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Kody Keplinger: The DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend

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Kody Keplinger The DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend

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Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper is cynical and loyal, and she doesn't think she's the prettiest of her friends by a long shot. She's also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush. In fact, Bianca hates him. And when he nicknames her "Duffy," she throws her Coke in his face. But things aren't so great at home right now. Desperate for a distraction, Bianca ends up kissing Wesley. And likes it. Eager for escape, she throws herself into a closeted enemies-with-benefits relationship with Wesley. Until it all goes horribly awry. It turns out that Wesley isn't such a bad listener, and his life is pretty screwed up, too. Suddenly Bianca realizes with absolute horror that she's falling for the guy she thought she hated more than anyone.

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“Bianca,” Mrs. Perkins greeted me as I walked into the classroom and took my seat. “Well, better late than never, I suppose.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Sorry it took me so long.”

When I got home that afternoon, I was too exhausted to climb the stairs, so I collapsed on the couch and fell into a nice doze. I’d forgotten how good it felt to take a nap in the middle of the day. I mean, Europeans have the right idea with their siestas. Americans should consider adding them to their daily schedule because they’re incredibly refreshing, especially after a dramatic day like I’d had.

It was almost seven when I woke up, which didn’t give me much time to get ready for my date. My hair, which looked like a haystack after snoozing on the couch, would take almost the entire hour to repair. Just great.

Since I’d started dating Toby, I’d been paying more attention to how I looked. Not that he cared about that kind of thing. The guy probably would have said I was pretty in a clown suit-rainbow wig and all. But I felt this constant need to impress him. So I straightened my hair and pulled it into a high ponytail, put on a pair of silver clip-on earrings (I’m too chicken to get any piercings), and found the shirt Casey had given me for my seventeenth birthday. The silky material was white patterned with intricate silver designs, and it fit me tight in the chest, which made my itty-bitty boobies appear somewhat bigger.

It was almost eight o’clock by the time I struggled down the stairs in my platform wedge sandals, risking my safety for the sake of looking taller. I was careful to avert my eyes when I walked past the kitchen because Dad, obviously thinking the roses were from Toby, had put the bouquet in an antique vase on the dining table last night. It was a sweet gesture, but seeing the bright red flowers only brought back the annoying questions. So I stumbled into the living room and plopped down on the couch to wait for my date, promising myself that I’d figure out my romantic mess sometime over the weekend.

For lack of anything better to do, I picked up the copy of TV Guide that was lying on the coffee table and began scanning the program schedule. A yellow Post-it note wedged between the pages caught my attention, and I flipped to the section it was marking. Dad had highlighted a Family Ties marathon for the following Sunday night, using the little slip of paper as a bookmark. I smiled and pulled a pen out of my purse, scribbling, “I’ll make popcorn,” on the Post-it. Dad would see it when he got home from his meeting.

Just when I put the magazine back on the table, the doorbell rang. I stood up as quickly as I could without falling and walked over to the door, expecting to be greeted by a big undeserved Toby smile. But the smile that flashed in front of me, while sparkly and white, belonged to someone quite different.

“Mom?” I practically gasped the word, sounding like some chick in a soap opera who’s just learned her evil twin is still alive or something. Embarrassed, I cleared my throat and said, “What are you doing here? I thought you were in Tennessee.”

“I was, but I came to visit you, of course,” my mother replied, cocking her head to the side in her movie-star fashion. Her platinum blond hair was pulled into a neat clip at the back of her head, and she was wearing a red-and-black knee-length dress. Typical Mom.

“But it’s, like, a seven-hour drive,” I said.

“Oh, believe me, I know.” She sighed dramatically. “Seven and a half in bad traffic. So… are you going to invite me in or not?” I could tell by the way her hands twisted around the strap of her handbag that she was nervous to be back in this house.

“Um, yeah,” I said, stepping aside. “Come in. Sorry. But, uh, Dad’s not here.”

“I know.” She was looking around the living room in a way that made me feel anxious for her. She eyed the armchair and couch that had once belonged to her as if debating whether she was allowed to sit there now. “He has his AA meetings on Fridays. He told me.”

“You talked to him?” This was news to me. As far as I’d known, my parents had been avoiding contact since Mom’s reappearance last month.

“We’ve spoken on the phone twice.” She pulled her eyes away from the furniture and focused them on me. They felt like heavy weights on my shoulders. “Bianca, sweetie…” Her voice was soft and sad. Painful to hear. “Why didn’t you tell me he was drinking again?”

I shifted, trying to slide out from under her gaze. “I don’t know,” I mumbled. “I guess I just hoped it would pass. I didn’t want to worry you over nothing.”

“I understand, but Bianca, this is a serious issue,” she said. “You know that now, I hope. If it ever happens again, you don’t get to keep it to yourself. You have to tell me. Do you understand?”

I nodded.

“Good.” She sighed, looking immensely relieved. “Anyway, that’s not why I’m here.”

“Why are you here?”

“Because your dad also told me something else,” she teased. “Something about a boy named Toby Tucker.”

“You drove seven and a half hours because I have a date?”

“I have other reasons to be in Hamilton,” she said. “But this is the most important. So, is it true my baby has a boyfriend?”

“Um, yeah,” I said, shrugging. “I guess.”

“Well, tell me about him,” Mom urged, finally deciding to sit down on the sofa. “What’s he like?”

“He’s nice,” I said. “How’s Grandpa?”

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “He’s fine. What’s wrong? You’re taking your birth control, aren’t you?”

“God, Mother, yes,” I groaned. “That’s not the issue.”

“Thank the Lord. I’m too young and hot to be a nana.”

No kidding, I thought, remembering Vikki.

“Then, what’s the problem?” she pressed. “I came because I heard you had a hot date tonight, and I wanted to have that special Mommy moment. But if you’re having problems, I get to spill out some Mommy advice, too. It’s like a two-for-one visit, isn’t it? Makes the travel time worth it.”

“Thanks,” I grumbled.

“Oh, honey, I’m kidding. What’s wrong? What’s the matter with this boy?”

“Nothing. He’s absolutely perfect. He’s smart and nice and totally right for me. Only there’s another guy…” I shook my head. “It’s stupid. I’m being an idiot. I just need a little time to think things over. That’s all.”

“Well,” Mom said, standing up. “Just remember to do what makes you happy, okay? Don’t lie to yourself because you think it’s safer. Reality doesn’t work like that… I think I told you that before.”

She had.

But I’d been running for so long I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore.

“Though,” Mom continued. “I brought you a little something for your date, and it might help you out while you’re thinking everything over.”

I watched with mild horror as she pulled a pink-and-yellow box from her handbag. Any object that came wrapped in those colors couldn’t be a good thing. “What is it?” I asked as she placed the box in my outstretched hand.

“Open it and find out, silly.”

Sighing, I pulled the hideous bow off the box and flicked open the lid. Inside was a small silver chain with a little white metal charm in the shape of a B. Like the ones girls wear in middle school, as if they’ll forget their own name or something.

Mom reached forward and removed the necklace from the box. “I saw it and thought of you,” she said.

“Thanks, Mom.”

She put down her handbag and moved around to stand behind me, pushing my hair aside so that she could fasten the chain around my neck. “It’s gonna sound corny, so try not to roll your eyes at me, okay? But maybe this will help you remember who you are while you’re figuring things out.” She moved my hair back into place and stepped in front of me again. “Perfect,” she said. “You look wonderful, sweetie.”

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