriday, Mathur Baba’s newest spiritual confidant — was obliged to shake water from my callused working hands and embrace this great and soft and wealthy patriarch as if he were merely a sobbing village boy.

In that instant I was possessed of a most powerful feeling, not of fear, nor even of compassion, but of overwhelming triumph. Perhaps I had not been so foolish after all to dedicate my services so wholeheartedly to Uncle? Because of what real import was the mere “truth” of the matter? Whether Uncle was an incarnation of God or not was surely just a trifling issue if we had the belief and the loyalty and the support of a wealthy, powerful, and influential man like Mathur Baba.