William Gaddis - The Recognitions

— I'm not going to stand by and see a tramp like this. .

— They let the path stay dirty, you. . you see? To fool people, to fool reasonable people, like you. But I… I… His head swayed, and he blinked his eyes in Mr. Yak's face. — See? he managed to add. Pastora got up suddenly, and stood beside him. The guitar broke a chord at the other end of the table. Someone there commenced to clap. Pastora put a hand on his opposite shoulder, nearest Mr. Yak, all the time watching Mr. Yak with animal alertness, even as he stood and reached to dislodge her hand and help his friend away.

— Déjame! she snarled across the sunken shoulders, and then in her hoarse whisper, — Déjale!. . sounding that j with the guttural intensity of the Arabs'S.

— Hoy los nobios se van a casar. . someone at the end of the table began singing. Mr. Y;'tk withdrew his hand slowly, and lowered his eyes to the figure slumped at the head of the table, where he stared for a moment while Pastora watched him and did not move. Then he looked sharply up at her. — Ten cuidado, he said, warning her, and before she could answer he turned away and was gone, past the diners, the guitar, the bottles, the heels, the singer's — No sale la cuenta porque falta un churumbel.

Pastora, at every instant with him as near to joy as to woe, waiting to be told, for joy to burst over her at the slightest assurance, despair at the first slight, tears of helpless anger at indifference, recovering in surly contempt, but still waiting to be told, — Me quieres? She with nothing of her own, not even her words but in question, until forced to cry out at last, — Yo te quiero y tu no me quieres.

They kept on there until the wine was gone. Then she lit one of the harsh yellow cigarettes and put it to his lips. — Vámonos. . Esteban! Vámonos?. .

At night, — Vida!. . Cielo!… no termína… mi vida! And still in the dark, and in fun so she means it to sound, — Vamos hacer un niño!. . gone unanswered, Pastora listening in the dark, no answer but the sound of the bed and she goes limp through her thin body under the steady silent weight, or a hand at the brown nipple of her small breast, and flings up her arms to pull the weight closer, her head back, sobbing, sobs shaking her occupied body and that part so full, still unfulfilled, forgotten for this anguish, her face wet, turned away from the silent lips she has drawn down to her, waiting, to cry out at last, — Me quieres?. . Dime lo, aunque no es ver-darl!. .

Pastora woke alone in the damp bed, the sheets twisted, to call, — Esteban?. . and hear nothing but her own breath in the dark. She got up naked and opened the inside shutters, and daylight separated the louvers of the outside. A blanket and her skirt lay on the dirty worn tiles of the ground floor. She put on her slip, her skirt, her shoes, shook the pitcher, found it empty, called loudly for water, and when it was brought she poured some in the basin, rinsed her face, wet her hair, and combed its coarse strands down with a comb from her purse. On the table by the bed, as she put on her blouse, she found an empty Ideal packet, and another one-hundred peseta note.

Mr. Yak was out of bed and dressed before his morning coffee was brought. He did not wait for it in fact, but locked his room, tapped at the door down the hall, opened it and found the room empty, and interrupted a girl on a trip with two chamber pots down the chill front passage. She opened the front door for him, smiling, — Vaya Usted con Diós. . and he went out, down the stairs and into the street, his hair square on his head and his mustache set stiff with purpose.

He passed the blind boy with the lottery tickets pinned to his coat, the line of women in black, before the charcoal-seller's, children carried by bundled like Eskimos, men in bedroom slippers, cloth hemp-soled shoes, berets, mufflers drawn over the chin, capes out of Goya across half the face. The sound of English in the streets was startling: the same tall woman passed, pointing to a tattered old man before her, — Now there, I want some sandals like those, see them? — Those aren't sandals, mumbled her husband beside her, — those are his feet.

Mr. Yak made a circle, looking in at every bar and cafe, from the Pðerta del Sol back down the Calle de Atocha. It grew later, and his expression of impatience became more stern, entering the Plaza Tirso de Molina, watching, listening for La Tani, he stopped in at Chispero's for coffee, still searching every face for the one he sought, searching faces as though the great city were a perpetual masquerade, where every face, like his own, hid another, so that at last it was not that specific square face knotted about the eyes in mild surprise that he sought, but familiarity to emerge from this world of shapes and smells, the amber color of Genesis coñac, the green of the bottles, the fixed stare of the silver fish on the bar, the smell of oil, dark squares of fried blood on a plate, shreds of liver, the seat of the emotions roasted, cut up, served beside the tall stemmed glass, waiting, watching for familiarity to emerge from this world of shapes and smells, clad against the cold reality of the outside in the yielding armor of drunkenness. An elderly man stood against the wall opposite, drinking coffee beneath a picture of Adelita Beltrán who would appear later on the stage inside, to dance, pounding her heels, brandishing her skirt to La Sebastiana, to sing La Zarza Mora, and Mr. Yak looked away from the old man quickly, aware that the resemblance he had sought and found in that face was his own. The coffee in his glass floated yellow globes of oil at the rim, and he drank it down and went out, pressing at his mustache with two fingertips. It was not in a bar that he finally did find Stephan, but standing unsteadily outside one, a place called La Flor de mi Vina, where a car had just run over his foot, slowly, nudging him insistently from behind like a clumsy animal sidling up, leaving him with that expression of mild surprise confirmed in his face. And the only reason a policeman appeared was that one happened to be passing, and a handful of unoccupied people had set up a clamor. It happened so slowly. That gentle nudging might have been one of the burros that stand harnessed to trash carts in the streets of the city. The policeman was very polite, as Mr. Yak appeared, rescued his friend and set off with him in the direction of the Estación del Norte, walking briskly not speaking after his first reproof, — What did you want to tell the cop you're a… what did you tell him? A Pelagian?… he just wanted to know what kind of a nationality you are, can't you just say swisso? What if he asks for your Pelagian passport? Have you got your passport on you? What if I didn't come along just then? The day was heavily overcast, and they walked on without looking up at the even unchanging gray of the sky. — How long you expect to keep this up, anyway? Mr. Yak muttered, expecting no answer, and he got none. They'd walked some distance before he commented, — This place is getting on both of our nerves.

They reached San Zwingli without incident, and very little conversation after Mr. Yak had outlined their plan. — We can't take it away in the box, that's too bulky. . but if we leave about at dark. . Then he looked closely at his companion, as though to see if he would be capable of carrying out his end of it when the time came. — How many monkeys you got sitting down up in your head now? he brought out finally, as they climbed the hill from the railway station.

— I? I haven't had a drink all day.

— Where you been all day then? Mr. Yak's tone was truculent, possibly to hide the surprise he felt at this answer. — I looked all over the place for you, he added, muttering, returning his eyes to the stones of the road. Up in the town, the bell of the church sounded, and both of them raised their eyes for a moment, then lowered them immediately as though in embarrassment, as it went on striking, and they continued side by side up the uneven grade, out of step, and so close they bumped each other. — Where were you all day? Mr. Yak asked again, when they bumped the second time.