William Gaddis - The Recognitions

There was, in fact, a religious aura about this festival, religious that is in the sense of devotion, adoration, celebration of deity, before religion became confused with systems of ethics and morality, to become a sore affliction upon the very things it had once exalted. Quite as festive, these halls, as the Díonysian processions in which Greek boys dressed as women carried the ithyphalli through the streets, amid sounds of rejoicing from all sexes present, and all were; glorious age of the shrine of Hercules at Coos, where the priests dressed in feminine attire; the shrine of Venus at Cyprus, where men in women's clothes could spot women immediately, for they wore men's clothes: golden day of the bride deflowered by the lingam, straddling the statue of Priapus to offer her virginity to that god who, like all gods, even to the Christian deity who exercised it with Mary in the form of the Holy Ghost, had jus primae noctis, and no subterfuge permitted. So enough of these young brides had backed up upon the Priapean image and left their flowers there. So a voice said now, — Then let's go to Vienna, they've announced that you can wear drag in the streets if you don't offend public morals! Isn't that sweet? To which a dark-haired person in an evening gown of green watered silk said, — More than once I've dressed as a priest, just so no one would be troublesome about my wearing skirts. Sometimes I just can't breathe in trousers.

So priests down through the ages, skirted in respectful imitation of androgynous deities who reigned before Baal was worshiped as a pillar, before Osiris sported erection, before men knew of their part in generation, and regarded skirted women as autofructiferous. When they made this discovery, the sun replaced the moon as all-powerful, and Lupercalia came to Rome, naked women whipped through the streets around the Palatine hill, and the cross became such a glorious symbol of the male triad that many a religion embraced it, so notorious that when the new religion which extolled the impotent man and the barren woman triumphed over a stupefied empire, the early skirted fathers of the Church forbade its use.

So even now, under a potted palm with silver fronds, a youth making a solemn avowal held another youth by that part where early Hebrews placed their hands when taking oaths, for it represented Jahveh.

Ed Feasley had a hand on a smooth chocolate shoulder which rose from a lavender evening gown in organdy, standing in the less-lighted shelter of a pillar.

There were women there. At a large table near the dance floor one sat, with broad tailored shoulders, flat grosgrain lapels, shortcut hair and heavy hands (she looked rather like George Washington without his wig, at about the time he married Martha Dand-ridge (Custis) for her money), recently in trouble, someone said, over kidnaping a seal for immoral purposes. She had not spoken to a man for sixteen years. Somewhere submerged in childhood lay a little girl's name which had once been hers. Only her bankers knew it now. Friends called her Popeye. Now she was saying, to an exquisitely pomaded creature whom thousands knew as a hero of stage, screen, and radio, — I wish I were a little boy, so that I could dance with you. They were interrupted by Big Anna, in dinner clothes. — Have you seen Agnes? said the Swede. — My dear she has the key to my box, and simply everything's locked up in it. The most delicious gown Jacques Griffes made for me especially to wear tonight, and I've had to come in this silly tuxedo suit, simply everyone thinks I'm a woman. .

The second in order of the strip-tease performers stood beside them, dressed now in silver lame. — Rudy! the Swede said, — your dance was excruciating.

— I feel simply ghastly, Rudy said. — I've been having hot flashes all evening. What divine perfume. Have you seen a book of mine?

— It's only My Sin, I borrowed it from Agnes. Is this your book? Rudy reached for it. — But what are you doing reading Tertullian?

— For my work of course. I'm designing sports costumes for an order of nuns, and I've been told that their ears simply must be kept covered, by a very dear friend. He lent me this book, Rudy said, fondling Tertullian. — De Virginibus Velandìs, on the necessity of veiling virgins. Val told me the most divinely absurd stories this afternoon. Do you know why nuns must have their ears covered? My dear, so they won't conceive! The Virgin conceived that way, the Logos entered her ears. I have no idea what a logos is, but it doesn't sound at all nice does it. Val quoted Vergil and all sorts of dead people. Why, they all used to believe that all sorts of animals conceived that way. They thought that mares were made pregnant by the wind. And so I have to read this to really know what on earth I'm doing, covering their ears, because evil angels are waiting to do the nastiest things to them. Can you imagine conceiving on the badminton court?

— It sounds really celestial, said Big Anna. — But what perfume are you wearing?

— I can't tell you, ically. A very dear friend makes it himself. Fuisse dearn, that's what he calls it. An aroma remained, you could tell a goddess had just appeared, Rudy said, waltzing toward the dance floor.

— I'd prefer French, Big Anna muttered, looking bitterly after Rudy's silver lame. — Where is Agnes, he said, wringing his hands.

Otto was trying to order another drink. He stared on the festival with glazed eyes, and had decided for safety's sake to sit still until he could summon energy to leave. He waved with a heavy hand at a passing mulatto whose black hair stood out four inches behind his conical head in anointed streamlining, and that one was gone with his tray. Instead Cleopatra fluttered up to ask him for Maude Munk's telephone number, — because she's getting the most gorgeous baby by air mail from Sweden, and we want one so much. . With the concentration of applied memory, Otto invented a telephone number. — Do you want to dance? Cleopatra asked him. Adeline returned to the table alone. — I was dancing with some guy and he suddenly let go of me and said, You are a girl, aren't you, and left me right in the middle of the floor. See him, that big handsome boy, he looks like he went to Princeton.

— He probably did, Otto mumbled. Then he swung around at Cleopatra. — Will you get that God-damned thing out of my sling? he said, and the queen removed the asp, alarmed. — That's the cutest disguise you wear, said Cleopatra, and then, abruptly, and as indignant — Aren't you queer?

— Of course not, Otto said, indignantly unoriginal.

— What a shame, said Cleopatra. — I must find my barge.

Otto looked for Esme, did not see her. He looked for Feasley, did not see him. He was about to speak to Adeline when she left the table and went toward the dance floor saying, — I see a gentleman.

A voice said, — I've never seen so much bad silk on so many divine bodies. Another said, — Let's elope. And another, — You can't touch me, because I'm in a state of Grace. I'm going to be received tomorrow, only think! Tomorrow. .

— Pony boy, a voice crooned.

— But I thought Victoria and Albert Hall were going to be here. Have you read her book? Have you seen his play? Where are they? said Big Anna, looking, as he had each minute of the evening, nearer to weeping. — Oh Herschel! Herschel! Will you stop that singing and console me?

— What is it, baby?

— It's Agnes. She has my key.

— Yes, baby, Herschel said. He was almost immobile, but still standing. — I have to get home to work, he said in a voice which was more a liquid presence and barely escaped his throat. — Work. Work. Work.