Jáchym Topol - City, Sister, Silver

And after one brilliant play I fine-tuned the plot: Černá! I had a dream. That’s not how it was in reality, see, it’s true Ulysses slaughtered those suitors when he got home, but that was only cause … they were younger an better-lookin an richer than him, he was gettin to be an old dog … an they were just boys, don’t gimme that look! That’s all he did in those islands anyway, was kill an plunder, plus charm Circe an take over her pig byznys … so he comes home to his castle an Penelope’s there waiting faithfully, like a good wife … but Ulysses bursts in an says: Sorry. You’ve waited faithfully an long. I was off fightin, I’m a man. That’s why you wanted me, right? Sorry, though, you’re gettin old now. So I brought back this splendid sixteen-year-old slave girl. Girl! Lift your arms over your head, turn around. See those breasts, Penelope, see that ass? See that mane, see how her hair shines? See those teeth? Does it remind you of anything? That’s right, that’s how you used to be, Penelope. Ages ago. It doesn’t bother you that I’m bein frank, does it? I am a man, you know. Do you know how many enemies I crushed an songs I wrote on my travels? That’s why you wanted me. I met this one, Penelope, an now she’s here! She’s the one I’ve had under my eyelids all my life, you just wandered into my path. That’s the way it is. Sorry, Penelope, it’s been nice. Now … get out.

Černá put her shades on. Are you hungry, friend?

Yeah.

Unfortunately all I’ve got is a little dried-out piece of … mortadella. An coffee. Just black though. How bout it?

Okay.

Maybe you oughta try a little more, you’re always bullshittin … what about comin up with a happy ending for once, I know it’s hard, are you scared?

Yeah. A little bit, yeah.

There was one thing I couldn’t stand. When she put on her shades, I’d lose her eyes. Think it was somebody else under there. I’d known her eyes as green, now more often they were speckled brown. Maybe it depended on the light, on whether we had candles or a lamp, or if it was daytime. I never did find out. But then she started wearin her shades to bed even. I told her I didn’t want her to. She just laughed. Trust me … it’s good for you too … not to see for a while.

I focused so much on her body and her breathing that sometimes I didn’t notice her eyes. We also tried a mask, and sometimes I put a pillow or a pillowcase over her face. I guess there really are times when you wanna be alone. Just you an your grimaces. It’s impossible to smile all the time.

But in my heart there was love. I kept it locked inside. That’s the way it was. With her I was in reality. I know it.

Sometimes … it got in there. I came home from a foray, Smoothy’s crap ringin in my ears still, and she had the radio on. First the announcer spoke about India, then took Pakistan, dipped into Iran, cut across the north back down toward the south and then said a thing or two about Egypt, took it all in one fell swoop, didn’t even leave out Libya, he didn’t leave out a thing, bet he had to loosen his tie. I opened the window and looked at the street. The hustle and bustle. Some tanker of something drove by. It was yellow.

What’s up, said Sister after a while.

Nothin, I don’t think I can take it anymore. Nothin’s goin on at all … notice all the natural catastrophes lately though?

There’s also nice things.

Like what?

The air hardened in my ears like chunks of basalt.

Hey, hey, stop talkin, have yourself a glass a wine, have a smoke, come over here, be with me, hop to it.

I noticed she had a new … I guess T-shirt. Nothin on her shoulders, just these thin little strings … it was white. An besides, she was right.

But then she started throwing up bile. All I could do was hold her head. And that night, before Hunter got in the car … she didn’t want to go to the sea with me.

We stood on a path in the woods. I gave it a shot. Fidgeting like I was nervous, I told Smoothy: My work’s finished. I’m goin. Let me go. Smoothy threw up his hands. Why, my dear esteemed Mr. Potok, that is out of the question! Think what you like, but Oriental hospitality is an important factor here. Now we are going to walk through the forest, the general first, then our new friend, and after them you. After you will be me, and my dear Mr. Potok … I sorely beg you … try to understand … it would be best if we also arrive in that order, yes?

Yeah right. At that moment I despised … Hunter. That time on the street, him jabbin that bamboo stick around with me at his side … that was different … now he had a mission. But I’m no commissar.

He walked past like he didn’t even see me. We followed the path through the woods, crooked trees all around, then we came to a swamp, I watched the worms’ bizarre little trails in the puddles … unnamable creatures, it’s nonsense what they call em in labs … Hunter stopped as we entered a gully. A tree trunk lay across the path. The tank driver and Smoothy went runnin up and started wrasslin around with it … but didn’t take their eyes off me, it was ridiculous! The tree’s roots were tangled up, they didn’t spot the little snarl of nettles. I freed it all up and rocked the tree off the path. Hunter gave the nod and we moved on. The tank driver tried to take a shortcut and sank into the swamp … just up to his knees, but he got pretty freaked … as we walked on, Smoothy couldn’t hold back and started rattlin on again, I would’ve rather listened to the birds, why put up with human conversation right to the end …

Mr. Potok, a very interesting cultural dissimilarity, did you know that in our country people never go for walks? Most of their time they spend seeking food. Perhaps poets and philosophers once did, but they have all been reeducated now … one does not walk in the forest in our country, the forest there is different, can you believe it? You can only go in with a tiger club … of course I am joking! Can you believe it? My friend here, who so imprudently strayed from the path just now, has traveled dozens of kilometers through the most dangerous jungle on earth. He escaped from the camp and headed for Thailand, truly he is something special … if only he knew how to write, he could publish a comparative study, here is a man who survived a reeducation camp in his homeland, then another one next door in Laos, and then, consider this, the Khmers spent several years making him into a new man … and he survived, even though no one expected it of him. Such a comparative study would be extremely interesting, he emerged from the jungle unscathed and hiked into Thailand, where he survived several refugee camps, and when he was hungry, he admitted, he …

Guess that’s what got Paulina, huh?

Your cynicism, Mr. Potok, is entirely out of place. I am showing you a phenomenon here … compare, if you will … the gentleman ahead of you is quite probably the only human on earth to have completed such a journey, and yet he sinks into the mud at the first silly little European forest he comes to, no snakes, no mines … no people, apart from us, naturally. Of course we are all friends.

Oh yeah, it was obvious what kinda friendship he’d show me if I were to start skippin even just a little bit indiscreetly. One minute I wanted to whimper, the next I felt calm. One childish self of mine refused to believe after all we’d been through that they could just … in cold blood … but I know people with a mission are the worst of all. Commissars. They’ve rid themselves of choice.

We walked through the woods for about an hour, and I’ve never felt a forest so much. Out of habit, I guess, I examined it, remembering it, putting it inside me. There were moments I felt like it knew. Like it was friendly to me. The men around me, our paths intertwined … but their souls were filled with vines and snakes and orchids … maybe they had the dragon, but in my cells I’ve got the bear … the pine … those swampy pools of theirs’re different, they donno a thing about cuttin through lilac and steerin clear of blackberry bushes. I was on my home turf, that consoled me a little. In spite of everything. When it came to this forest trail, this path, they didn’t know a thing. They didn’t feel what I did. Then Hunter came to a stop.