Melanie Gideon - Wife 22

KED3 (Kentwood Elementary Third Grade Drama Parents’ Forum) Digest #129

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Messages in this digest (5)

1. Was it fair of Alice Buckle to give the geese no lines?Weigh in, people! Posted by: Queenbeebeebee

2. RE: Was it fair of Alice Buckle to give the geese no lines?Look, I know this will likely be an unpopular position, but I’m just going to come right out and say it. It’s not realistic to think that every kid in the play will have a line. It’s just not possible. Not with thirty kids in the class. Some years your kids will get lucky and get a good role. And some years they won’t. It all balances out in the end. Posted by: Farmymommy

3. RE: Was it fair of Alice Buckle to give the geese no lines?No! It’s not fair. And it doesn’t all balance out. Alice Buckle is a hypocrite! Do you think she ever cast her children as geese? I think not and I can prove it. I have all the school play programs dating back ten years. Her daughter Zoe was Mrs. Squash, Narrator #1, Lion Tamer with Arm in Cast and Lazy Bee. Her son Peter was Fractious Elf, Slightly Overweight Troll, Bovine Buffoon (everybody wanted that role) and Walnut. Alice Buckle has just gotten lazy. How hard can it be to make sure each child has at least one line? Perhaps Mrs. Buckle has been teaching drama for too long. Perhaps she should think of retiring. Posted by: Helicopmama

4. RE: Was it fair of Alice Buckle to give the geese no lines?I have to agree with Helicopmama. Something is very off with Mrs. Buckle. Shouldn’t she be keeping track of each class? The plays they’ve done and the roles each kid has performed over the years? That way she could make sure everything was equitable. If your child had a one-line role last year, well, then this year they should have a lead. And if they have no lines-well, don’t even get me started. That is simply unacceptable. My daughter is heartbroken. Heartbroken. Posted by: Storminnormandy

5. RE: Was it fair of Alice Buckle to give the geese no lines?May I make an observation? I’m pretty sure that how many lines your child has in his or her third-grade play will have no bearing on his future. Absolutely none. And if, in fact, I’m wrong, and it does, I would ask you this: consider the possibility that a small role might be a good thing. Perhaps those children who had only one-line roles (or perhaps, no lines at all) will end up with higher self-esteem. Why? Because they will have learned from an early age to deal with disappointment and to make the best of a situation and to not quit or throw a tantrum when something doesn’t go their way. There are plenty of things going on in this world right now that are worthy of being heartbroken over. The third-grade play is not one of them. Posted by: Davidmametlurve182

54.“Hi, Mama,” she shouted cheerfully, when we pulled up to the curb. It was nearly midnight, and William and I were picking her up from the last dance of the school year.

She stuck her head in my window and giggled. “Can we give Jew a ride home?”

“Who?” I said.

“Jew!”

“Jude,” interpreted William. “Goddammit, she’s wasted.”

William quickly rolled the car windows up, just seconds before she threw up on the passenger-seat door.

“Got your phone?” asked William.

We knew this moment would come, we had discussed our plan, and now we sprung into action. I bolted out of the car, my iPhone in hand, and started taking photos. I got some classic shots. Zoe, leaning against the car door, her fleur-de-lys crinoline splattered in vomit. Zoe, climbing into the backseat, shoeless, her sweaty hair stuck to the back of her neck. Zoe on the drive home, her head lolling on the seat; her mouth wide open. And the saddest one: her father carrying her into the house.

We had gotten this advice from friends. When she got wasted-and she would get wasted, it wasn’t a matter of if , but when -we should document the whole thing because she’d be too drunk to remember any of the details.

It may sound hard core but it worked. The next morning when we showed her the photos she was so horrified that, to the best of my knowledge, she hasn’t ever gotten drunk again.

55.I had William all wrong. He wasn’t some blue-blood, entitled, silver-spoon, Ivy League elitist. Everything he had he’d worked his ass off for, including a full scholarship to Yale.

“Beer?” his father, Hal, said to me, holding the refrigerator door open.

“Would you like Bud Light, Bud Light, or Bud Light?” asked William.

“I’ll take a Bud Light,” I said.

“I like her,” said Hal. “The last one drank water. No ice.” Hal gave me a huge grin. “Helen. She didn’t stand a chance once you came into the picture, right, slim? You don’t mind if I call you slim?”

“Only if you called Helen that, too.”

“Helen was not slim. Zaftig, maybe.”

I was in love with Hal already.

“I see where William gets his charm.”

“William is lots of things,” said Hal. “Driven, ambitious, smart, arrogant, but charming he is not.”

“I’m working on that,” I said.

“What are you making for dinner?” asked Hal.

“Beef stroganoff,” said William, unpacking the bag of groceries we’d brought.

“My favorite,” said Hal. “I’m sorry Fiona couldn’t make it.”

“Don’t apologize for Mom. It’s not your fault,” said William.

“She wanted to come,” said Hal.

“Right,” said William.

William’s parents divorced when he was ten and his mother, Fiona, very quickly remarried a man with two other children. Hal and Fiona had a split custody agreement at first, but by the time William was twelve he was living with his dad full-time. William and Fiona weren’t close and he saw her infrequently, on holidays and special occasions. Another surprise. Both of us un-mothered.

56.I saved you an egg.

57.Don’t worry. I’ll take care of that.

John Yossarian changed his profile picture

So cute, Researcher 101! What’s her name?

I’m sorry but I can’t divulge that information.

Okay. Can you divulge what you like most about her?

Him. The way he touches his cold nose to my hand at six every morning. Just once. Then sits at attention by the side of the bed waiting patiently for me to wake.

So sweet-what else?

Well, right now he’s pushing his snout under my arm as I attempt to chat with yousdfsfd. Sorry. He gets jealous when I’m on the computer.

You’re very lucky. He sounds like a dream dog.

Oh, he is.

I do not have a dream dog. In fact, our dog is so ill behaved my husband wants to give him away.

It can’t be that bad.

He peed on my husband’s pillow. I’m afraid to have guests come over.

You should do some training.

Training is not the issue.

Of your husband.

Ha!

I’m not kidding. Loving an animal doesn’t come naturally to everybody. Some people have to be taught.

I don’t agree. You shouldn’t have to teach love.