William Gaddis - A Folic Of His Own

— No.

— But, look I can't wait around I…

— I said no Harry!

— Well what do you, Oscar's fine he's got Lily here to look out for him you can't just, I've got to take the car I can't just…

— Well take it! Just don't break your neck like we did getting out here.

— Oscar look, will you tell her you're…

— And get me a cloth from the kitchen, will you Lily? I've spilled some tea here. Is there any food in the house?

— There's some eggs.

— Never mind, here's a napkin, now…

— Can I help you Mrs Lutz? I could prepare some…

— And for God's sake stop calling me Mrs Lutz.

— But I thought, I have to go in a minute anyway, I have to get this car back to my girlfriend but if there's anything I…

— We're all right Lily, we're fine. I'll just make some scrambled eggs, we'll be fine.

Down the bare hall the outside doors clattered again, the obstinate whine of a car's starter, the cough of the engine, the wrath of crows down there on the lower lawn where she looked out over the brown grasses stirring along the edge of the pond's surface teeming with cold which seemed to rise right up here into the room to wrap them each in a chill mantle of silence pillaged by the clatter of all that had gone before the more intense in this helpless retrospect of isolation where their words collided, rebounded, caromed off those lost boundaries of confusion echoing the honking tumult of Canada geese in skeins blown ragged against the uncharted grey of the sky out over the pond, each thread in the struggle strung to its own blind logic from some proximate cause blinded to consequence and the whole skein itself torn by the winds of negligence urging their hapless course, she'd told him to take their settlement offer hadn't she? and Harry, hadn't Harry told him the same thing? Then who'd got him into this mess in the first place? Get yourself a Jewish lawyer if you're going after these movie people, who'd handed him over to Sam Lepidus? passed him along to Harold Basic stranded here tugged between a Jew and a black drawn tight as the sullen line of his lips in this mute exchange raging between them, the way Basie'd not so much deceived him as let him down: Where had Maid Quiet gone to, nodding her russet hood? That's good to know, as though some breath of fondness lingered, tinging her lips with a smile the way he'd sat here with something he'd torn from the paper about the hairy Ainu gone on the instant, breaking out with — my God I hope he drives carefully, two or three drinks and those pills he's been taking. Isn't there some more of your Pinot Grigio? as the day drained away at last, and over the scrambled eggs in the kitchen — you've got to call him, Oscar.

— Call him where! Making brooms in some, why hasn't he called me? He's the one who…

— I'm talking about Father. You've got to call Father she said, and again more astringently next morning going through that blue folder adding columns of figures, going through the mounting heap of mail — my God, haven't you opened any of this? Overdue account Third Notice, a sale of boating equipment, of tulip bulbs, Final Notice Overdue, Hobbytime, The Bursar's office wishes to inform you that a $7500 lien has been placed against your salary effective immediately, in the event that Schriek Mohlenhoff & Shransky At your request we have applied for a hearing date for your appearance in connection with the above captioned product liability action brought by your insurance Ace Fidelity Worldwide against Sosumi Motors relevant to inconveniences allegedly suffered by you resulting from vehicular malfunction due to Delinquent Account Unless we are in receipt of your certified check in the above amount within five business days we shall Be the first on your block to sport a pair of Hiawatha's Magic Mittens Wear 'Em With The Ladies Historical Preservation Society eagerly awaits your response to our earlier request for letters documents and other memorabilia relating to the late Thomas Crease (later Justice Crease) Seventeenth Regiment Army of Northern Virginia in your possession which properly belong in our archives before we are obliged to take legal steps — for the love of heaven. You've got to call him.

— He already knows about these stupid archives doesn't he?

— I'm talking about these stupid bills and stupid overdue accounts and stupid liens against your stupid salary Oscar, this whole stupid mess you've got yourself into, what do you plan to do.

— What do you expect me to do! Burrow in the cushions for change that fell out of his pocket when he went to sleep reading the paper? That's what it would be like, asking him for money it would be like burrowing in the…

— Well you've simply got to make peace with him somehow, there's your mother's trust account in that Maryland bank you'd need his permission to go into that wouldn't you? There's something in this mess about an escrow payment on the mortgage, do you want to wait for them to step in and sell the place out from under us and try to explain that to him? Will you call him?

— Well I, maybe after lunch Christina, maybe…

— And what do you plan for lunch, poached salmon with carrots in the Spanish style? We've got to get some food in the house, if I look at another egg I'll turn into one.

— Yes well, you can call the cab in the morning and…

— I am not going to call the cab! Spend money on cabs after what we've just, you can call Lily. You can call Lily can't you? She's got a car hasn't she?

— But, to ask her to go shopping for us I don't…

— I didn't say I'd even think of doing that did I? She'd come back with God knows what, a frozen pizza and some Hostess Twinkles no, of course I'll go with her.

Bread, celery, tea, soups, oil, chicken breasts, onions, vermicelli, lamb chops, capers, sour cream, butter — You can put all that right in the refrigerator Lily, and tea, didn't we get tea? Put some water on will you? And I got this ginger preserve he likes with his toast, you might want to make tea for us right now I'm chilled to the bone and those dishes, maybe you can clear them up while we're waiting, that is of course if there's any hot water God knows what's wrong with it, there's scarcely enough to wash your face.

— Oscar had Mister Boatwright here, I thought maybe he fixed it.

— He had what?

— This old plumber, Mister Boatwright?

— I can't imagine what you're talking about, let me see if there've been any calls. Oscar? She burst down the hall, had Harry called while they were out? or had anyone? Well, had he finally got up the nerve to call Father? or would she have to do it herself, like everything else here. She'd asked Lily to stay to supper, a decent meal probably wouldn't hurt her it might be that appalling haircut makes her look like something the cat dragged in, if she could simply stop that incessant chatter, her daddy and mother say they're going to come up here and they're going to get everything reconciled when she's able to see them without that Reverend Bobby Joe always hanging around because she's all they've got left now with her brother Bobbie gone God knows where but they're still mad at her for where she went and made that dumb marriage outside the faith to this Jewish guy which Reverend Bobby Joe says like it's some kind of a disease that all of a sudden just turned up again like this bad penny who's suing your ridiculous accident lawyer for adultery so she's real scared he'll make her be this witness if he can find her — so you may have the chance to work another courtroom appearance into your own busy schedule Oscar, if you see what I mean. What are you reading there? He held up Hobbytime, — my God, like that ant farm you sent off for when you were seven and we had them all over the house oh, just put it down there Lily I think we can manage, before you wait, can you get that? If it's Harry tell him I'm not, no I'll talk to him give it to me, here. Harry? Oh… oh! followed by oh my Gods and but how awfuls, Nembutals? and finally — yes but do! It will do you good, you must be exhausted, when do you… Well whenever you can, if they need you in court then come out when it's over, it can't go on forever can it? resting the phone back in its cradle, cradling her head in her hand, — now. Where has she gone. Do you ever expect to see Ilse again? And will you do me a favour and call that therapist? unless you plan to spend the rest of your life lying around here like a beached whale. Do you think you can ask her to get rid of some of this trash?