William Gaddis - J R

— Could I ask you something, Whiteback?

— Yes well of course I ahm…

— I worry about you sometimes, doesn’t it ever occur to you to give up one or the other? the bank or the school? When you stop and…

— Yes well of course the ahm, when I know which one of them is going to survive that is to say of course I can ahm, yes all I wanted was to ask you if you could take Mister Glancy’s classes today, he doesn’t seem to ahm, he seems to be out…

— Yes I don’t know his schedule, my day to monitor cafeteria and then I…

— Of course if you wanted to take some time right now to look around for ahm, to stop at the cleaner’s and pick up a suit you might have ahm, might have left there yes, another suit and of course your ahm, if you’ve hurt your foot??? might excuse me, hello…? Oh! Oh well yes he ahm, yes send him in… and the rimless lenses came away for a hand to rise and rub the vacancies beneath as the phone clattered down, — the Internal Revenue Service man to look into our programming but of course you might ahm, yes turn that down it’s a little ahm…

— Incidentally she’s in today isn’t she? that isn’t just last week’s tape or…

— Glancy? Oh no yes Mrs Joubert you mean to say, no this is just a monitor from her class so she must be ahm, of course you wouldn’t know she’d been ill because she looks well doesn’t she but then she always looks quite ahm, yes you might want to stop and see if Miss Waddams can do something to ahm, she might have an ace bandage or Vogel, yes Coach Vogel might have an ace bandage so you could get your shoe on that is to say even ahm, yes even a tennis shoe I think someone’s… Yes? Come in…? I think the lesson guide’s right here somewhere, yes he might like ahm…

— the Eskimo who is no longer segregated in the wilderness, but encouraged to take his rightful place at the side of his American countrymen in the cities, in the factories, on the farm…

And Nanook’s losing battle against the blizzard of scratched remnants of film finally gave over to the barrage of flying milk cartons that daily signaled lunch and the furtive departure of the monitor whose back could be seen through the A blazing red in? A R a step beyond the legal distance off by anyone on the way to the Post Office or even, some time later, returning from it. — Was that Mister Gibbs in there hey?

— Who else would it be, he’s…

— Shhh he just came out he’s right behind us, come on around by the parking lot…

— So what, he doesn’t give a…

— Quick look out hey! there’s Coach…!

— Coach? Say Coach? Wait…

— Why, it’s like the morning after Blenheim Mister Gibbs, walking wounded everywhere. Come into the locker room and we’ll fit you to a crutch.

— Have to walk this way or the God damned slipper will fall off listen, have to take a glass of, class of Glancy’s tell you what I need though, a shoe.

— For want of a nail wasn’t it, watch the door here. We’ll have a look in the lost and found box I think there’s a pair of ice skates that might fit you.

— Didn’t lose ice skates, listen…

— Just a flight of fancy Gibbs, skating down a slope of Tchaikowski’s Eighteen Twelve Overture it’s been on my mind since the time you told me Venice was frozen music, but what was the name of the tune they used? Steady, steady now, remember Howard’s sacred gore? Here it comes now…

— But that’s, wait. He’s shrunk!

— Shrunk? He never was a towering figure but to say…

— Saw him this morning coming out of Whiteback’s office look where’s your locker room, I don’t want to see the bastard again…

— Dan? a bastard? Why the poor…

— What do you mean Dan, coming toward us? Saw him this morning it’s that God damned Major in his bandages and his arm in a, God damn it he’s shrinking look at him jacket’s down to his, look where his sleeve is look at his pants, can’t walk without hiking up his pants he’s…

— Just enjoying a strolling game of pocket billiards, do you happen to know the wife? Mrs Cariyle, wasn’t it? waked up in the middle of the night by the bed shaking? Dan we’re over here discussing Sartor Resartus, Mister Gibbs and I seem to have the same tailor. Here comes Dan with all the news, got the boxback coat and the…

— Oh I, I’m sorry I didn’t see you, I… he broke off looking from one to the other, finally settling on Gibbs’ vacant breast pocket.

— Sorry Dan, for a minute there I thought you were…

— You gave Mister Gibbs quite a turn here, I’ve got to get him tended to he’s…

— But, but wait Coach I just wanted to ask you, this morning when I saw your…

— Not only saw it Gibbs look at his pants there, he told Whiteback I was an old neighbor from Cleveland. That’s a new touch isn’t it Dan? the SOS button?

— Oh I, I forgot I had it on, no what I meant was your lesson on circuitry I couldn’t quite match the script to the…

— Got to get this man tended to first Dan, he has to get down for a glass at Clancy’s. Spend any time overseas yourself, Gibbs?

— None I want to discuss right now, look, just…

— When you could lean out the tank turret and, steady… they matched step up the corridor. — You happen to know Mrs Joubert, Gibbs?

He watched their backs for a moment, one already splitting at the shoulder, and then freed his hand to remove the SOS button before turning down the range of lockers to leave the only hand in sight that coursing out the hour, ten minutes short of its goal when the phone rang, twice, three times, caught with a crash of the doors in a nailbitten clench.

— Yeah hello? Yeah hey wait a second operator he’s coming, he just… yeah hey just wait a second he’s coming, can you wait a second…? the doors parted for the cropped head to peer up the corridor. — Yeah here he is operator wait, he’s coming… hurry up hey, they’re waiting…

— Okay get out of the, hello? Get out of the way hey so I can, hello? Yes I’ll accept the call yes, hello…? the doors clattered closed. — Hello Bast? Boy I almost didn’t… no I’m out of breath, I had to stay in at… No but first hey how come you didn’t call Piscator about this here whole Wonder… what? No but where are you at then, you… What? What do you… No but how come you’re at this here hospital… Holy… no but holy… no but you mean right at that there gala banquet you and him were… No but how was I supposed to know that? I mean I knew the both of them were old but holy… No but if he had his arm around you singing how come you… You mean right in the middle of the movie? Holy… No but like if, like I mean he’s not going to die or something is he? Because if him and his brother don’t sign that stuff Piscator was supposed to get ready we’re really up the… What his brother’s there right now you mean? Can you… What, they already did? Why didn’t you tell me, I mean if they both signed it everything’s okay we don’t have anything to… No hey I didn’t just mean that Bast, I mean sure I hope he gets better real soon tell him but… No but wait tell him he can’t do that hey, it’s… No but if he sold the company it isn’t even his trade secret anymore it’s ours hey, I’ll… No I’ll bet you a quarter hey, ask Piscator, he… that cobalt in the water puts such a great head on their beer? did he tell… No but see even if this here nurse he’s whispering it to doesn’t get it see she might just tell somebody which… No but tell him to quit it anyway okay? So what else did… No wait a second, who…? Did he say that, he’s coming there…? No but see he’s been calling me and Piscator because he’s scared this here bunch of Wonder stock this other brother gave him this loan of to use it like for collateral when this company of his was getting in this trouble because they used to both play football at some college, see so now Mooneyham’s scared that if we give him a hard time over this here stock this whole X–L Lithography Comp… No but how was I supposed to know this here other brother had… No but what do they expect me to… No okay, okay but… Sure I know you don’t but… No sure Piscator will do all of it anyway see so you don’t even have to be… just for like if he checks in with you but… Sure I know you don’t but just tell me one thing hey, what’s lithography…? Honest…? and then they what…? No but like putting some picture on these stones with this grease no wonder they’re losing all this money, I mean like you can buy a camera for… No okay, okay, I didn’t… No there’s just this one other thing, did you see the paper yet…? No not that, I mean about you remember that Ace Development Company which I bought all that stock of? Well see what just happened was this underwriter Mister Decker what he did was when he set it up all it had was these claims to explore for these virgin minerals see so to bring the stock up he found this here Alberta and Western Power Company to merge them by exchanging their stock but see this Alberta and Western was already losing like ten thousand dollars a month so he hires this shit Mister Wall see for… No but he is because listen, they give him this big expense allowance and like this twenty-five percent sales commission to handle their financing so like remember I got those debentures which I was getting this interest on the Series? right after they put out the Series C? Well see like what he did was first he put out this Series A which then when the interest on it was due he put out this here Series? and used that money to pay it see, see then when the interest on the Series? was due he just put out this… No but so what if he goes to jail, I mean I’m the one that… No like Piscator just said maybe we have this lousy bunch of mineral rights and like drilling rights or something on these old Alberta right of ways so wait have you got a map there hey…? No I forgot where you are, don’t… No don’t get mad I forgot where you… What do you mean did I learn a lesson, it’s this shit Mister Wall who… No no but wait, hey Bast…? Wait no I know but… No but you don’t have to call Hopper see because I already called him this morning, see he… I know see he sent me all this same crap in the mail too but I just told him like if the bank owns their ballfield now and they get pissed off at… No okay but… sure but… no but see I told him you’re not coming back up there that quick anyway so… No no sure I know you don’t but I couldn’t hardly tell him that or… No well that, see that’s just this little thing about this here cemetery right in the middle of where those train tracks go on that big right of way, see it’s owned by this Ancient Order of some kind of animal where Hopper’s this here Grand… No I didn’t either but that’s what he said, so anyway there’s this here old lawsuit which… No wait I know that’s what Piscator’s for hey, see so I already told him to settle it any way they… No but what am I supposed to do! I mean who wants to buy all these like Hopper kept saying these here departed loved ones and who wants… no wait don’t… okay okay but don’t get… The what? Crawley sent you all that stuff too? I thought you were still talking about… no look hey it’s nothing you have to even… No it’s just this here drug company at Italy or someplace which he says their stock is this good deal so I called this here other broker which said it just went from thirty-eight to thirty-four and three eighths see so… No I know you don’t, see I just… No well that, no well see that’s just this other thing Crawley said was… No but see it’s just this here spinoff where this Endo Appliance Company is getting spinned off this here other company which got this consent order see so they… No but… no but wait hey I… No sure Bast I know I said just till this here Wonder deal is straightened out see but… sure I know I said Piscator would see but… No I mean I’m not crazy about him either but like right now he’s all we… no no but wait hey I never said you should dress like him either with all those flaps and belts and that thing tied around his neck and those like sideburns and all but… No see I think all he meant about your clothes was maybe like where the back of your coat was… no I know he thinks that too but see I told him you’re reading up on all this stuff see and… no but… no but wait hey, I… No sure I think he should do something about it too, it sounds… No you mean the Nonny part that’s just from what he called himself when he was little no I mean Piscator, I mean I’m always having to yell it to somebody over the phone they think… what? No but… no I know but… no but see that’s what I mean like just for right now if you can like keep things straight with him see once this thing gets incorporated we… No but wait hey wait… hey? Bast…? No I know I said that but… no but see getting incorporated all it is is then you don’t get screwed on taxes like everybody else and like for this here limited reliability and all if something happens they can’t… No but… no but listen hey… no I know it but see first there’s this here accountant up at Piscator’s office which he’s working up this best arrangement for you taxwise where you don’t get screwed on this here salary I’m saving you from see so… No but… no I know but look hey Bast, I mean is it my fault if you went down there and now this here band wouldn’t even play your music because you’re not in some union so they still didn’t pay you yet? I mean holy… No well okay then but I mean like what would of happened if you didn’t finally take that whole seventeen dollars expenses up at the museum after we… Okay but look I mean you won’t even have to see because Piscator said he thinks maybe he can find us some public relations company which that’s this here deductible business expense where a dollar’s only worth forty… no I know I did but… no but that’s why I wrote it all out for you see once you see this here Mooneyham and get this X–L thing fixed up I mean then you can what…? No I know but… okay but I mean if you said you need this money to join this here copier union so this band will even play what you… how much? He did hey…? No but that’s neat I mean… no but look hey Bast I mean if Mister Wonder wants to help you out where he’ll pay you like fifty dollars to write this jingle for his beer I mean that will pay to… no but I mean like he says making fifty dollars on the side, you… what? No I just mean on the side like, you know…? No well sure but… no I know but I mean see when you get to do your own work you’re always… No okay okay! I mean holy, I mean where I’m just trying to help you out it’s… no I know but I mean it’s like with me all this here homework which I’m already getting this D in math and Mrs Joubert says I’m heading for one in social studies and even… Who, Mrs Joubert? Sure she’s okay, she… No like she was out a few days but hey there she is, isn’t that funny just when we’re talking about her she walks down the… No she looks real healthy sure, she just a second… Do you want to use this here phone Mister Gibbs? Okay just a second… Just this one thing hey you know you said it would take you like a month to read that statistician thing of the United States book I got you? See well I sent in and had you enrolled in this here rapid reading course which all you… hey? Hello hey? hello…? And the door clattered fully open. — Hey where’d you get those Mister Gibbs?