William Gaddis - J R

Plunk. — Man like hum… plunka plunka…

— Listen man I have to call about this job will you, I mean I don’t believe it. Hello…? He’s not here what do you want… Look when some chick calls him I… so like what’s the matter with this Mister Wiles can’t he dial the… hello? Man like I just told your secretary Mister Bast isn’t here what… who? What president man, I mean don’t put me… what of his company? You mean here in this… man like how do I know his position on bellies I mean look Mister Wiles you and him must really be… Look man I don’t know about some voting trust taking over like I mean if this commodity exchange has you against the wall and you expect to get this margin money here man? I mean look I just talked to this… no I mean just go to the bank like everybody else does man, like I mean they just tried to put me on the same way you are I mean like go look in their fucking bank vault man that’s what banks… oh wow. I mean are these people rude, man.

— Man like hum… plunka plunka — hum, man…

— Like where’s that telephone number I have to call man… she braced a foot coming down — like I knew I got these pants too tight… she reached the sagging denims down from the dishcloth rack, sank to 24–12 Oz Btls Fragile! to tug at a clasp — I mean look at that, like I hardly get them and it rips right out I mean they make everything now like they don’t give a… she freed a foot from plaid, — man like I don’t believe this fucking telephone… and she was up on a bared knee — hello…? Look man who are you calling… no like this is his number but he’s not here, what… who? What company spokesman look man if… no look I mean you said you’re this newspaper what are you asking me for, go look in… So they’re setting off these four twenty kilotons to release this natural gas I mean what am I supposed to… Man I mean you’re the one who just said they rushed this AEC approval through to beat these envirementalists’ injunction I mean what are you ask… No man I mean look, I mean you don’t give news to newspapers you get news out of newspapers like I mean that’s what newspapers are man, like I mean if you’re this newspaper and you want to know if some underground explosion is dangerous I mean go read your fucking newspap…

— What in, what Tom? are you…

— Man like are you kidding? I mean like what’s the difference if the whole fucking state blows up who would even miss it…

— What the hell is this… he brought a newspaper bundle to the floor with him getting through, faced the expanse bared of plaid where she’d turned reaching up with the telephone. — God damn it what’s all this doing here.

— Man like it was there when we came in, I mean…

He got two cartons up balancing a shoebox, — never occurred to you to, wait what do you mean we.

Plunk.

— Like just Al and his group man they came up to rehearse…

Plunka plunka plunka plunka

— Mmmmmmmmmm…

— Good Christ no… he came bumping the cartons past tub and 200 2-Ply — what the hell is…

— Man I just told you like when the rest of the group comes…

— Mmm mmm mmm mmm…

Plunkaplunkaplunkaplunka…

— Jesus Christ listen this can’t, well God damn it! he was down picking up a red mitten, paperclips, marionette in a tangle of strings — when the rest of who comes look God damn it…

— There’s only like two more of them man, they…

He got the broken music box, car without wheels, a three legged sheep — look Al I’m working up here… a purple crayon, the Virgin one arm spread in mild surprise at the loss of the other, an arm cocking a bugle — now God damn it can you understand that Al?

Plunk. — Man like go ahead I mean I’m for everybody doing what they want to do man… plunka plunka — I mean that’s how it ought to be everybody doing their own…

— Tell you something Al, if I did what I want to do right now you’d go out of here in a God damned sack. Now get this one up off the…

— Man look I mean he’s having this identity crisis man don’t hassle him…

— Great, all for him doing what he wants to too just tell him to go have it someplace wait, here God damn it give me that…

— Man like let him keep it what is it, I mean…

— It’s a Wide Man what the hell does it look damn it let go of it! he twisted a turbaned figure clutching a casket from the desperate grasp — bring them up Christmas Eve I’ll tell them the story of Baby Jeeter and the Three Wide Men right now just get them both the hell out of here… he followed her hitching gait as far as the tub where she stopped to finally free the other leg, followed the flap of sandals to the door where he dragged in a bundle of newspapers.

— Man like how did we know you’ll still be here this morning… She balled the denim under an arm, shook the plaid legs out their full length — I mean like Bast he didn’t come back yet?

The newspaper bundle cleared QUICK QUAKER to slide off and settle among lampshades and he turned to drag in a carton, — last I heard he was in Ohio…

— Oh wow. I mean like where’s that. She held up the plaids — like I got him these bigger pants but I mean you really need them man. I mean like what happened.

He heaved the carton up past , dragged two more in past the sink — what do you mean what happened.

— I mean you ought to see yourself man, like I mean once they gave Al this kidney test where he pissed purple right down the front of your pants and this black all over your face I mean you look like you didn’t even shave since I saw you…

— Wash and shave as soon as I get these God damned boxes in been moving boxes around this God damned place since I…

— Man look out you busted the, don’t throw it!

— Where in, what the hell…

— What does it look like I mean it’s about a million book matches, I mean I just told you it’s busted don’t try and throw it didn’t I? Now look what you did you got them dumped all over the…

— All right! look just get the corner there and push it in will you? Who the hell’s sending a case of matchbooks…

— Man like who the hell’s sending anything and I mean what are you pushing all these boxes in there around for anyway, you found your Tootsie Rolls?

— What my, no my notes no looking for a typewriter have to type this whole God damned thing over again cheese and tomato all over it where you and Bast…

— Me and Bast what man I mean like Schramm’s typewriter it’s right in by those brown books, I mean all this work you said you came here to do and you…

— Yes well God damn it look! get anything done here, get through one simple sentence without somebody banging on the door troop of idiots comes in to rehearse phone ringing…

— Man like so let it ring… she was unwadding a tattered scrap of newspaper — I mean like why answer it then.

— Because I’ve been waiting for a call… he scaled a bundle over Appletons’—waiting for an important call, now what…

— Look man I mean I just need to make like this one call okay?

She turned away to reach up and dial, drew his eyes up — whole God damned reason I’m trying to get this work done…

— Hello? Like did you have this ad in the paper about… hello? I mean look my friend showed me this ad in the paper where you want this girl to… No but like for how much, I mean… no but I mean like what do you want me to do screw a horse in… what like right now? I mean I can come now if… ask for Mister what? Like c h… i? c i…? No man I mean I know where the hotel is I’m coming right down… She sank to 24–12 Oz Btls Fragile! to tie a moccasin — man like these pants I just brought you, I mean like can you give me five dollars?