Melanie Gideon - Wife 22

“That doesn’t mean she’s throwing up. She probably doesn’t like people to hear her pee. I’ve been watching her. She’s not a puker. I don’t think she’s bingeing on Yodels, I really don’t, Alice. She just doesn’t fit the profile.”

I give Caroline a hug. I love having her here. She’s smart, funny, brave, creative, and kind: exactly the sort of young woman I hope Zoe will grow up to be.

“Ever had a Yodel?” I ask.

Caroline shakes her head. Of course she hasn’t.

I toss her one.

“I’ll save it for later,” says Caroline, frowning at the packaging.

“Give it back. I know you’re not going to eat it.”

Caroline wrinkles her nose. “You’re right, I’m not going to eat it, but my mother will-you know how she loves junk food. She and my dad are coming to visit. Yodels have no expiration date, right?”

“Bunny’s coming to Oakland?”

“We spoke this morning. They just decided.”

“Where are they staying?”

“I think they’re planning on renting a house.”

“Absolutely not. That’s too expensive. They can stay here. You can sleep in Zoe’s room and they can have the guest room.”

“Oh, no, she won’t want to impose. You’re already putting me up.”

“It’s no imposition. Actually, it’s selfish on my part-I want to see her.”

“But don’t you need to ask William first?”

“William will be fine with it, I promise.”

“Okay. Well, if you’re sure, I’ll tell her. She’d love that. So Alice, I had a thought. What about if you and I went running? We could do it secretly. Take it slowly. Run at your pace. And eventually get you to the point where you and William could run together again.”

“I don’t think William is interested in running with me.”

“You’re wrong. He misses you.”

“He told you that?”

“No, but I can tell. He talks about you all the time when we’re running.”

“You mean he’s complaining.”

“No! He just talks about you. Stuff you’ve said.”

“ Really ?”

Caroline nods.

“Well-that’s nice, I guess.”

Actually, it irritates me. Why can’t William act like he misses me to my face?

I take the Yodel out of Caroline’s hands. “Your mother’s favorite is Sno Balls.”

I can just see Bunny sitting in the back of the Blue Hill Theater, peeling the pink marshmallow skin off the chocolate cake while instructing an actor to go deeeeeeper. There’s something about the theater and simple carbohydrates.

“When I was a kid these used to come wrapped in foil,” I say. “Packaged up like it was a surprise. A gift that you didn’t know was coming.”

Like the Yodel, Bunny’s visit feels like fate.

Three days later, summer officially arrives. The kids are out of school and I am, too. Because of our finances we’re not doing much of anything this summer (except going on a camping trip to the Sierras in a few weeks). Everybody will be home all the time, except Caroline, who scored a part-time intern position at Tipi.

I take Caroline up on her offer to train with me and am now standing in the middle of the street, panting, bent over like an old lady, my hands on my knees, deeply regretting my decision.

“That’s a twelve-minute mile,” says Caroline, looking at her watch. “Good, Alice.”

“Twelve minutes? That’s pathetic. I can walk faster,” I gasp. “Tell me again why we’re doing this.”

“Because you’ll feel great afterwards.”

“And during I’ll feel like dying and curse the day I ever let you come stay with us?”

“That’s about right,” she says, bouncing on her toes. “Come on, keep moving. You don’t want the lactic acid building up in your calves.”

“No, noooo lactic acid for me. Just give me a second to catch my breath.”

Caroline squints distractedly into the distance.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Nothing,” she says.

“Are you looking forward to your parents coming?”

Caroline shrugs.

“Did you tell Bunny about Tipi?”

“Uh-huh.” Caroline does a quick stretch and then takes off at a trot. I groan and stagger after her. She spins around and runs backwards. “William told me you used to run a nine-minute mile. We’ll get you back there again. Pump your arms. No, not like a chicken, Alice. Tucked under your shoulders.”

I catch up to her, and after a few minutes she looks at her watch and frowns. “Do you mind if I sprint the last quarter mile?”

“Go, go,” I huff, waving her away.

As soon as she’s out of sight, I slow to a walk and take out my cell. I click on the Facebook app.

Kelly Cho

Thanks for the add, Alice!

5 minutes ago

Nedra Rao

Prenups, people. Prenups!!

10 minutes ago

Bobby Barbedian

Robert Bly says it’s all right if you grow your wings on the way down.

2 hours ago

Pat Guardia

Is dreaming of Tita’s lumpia. Hint-hint.

4 hours ago

Phil Archer

I read my daily fortune cookie!

The sensitivity you show to others will return to you.

5 hours ago

Boring. Nothing exciting.

Then I check Lucy Pevensie’s account.

John Yossarian

Likes barmaids.

5 hours ago

I give a little squeal.

John Yossarian

Why not?

1 hour ago

Okay I’m just going to ask. Are you flirting with me, Researcher 101?

I don’t know. Are you flirting with me?

Let me be the researcher for once. Answer my question.

Yes.

You should probably stop.

Really?

No.

F ESTIVE S WEDISH P OTLUCK AT N EDRA’S H OUSE

7:30: Standing in Nedra’s kitchen

Me:Here’s the meatballs!

Nedra( peeling back the aluminum foil and making a face ) :Are these homemade?

Me:And here’s the lingonberry jam to go with them.

Nedra: Now I understand why you chose Swedish. Because you ran out of cheap candles. Alice, the whole point of these internationally themed potlucks is to step outside our comfort zones and make new foods, not buy them at Ikea.

William: Blåbärsplåt ( handing her a casserole dish ).

Nedra( peeling back the aluminum foil, her face aglow with delight ) :You brought something, too?

William:I made it. It’s a traditional Swedish delicacy.

Nedra:William, darling, I’m so impressed. Alice, put the lingonberry jam on the table, will you? The Styrofoam cup is a nice touch, by the way.

7:48: Still standing in the kitchen

Linda:Wait until you have to move your kid to college. It’s like childbirth, or marriage; nobody tells you the truth about how hard it is.

Kate:Come on, it can’t be that bad.

Bobby:Did we tell you the twin master suites are finished?

Linda:First I had to get up at five in the morning to log on to get Daniel’s scheduled move-in time. It’s first come first served, and everybody wants the 7-to-9 a.m. slot. If you don’t get that slot you’re screwed.