Melanie Gideon - Wife 22

7:30: In Nedra’s living room

Nedra:I hate to say it, but I knew the twin master suites were the beginning of the end.

Bobby:I want to get high. I deserve to get high. Do you have any pot, Nedra? Alice, you don’t have to sit so far away. Divorce is not contagious.

Nedra:Actually, you’re wrong. Divorce is a sort of contagion. I see it all the time. A man comes in looking for representation and then a few weeks later another man comes in, a friend of the first man, just wanting to know his rights and all, but just in case, he’s brought along a comprehensive list of all the marital assets, the last three years of income tax returns, and a recent pay stub. Alice, you stay right where you are.

Bobby( starting to cry ): She wants to move to New York to be closer to the kids.

Nedra( getting up ): Bloody hell. Hold on.

Me( sitting next to him on the couch ): Don’t cry, Bobby B.

Bobby:I love it when you call me that. You’re such a nice woman. Why didn’t I marry you ?

Me:I’m no prize, believe me.

Bobby:I’ve always envied William.

Me:You have?

Bobby:Even after twenty years together, the two of you are still so connected.

Me:We are?

Bobby:It used to drive Linda crazy. She thought you guys were faking it. I told her you can’t fake passion like that.

Nedra( walking back into the room, holding a joint ): Success!

Me:Jude smokes?

Nedra( lighting the joint and inhaling ): Of course not. It’s mine.

Me: You have your own supply?

Nedra( handing the joint to Bobby ): Here you go, darling. It’s the good stuff. Very clean. I have a medical condition.

Me:What’s your medical condition?

Bobby( taking a big toke, and then another and then another ): Oh, Jesus, that’s good.

Nedra:You don’t believe me?

Me:No, Nedra, I don’t.

Nedra:It’s in the DSM . It’s an actual disorder.

Me:What’s it called?

Nedra:Middle age.

Bobby( coughing ): I have that, too.

Nedra:There’s only one known cure.

Bobby:What’s that?

Nedra:Old age.

Bobby( cackling ): Is it the Mary Jane, or is Nedra suddenly really funny?

Me: Mary Jane? Just how old are you, Bobby B?

Nedra( inhaling deeply, then looking at the joint ): I’m getting married. Can you believe it? Me? A bride?

Bobby:Will you represent me in the divorce?

Nedra:I wish I could, darling. But I know the both of you. It wouldn’t be fair. I can recommend somebody very good.

Zoe( walking into the living room with Jude ): Quick, get the camera so we can take pictures of them and they’ll be so embarrassed and horrified they’ll never touch the stuff again.

Me:Oh, my God, Zoe! What are you doing here? I am not smoking, for your information. I haven’t taken one hit.

Nedra:This is very rude of you. To just walk in on us and invade our privacy. I thought you went to the movies.

Jude:Do you think this is a rave?

Zoe:You do realize pot is much stronger these days than it was when you were growing up?

Jude:Frequently it’s dipped in embalming fluid.

Zoe:One puff could trigger schizophrenia.

Nedra:In a teenage brain-with an unconnected frontal lobe. Our frontal lobes have been connected for decades now.

Bobby:Blame it on me.

Nedra:Blame it on Linda.

Jude( reaching for his guitar ): Well, since you’re all high and everything, would you like to hear a song?

Me:I’m not high. And I would. I would really like to hear a song, Jude.

Zoe( blushing ): It’s called “Even Though.”

Bobby:Hold on. I have to lie on the carpet for this.

Me:Me, too.

Nedra:Move over.

Me:I feel like I’m in high school.

Bobby( starting to cry again, softly ): There’s something about being stoned and lying on the floor.

Me( reaching for Bobby’s hand )

Nedra( reaching for Bobby’s other hand )

Jude( strumming the guitar, looking at Zoe ): I wrote it for Zoe.

Bobby( moaning ): Ohhh!

Jude:Is he okay? Should I stop?

Bobby( clutching his heart ): Ahhhh!

Jude:What? What is it?

Nedra:He means play, darling. He means the world needs more love songs. He means bonne chance and glück und den besten wünschen and buona fortuna . He means “how wonderful it is to be young.”

Bobby( sobbing ): That’s exactly what I mean. How did you know?

Me:Nedra is fluent in moans.

From: Helen Davies ‹helendavies@D &DAdvertising.com›

Subject: Re: A voice from the past…

Date: August 15, 3:01 PM

To: Alice Buckle ‹alicebuckle@rocketmail.com›

Alice,

I knew I was in trouble the day you interviewed for the job at Peavey Patterson. I’m sure you aren’t aware of this, as you practically ran out of William’s office that day, but he watched you go. It was involuntary. He couldn’t help himself. He stood in his doorway and watched you walk down the corridor. Then he watched you stand by the elevators, nervously punching the down button over and over again. And then, even when you were gone, he still stood there in the doorway. You knew each other even before you knew each other. That was the look on his face the day he interviewed you. Recognition. I didn’t stand a chance.

As far as the position, even though William is certainly qualified, I’m not sure I can help. Give me a few days to think about it. I assume you don’t want to move to Boston. And I assume he doesn’t know that you’ve applied for him and you’d like to keep it that way. He’s always been a proud man.

Apology accepted.

HD

“I took the job,” says William.

“What job?”

“The direct mail job, Alice. What other job would I be talking about?”

It’s been two days since I got the email from Helen, and-nothing.

“But we didn’t talk about it.”

“What’s there to talk about? We’re both out of work. We need the income, not to mention the benefits. It’s done. To be honest, I feel relieved.”

“But I just thought-”

“No. Don’t say anything else. It’s the right thing to do.” He leans back against the kitchen counter, his hands jammed in his pockets, and nods at me.

“I know. I know it is. It’s really great, William. Congratulations. So when do you start?”

William turns around and opens the cupboard. “Monday. So, interesting news. Kelly Cho was let go from KKM.”

“She was let go? What happened?”