William Gaddis - A Folic Of His Own

— They're supposed to stop this collection agency from calling me in the middle of the night, that bill for seventy five hundred dollars for suing myself he ought to be shot.

— That's what Daddy said too but Reverend Bobby Joe said that could get him in real trouble, because Daddy already gave him this money to sue the insurance company and make them pay up on Bobbie's car where Reverend Bobby Joe said it was all this grand design of the Lord where Daddy could take this big insurance settlement and cleanse it by putting it in the Lord's service? Only now they won't pay it because they said Daddy's responsible because he gave Bobbie the money for the car where they found this empty sixpack in the wreck when tragedy struck so Daddy has to sue this dealer who sold Bobbie the car because he already failed his learner's permit three times so he didn't even have a driving license and they never should have sold him the car in the first place. So now Daddy and Reverend Bobby Joe they're both of them mad at me because it's my fault I brought down this lawyer that took money from Daddy to help him out when the only reason he did it with me in the first place in his car and at Disney World and these water beds all over the place he thought he was going to get in on all this money I'd have from Daddy now that Bobbie was gone when we reconciliated and he's up there right now spreading my girlfriend from long lines on his desk unzipping his big…

— Wait, no wait he was, that was before, you did it with him in his car before Bobbie's accident because of that stupid dream you…

— I don't care! I said I want to get revenge and don't call me stupid either, you said you'd help me didn't you? If we could do something to his car that would be funny, so he could have an accident like Bobbie wouldn't that be funny? Did you see that old movie where she thinks Gary Grant did something to the brakes so she'll go over the cliff? Only this time…

— Funny? getting run over by a car do you think I…

— Or I read someplace where they put this rattlesnake in this man's mailbox so that when he reached in…

— No! No this is all…

— Then you think of something! You just sit around here all day reading and watching the television where all everybody does is kill each other and you still didn't think of something?

— Wait what time is it. My nature program, what time is it.

— I don't know! I didn't come over here to watch some smelly animals and funny looking fish Oscar, can't you even talk to me?

— I, I can't no, I can't talk to anyone I can't think I can't even, everything's just spinning around I just want to get my mind off the whole, off all of it for a minute.

— Do you want me to…

— No, no don't. Later.

— I'm hungry she said, straightening up as the screen came dispiritedly to life on a visit to a lackluster member of the Cistaceae or rockrose family, Helianthemum dumosum, more familiarly known in its long suffering neighborhood as bushy frostweed for its talent at surviving the trampling by various hoofed eventoed closecropping stock of the suborder Ruminantia, to silently spread and widen its habitat at its neighbors' expense like some herbal version of Gresham's law in Darwinian dress demonstrating no more, as his head nodded and his breath fell and the crush of newsprint dropped to the floor, the tug at his lips in the troubled wince of a smile might have signaled no more than or, better perhaps the very heart of some drowned ceremony of innocence now the worst were filled with passionate intensity where — we share something then don't we, no small thing either — That's good to know, demonstrating simply the survival of the fittest embracing here in bushy frostweed no more than those fittest to survive not necessarily, not by any means, by any manner of speaking, the best, so that when at last the outer doors clattered open, clattered closed and down the hall with — My God, he's sound asleep! it was upon some lowlife in the bogs from the sundew family, Droseraceae to their betters, busy here supplementing their nitrogen spare diets in this gloomy habitat with insects captured on their leaves so purposefully endowed with sticky glands or hairs.

— I'm not asleep!

— Or had one of those seizures you talk about, how are you Oscar. Blow your little horn will you? I really need a cup of tea.

— It's broken, the rubber bulb's worn out and…

— Well then call her. Ilse? Where is she. Ilse!

— She's in the Bronx Christina, her sister has a cataract and…

— And whose old car is that out there, don't things look shabby enough around here? She picked up the torn streamer of the paper with a glance at the flaming effigy there before she crushed it again, — disgraceful. It's all simply disgraceful.

— Listen I've got to talk to you I, where's Harry I thought he was coming out with you.

— He's getting my sweater from the car, the house is cold as a tomb. And will you turn that thing off!

— Turn it up then, turn up the heat listen, there's something terribly wrong Christina. In the paper there, did you see it? where it says I lost this lawsuit against the…

— Why do you think we broke our necks getting out here, of course we saw it. He's got some rather upsetting news.

— Well so have I! Something that was on television, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. I tried to tell you about it on the phone and you wouldn't listen, I've been trying to reach Basic day after day and I can't get him they ask me to leave my number they have my number don't they? Nobody calls me back they don't even, Harry? Harry listen. There's something wrong.

— Rotten luck Oscar. The chance you take though isn't it, we said at the start you can always lose a lawsuit didn't we, even when you're right you can't always…

— Yes well maybe, it barely mentioned that in passing they got everything else wrong didn't they? No there's something terribly wrong I know it, I…

— Afraid not no, the one damn thing they got right, we said you probably should have…

— That's not what I mean, I…

— Harry will you simply tell him what's happened?

— Said you probably should have taken their settlement didn't we…

— Well he didn't Harry! Now will you…

— Will you listen to me both of you! Listen. This actor named Button something, this black actor who plays the head house slave in the movie he was on television, I just happened to see him being interviewed on television he'd been in prison, that's where he discovered acting, where he learned to act in some acting therapy workshop they had acting out their hostilities and the more he talked. The more he talked about how he discovered himself there, best thing that ever happened to him he said how he'd found his true vocation, acting, The Emperor Jones they did The Emperor Jones and when he heard the applause and then he talked about another prisoner who was kind of a jailhouse lawyer told him if you're black in America you're always playing a part, just find the right one so you don't end up taking your bows in a cell block in there for something that would curl your hair and I've kept thinking of Basic, he showed me a scar once from his collarbone right down to the groin when they had these drinks in the Beverly Wilshire? this old buddy from back in his little theatre days? And that just sounds like him, being black in America you're always playing a part that just sounds like Basic, like something he'd say and, yes she saw it too. Lily? You remember the…

— No go ahead Oscar, I didn't mean to bother you, I was just in the kitchen making something Mrs Lutz. Can I get you anything?

— I'd be eternally grateful for a cup of tea Lily, now…

— Hard as hell to second guess a judge Oscar, a wild card like this one no track record it's practically impossible to…