Kody Keplinger: The DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend

“Jessica, that’s sweet.”

“That’s why I’m telling you this,” she went on. “I know Toby is nice and he likes you, but I don’t see a connection. I mean, I’m glad you’re spending time with me and Casey again, and I think it’s cool that he hangs out with us sometimes, but what I care about is that you’re happy. You might look happy, but I don’t think you are.” She took a deep breath and tugged at the hem of her floral-print skirt. “I don’t want to bring this up, but… I’ve heard some rumors about Wesley lately.”

I bit my lip. “Oh.”

“He hasn’t been as flirty lately,” she said. “I haven’t seen him with any girls, and I thought”-she looked at me with wide chocolate eyes-“I thought maybe you’d want to know. I mean, I know you have feelings for him, and-”

I shook my head. “No,” I said, “it’s not that simple.”

She nodded. “Okay,” she said. “I just thought I’d throw it out there. Sorry.”

I sighed and smiled, reaching out to take her hand and pulling her toward the English classroom. “It’s okay. I appreciate you being concerned-I really, really do. And you might be right… about me and Toby, I mean. But this is just high school. We’re only dating. It’s not like I’m looking for a husband or whatever. I don’t think you need to worry about me yet. I’m fine.”

“Casey says you’re usually lying when you say that,” Jessica informed me.

“She does, huh?”

I released Jessica’s hand as we walked into English class, determined to avoid answering her accusation. That proved to be pretty easy, really. I was able to feign distraction-well, it wasn’t entirely fake-when I noticed the folded piece of paper lying on my desk. I sat down and picked it up, assuming it was from Casey. Who else would be writing me a note?

But Casey always drew a smiley face over the i in my name, and the handwriting on the outside of this paper was small, cursive, and faceless.

Confused, I unfolded the paper and read the single sentence that was scrawled across the top.

Wesley Rush doesn’t chase girls, but I’m chasing you.

At one time, I thought being the Duff meant no boy drama. Clearly, I was wrong. How did this happen? How did I, the ugly girl, end up in the middle of a love triangle? I wasn’t a romantic. I didn’t really even want to date. But there I was, torn between two attractive guys that, by all means, I shouldn’t have had a shot with. (Trust me, not as glamorous as it sounds.)

On one side, I had Toby. Smart, cute, funny, polite, sensitive, and practical. Toby was perfect in every conceivable way. I mean, he was a little dorky, but that was what made him so adorable. I liked being with him, and he always put me first. He respected me and never seemed to lose his patience. There was absolutely nothing to complain about with Toby Tucker.

On the other side, there was Wesley. A jerk. An asshole. An arrogant, womanizing rich boy who put sex before everything else. Sure, he was incredibly hot, but he could annoy the hell out of me. He was irritatingly charming, and his cute little grin could really get under my skin. But he had a way of making my heart race and my head spin. I wasn’t afraid to be a bitch around him. I hated to admit it, but Wesley understood me. I felt like myself when I was with him, whereas I was always trying to hide my neuroses around Toby.

God, life had been so much easier when no one noticed me.

The note from Wesley weighed half a ton in my back pocket as I headed out to the student parking lot that afternoon. To say I was confused would have been a massive understatement. I mean, that single sentence left me with a million different questions, but there was one in particular:

Why the hell does Wesley want me?

Seriously. The guy had dozens of girls who would kill to be with him. Why me? Wasn’t he the one who had called me the Duff in the first place? What the fuck?

But when I got home, it just got worse.

On Toby’s suggestion, I’d started reading Wuthering Heights in my spare time. Honestly, the main characters pissed me off so much that it was hard to push through the book. I was considering putting it down for good that day, but a line of dialogue caught my attention.

“My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods. Time will change it, I’m well aware, as winter changes the trees-my love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath-a source of little visible delight, but necessary.”

As stupid as it sounds, that little excerpt really got in my head, like a song you hate but can’t stop singing. I tried to read on, but the words kept bouncing around in my brain. I turned back the page and read the lines again and again. I was trying to figure out why they bugged me so much when I was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

“Thank God,” I muttered, relieved to have a reason to slam the book shut. I jumped off my bed and ran downstairs. “Coming!” I yelled. “Just a second!”

I pulled open the front door, expecting to find Toby, who’d said he might drop by later. But the man on my front porch was a chubby redhead in his fifties. Definitely not my boyfriend. He wore a shabby green uniform and a hat that didn’t quite fit. The name tag on his jacket read JIMMY. He was holding a bouquet of flowers in his right hand and a clipboard was wedged under his arm.

“Are you Miss Bianca Piper?” he asked.

“Um… yeah.”

His squinty eyes lighted with a smile. “Sign this, please,” he said, giving me the clipboard and a pen. “Congratulations.”

“Er, thanks,” I said, handing the clipboard back to him.

He passed me the bouquet, which I now saw was full of real red roses, and produced a white envelope from his back pocket. “This is for you, too,” he said. “You’re a lucky girl. It’s not often I get to make a delivery like this to someone your age.” He smiled. “Young love.”

Young love? God, I had to fight the urge to correct him. To give him my long speech about how teenagers don’t fall in love. But he was still talking.

“Your boyfriend must really be a keeper. Not many boys are so thoughtful at that age.”

I stared down at the roses and said, “You’re probably right.” Was Toby still trying to cheer me up? God, he was so nice. Too bad I didn’t deserve all of the kindness.

After thanking the delivery guy, I closed the door. I felt guilty for considering my situation a love triangle. It was just me and Toby, and Wesley danced along the outskirts, far away from us… or that’s how it should have been. That’s how Toby deserved for it to be.

I put the bouquet on the kitchen table and opened the envelope, expecting to find a sappy but perfectly worded letter from my flawless boyfriend. It was the kind of thing I’d normally scoff at, but I’d let Toby get away with it. He really did have a way with words sometimes. That would help when he became a famous politician.

But the handwriting on the letter was the same as the note in my back pocket. This time, however, there was much more to absorb.

Bianca,

Since you keep running away from me at school, and, if I remember correctly, the sound of my voice causes you to have suicidal thoughts, I decided a letter might be the best way to tell you how I feel. Just hear me out.

I’m not going to deny that you were right. Everything you said the other day was true. But my fear of being alone is not the reason I’m pursuing you. I know how cynical you are, and you’re probably going to come up with some snarky reply when you read this, but the truth is, I’m chasing you because I really think I am falling in love with you.

You are the first girl who has ever seen right through me. You’re the only girl who has ever called me on my bullshit. You put me in my place, but, at the same time, you understand me better than anyone ever has. You are the only person brave enough to criticize me. Maybe the only person who looks close enough to find my faults-and, clearly, you’ve found many.