Melanie Gideon - Wife 22

William makes a strange sound in the back of his throat. “You did it for you. Admit it.”

I begin to shake. The tiniest little bit.

“Come here, Alice.”

I hesitate.

“ Now ,” he whispers.

We proceed to have the hottest sex we’ve had in months.

58. Planet of the Apes.

59.Not much. Well, hardly ever. I don’t really see the point. We have to live with each other, so what’s the use and honestly, who’s got the energy? We used to, in the early years. Our biggest argument happened before we were even married, and it was over me wanting to invite Helen to the wedding. I told him it would be a nice conciliatory gesture-she probably wouldn’t come, but inviting her was the right thing to do, especially since we were inviting almost all of our colleagues from Peavey Patterson. When he told me he had no intention of inviting a woman who called me a whore (and who seemed to hate him vehemently) to his wedding, I reminded him that technically I was the other woman when she called me that name, and could we blame her for hating us? Wasn’t it time to forgive and forget? After I said that, he told me I could afford to be generous because I’d won. Well, that so infuriated me that I took off my engagement ring and threw it out the window.

Now, this wasn’t a ring from Zales, this was my mother’s engagement ring that had been in her family for years, brought over by her mother from Ireland. It wasn’t worth much-it was one small diamond flanked by two tiny emeralds. What was priceless about the ring was its history and the fact that my father had given it to William to give to me. There was an engraving inside the band. Something terribly sweet, probably bordering on saccharine, that I can’t recall. All I can remember is the word “heart.”

The problem was we were in the car when I threw the ring out of the window. We had just left my father’s house and were driving past the park in Brockton when William made the comment about me having won . I just wanted to scare him. I hurled the ring out the window into the park and we proceeded to speed by, both of us in shock. We drove back and tried to pinpoint the spot where I had thrown it, but even though we searched through the grass methodically we couldn’t find it. I was devastated. Each of us secretly blamed the other. He blamed me, of course, for throwing the ring. I blamed him for being so coldhearted. The loss of the ring deeply unsettled both of us. Losing, or in my case, throwing away, something so priceless before we had even started our lives together-was this a bad omen?

I couldn’t bear to tell my father the truth, so we lied and told him our apartment was robbed and the ring stolen. We even planned what to say if he asked why I hadn’t been wearing it at the time. I took it off because I was giving myself a facial and didn’t want to get the green gunk caught in the delicate filigree setting, which I would then have to root out with a toothpick or a dental probe. I have since learned that when lying, it’s best not to offer up any details. It’s the details that do you in.

60.“Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.”

61.Long, tapered fingers. Big palms. Cuticles that never needed to be pushed back. Chet Baker on the tape player. He was cutting peppers for the salad. I looked at those hands and thought, I am going to have this man’s children.

62.What would you do if you ever stopped communicating? I wrote “That would NEVER EVER happen. William and I talk about everything. That won’t be our problem.” And no, it does not hold true today.

63.In the backyard of my cousin Henry’s apartment in the North End, which overlooked Boston Harbor. It was in the evening. The air smelled of the sea and garlic. Our wedding bands were simple and plain, which felt right after the engagement ring debacle. If my father was upset about the ring, he didn’t say anything. In fact, he said very little that night, he was so overcome with emotion. Every five minutes or so before the ceremony started he would clasp my shoulders vigorously and nod. When it was time to give me away, he walked me to the arbor, lifted my veil, and kissed me on the cheek. “Off you go, honey,” he said, and that’s when I began to cry. I proceeded to cry through the entire ceremony, which understandably threw William off. “It’s all right,” he kept mouthing to me while the priest did his part. “I know,” I kept mouthing back to him. I wasn’t crying because I was getting married, I was crying because my history with my father had come down to those four, perfectly chosen words. He could only say something that appeared to be so mundane precisely because our life together had been the opposite.

Did u read article advising everybody eat more cheese, Alice?

Why you ignore my texts, Alice?

HonE?

Sorry Dad. End of the school year. 2 busy 2 text. 2 busy to read. 2 busy to eat.

I worry u not eating enuf cheese. Women yr age need protein and calcium. Hope you not turn vegan out there Cali.

Trust me. U needn’t worry about my cheese intake.

News. Think might B falling in love.

What??? With who??

Conchita.

Conchita Martinez, our neighbor Conchita whose son Jeff I dated and then dumped my senior year?

Yes! That the one. She remember you fondly. Jeff, no so much. He harbor long grudge.

Why you sound like Indian in The Great Sioux Uprising ? Are u spending a lot of time together?

Ever night. Hr house or mine. Mostly mine due to fact Jeff still live at home. Loser.

Oh, Dad-so happy for u.

Happy u, too. U hippily married all these years. Very proud. All turned out okay, for us, but do me favor-eat wheel of Brie today. Afraid u will collapse. U delicate flower u.

John Yossarian

Speaking plainly is underrated.

23 minutes ago

Okay, I’m worried that I’m becoming a problem for you, Researcher 101.

How so, Wife 22?

I’m not offending you enough.

I can’t disagree with that.

Fine. I’ll do my best to offend you more in the future because according to antonym.com pleasure is the opposite of offense, and I wouldn’t inadvertently want to give you pleasure.

One cannot be held responsible for the way one is received.

To give you pleasure was never my intention.

Is this your idea of speaking plainly, Wife 22?

You know it’s strange. The way our conversations go on and on. It’s like a river. We just keep jumping in and diving under the water. When we surface we may find we’ve drifted miles from where we were last time we spoke but it doesn’t matter. It’s still the same river. I tap you on the shoulder. You turn around. You call out. I answer.

I’m sorry you lost your engagement ring. It sounds like a very traumatic event. Did you ever tell your father the truth?

No, and I’ve always regretted it.

Why not tell him now?

Too many years have passed. What’s the point? It will just upset him.

Did you know that according to synonym.net, the definition of problem is a state of difficulty that needs to be resolved.