Tao Lin - Richard Yates

“Me too,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Just take the drowsy medicine and sleep.”

“I’m sorry you have to be alone so far away,” said Dakota Fanning.

“It’s okay. Text me when you wake later.”

“Okay,” said Dakota Fanning. “Good night.”

A few hours later Haley Joel Osment emailed her Microsoft Paint drawings of an animal bred for optimal use in bestiality and an extremely rare species of fish named strubco@aol.com after Sean Strub’s email address. The email said he was going to find an umbrella and walk to Chang Mao. “But the road is so dark a hummer will probably knock me 30 feet into the forest,” said the email. “If I don’t answer your emails tomorrow can you send a search team specifying to search between 25 to 35 feet into the forest?” He went outside his room to an area with a life-size plaster bear wearing a sombrero and some cabinets with small cereal boxes inside that he had found and eaten the contents of one night. He found no umbrella. He went in his room and put on a green hooded sweatshirt. He photographed himself with his cell phone in the bathroom mirror and sent it to Dakota Fanning’s email account. He walked on the street in the dark toward Chang Mao. It was raining a little. He photographed his face in the green hood. He looked at the photo and sent it to Dakota Fanning’s email account. At Chang Mao he ordered bean curd in garlic sauce. He walked holding his cell phone with one hand and his food with another hand to his room. He put his cell phone next to a Richard Yates novel being used as a mouse pad. He sat on the wood floor and ate Chinese food while looking at his cell phone. He finished eating. He looked at his email. He looked at his cell phone. It was 11:39 p.m. Haley Joel Osment thought he would shower. He removed his clothes. He put his cell phone on the floor outside the stand-up shower.

“I’ll be able to hear it vibrating against the tile,” he thought.

He finished showering and looked at his cell phone. He dried himself and did fifty jumping jacks. He put on clothes and picked up his cell phone. He sat on the floor facing his computer screen with his back against the side of his bed. He put in earphones. He set his cell phone upright facing him. He opened a Microsoft Word file of his poetry. He searched Dakota Fanning’s name on the internet and found something he hadn’t seen before. She had written on a band’s message board a few years ago thanking them for their CD and promotional stickers. Haley Joel Osment read the message a few times. He thought about Dakota Fanning walking home after school in nice weather, seeing a package at her front door, carrying it upstairs into her room alone in the house, carefully opening it with a neutral facial expression feeling excited and calm and a little lonely.

A few days later at Dakota Fanning’s house Haley Joel Osment looked at her internet browser’s history and saw that she had searched “bulimia,” “vomit inducers,” “vomit inducers for toddlers” and that she had looked at photos of Matt Dixon and John and herself on MySpace. “Matt Dixon is attractive and Dakota looked at him a lot,” he thought. “She didn’t look at my MySpace photos. I look at photos of her a lot.” He masturbated to internet porn using a different browser. He reset the browser’s cache. About an hour later he walked to the bus stop. Dakota Fanning stepped off the bus. They walked holding hands toward her house. Dakota Fanning asked what he did today. “After I left the bus stop I worked on a to-do list and did push-ups in my room until your mom left,” he said. “Then I made coffee and drank it with ice and soymilk and did things on the computer. I worked on editing. I ate the pasta bowl you made me. Then I drew things for you and taped them to places in your room. Then I made peas and ate it with nutritional yeast and olive oil. I made a smoothie also. Then I vacuumed downstairs and upstairs and cleaned the computer room a little. Then I washed dishes and made you a smoothie and came to the bus stop.” Dakota Fanning showed Haley Joel Osment drawings she did of violinists that came to her school that day to perform for everyone. Haley Joel Osment said he liked the drawings and was quiet and then said “I looked at your internet browser’s history today.”

“What did it say?” said Dakota Fanning looking ahead.

“It just said you looked at Matt Dixon’s MySpace page and clothes and pictures of yourself.”

“Oh,” said Dakota Fanning and was quiet for about ten seconds.

“Did you do anything else today that you didn’t say?” she said.

“No,” said Haley Joel Osment with a very neutral facial expression. “Except like answering emails and reading blogs.” They walked past a few houses without talking. Some trees had leaves that were becoming yellow and orange. Haley Joel Osment remembered when Dakota Fanning said on the phone a few months ago that her family had planned to move to a different town but her mother decided to add a second floor instead. “It said you looked up vomit inducers,” he said walking across her front yard.

“Why did you look up vomit inducers?” he said at her front door.

“I don’t know,” said Dakota Fanning going in her house. “I was just curious. I wasn’t going to actually get one or anything.” She gave Haley Joel Osment a cup of water. She unrolled her Pilates mat on the living room floor. She began to do Pilates to a DVD. Haley Joel Osment walked to the post office. He mailed batteries in flat-rate priority envelopes to Mexico and Tennessee. He walked for about three minutes. He went in Dakota Fanning’s house. Dakota Fanning was doing leg stretches. He went upstairs and sat in front of the computer.

“It said you looked up bulimia on the internet,” he said a few hours later in bed. “Why did you look up bulimia?” Dakota Fanning’s head was on his chest. She was quiet for about twenty seconds and then said she had been throwing up after she ate. Haley Joel Osment petted her hair a few seconds. He asked how often she threw up. She said just a few times. Haley Joel Osment calmly asked more questions. Dakota Fanning said she had been lying about what she ate. She had been eating some of the food she made each morning for Haley Joel Osment. She had eaten her mother’s Halloween candy when Haley Joel Osment was at the post office.

“You waited until I went to the post office and then ate the candy?”

“Yes,” said Dakota Fanning.

“What if I forgot something and came back?”

“I didn’t think about that.”

“What candy did you eat?” said Haley Joel Osment.

“A peanut butter cup and a caramel thing.”

“What was the caramel thing?”

“Just some shitty caramel thing,” said Dakota Fanning. “I don’t even know what it was.”

“Did it taste good?” said Haley Joel Osment petting her arm and shoulder softly.

“Yes,” she said.

“Was it vegan?”

“I don’t think so, no, it wasn’t vegan.”

Haley Joel Osment asked if she lied about anything else. She said she lied when she said she only threw up a few times. She had been throwing up almost every day but only once a day. Haley Joel Osment said to tell him everything she had lied about. She said she was afraid and embarrassed and that she felt bad. “It’s okay,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Just don’t lie to me from now on.” He asked if there were more things she had lied about. She said she had to think. She said she was still thinking. After about two minutes she said she was still thinking. Haley Joel Osment stared at the wood ceiling fan thinking that now he would only focus on helping Dakota Fanning get better and making her feel happy and comfortable. He thought that he didn’t feel confused. He felt meaningful. Dakota Fanning said some more things she had lied about. Haley Joel Osment said she should tell him everything she had lied about so there wouldn’t be any lies between them. He asked her to go through all their emails and Gmail chats and find all the lies and write them in one email to him. She said she would do that. He said she should eat and do whatever she wanted from now on and not worry about making him upset and not throw up even if she ate something bad.