William Vollmann - Whores for Gloria

Do you believe in Gloria? he asked her, straight out.

Gloria? Who the fuck is that?

Sometimes I don't believe in her either, he admitted. Sometimes I don't believe in anything except not believing. — He spat on the sidewalk and winked. He scratched the fly of his pants. — But if seeing is believing, he went on, then I sure better believe my eyes because here you are right in front of me unless looks are deceiving, which I'm not sayin' they are and I'm not sayin' they aren't, and you are a sight to see baby I'm telling you you are fucking HOT! How about it, huh? Let me kiss your lips (you know which ones!). How about it?

Drop dead, said the whore.

Dinah

Well hey Dinah said Jimmy welcome back from jail. You back at the Hotel Cheyenne?

Listen said Dinah fiercely I am so pissed off at you! You been telling everyone you're jerking off in that hair I let you cut off. I never should have let you do it, you pervert. Jack says he'll cut ycu if he ever sees you on the street again.

I never said that to anyone Dinah, said Jimmy, so don't go and have a period about it. Who told you that anyway?

Pearl.

Pearl told you that?

Oh cut it said Dinah just cut it.

Listen, Dinah, uh Pearl's a little jealous of my wife Gloria I guess she's well she's making up stories to get me in trouble. The truth is that Gloria needs more hair she's balder than a baby's crotch and if you give me your new address so I can come and get more hair I'm sure I can make you very happy Dinah if you know what I mean.

So what are you saying to me? said Dinah, clenching her fists.

Tell me your new address.

Give me five dollars! Dinah shouted.

No, said Jimmy.

Then fuck my address I don't live anywhere anyway I don't have a place to stay tonight so fuck it.

OK said Jimmy well if you ever want to get in touch with me I might have more money to give you then.

When'll you be down here on Jones Street? said Dinah.

Every day. Today's Monday. I'll be here Tuesday, and I'll be here Wednesday.

I'll be talking to you, said Dinah, stalking up the street. And so will Jack.

Classic

There was Classic stretched out on the hood of Code Six's Lincoln; her pretty ass had polished the dust away. She lay with her fingers splayed, gazing at him from behind her shoulder. But her pride was never to tell anyone anything. That was how she kept her privacy. — Fine with me, Jimmy thought, but that means Gloria and I can't use you. And Gloria can't use me and I can't use me so. . So what. — He started walking on. — Oh how she threw back her shoulders like flames with burning breasts lips eyes igniting him — and yet the light from her was just the same streetlight that glittered indifferently on her earrings. — What do I need you for? Jimmy thought sourly. The same light falls on me, too. You don't have a monopoly on it.

Where you goin'? sobbed Classic. How come you never want me?

Sure I'd like to stick it in you, said Jimmy gallantly. But the truth is that I'm faithful. You may not think so, but my business is my business. I don't have to justify myself.

She tried to smile. But she was shivering, even though it was a hot night.

Jimmy hitched his thumbs in the loops of his jeans. — Need your fix? he said. Is that why you're doing the Jello act?

Her eyes dropped. Can I borrow five? she said. I need to, really bad.

Need's what it's all about out here, isn't it, girl? Maybe I need it just as much as you.

She didn't say anything, and he walked on into the darkness, humming Gloria Gloria, but then he was ashamed of himself and went back and stuck a dollar into her hand.

Jack

What you did to my woman is kind of an insult, said Jack. She's feeling pretty bad about it.

Is that a fact? said Jimmy, swishing his tongue around in his mouth.

Yes that is a fact and it's not going to be easy to make things right with her, said Jack. Dinah's kind of got a bug up her ass about it.

Not the only thing she's had up her ass, now, is it, Jack? said Jimmy. Seems to me last time I saw you you told me to live long and prosper. Or was it the time before that?

So this is the way you want to have it? said Jack.

You know you're working yourself up over nothing, said Jimmy. If you want to fight, I'll fight. Is that what you want?

So that's how you want it, said Jack, looking Jimmy up and down. Then he walked away.

Jimmy knew that he had won. But he was shaking.

The Nitecap

How much did I drink in here last time? said Jimmy.

A lot, said the ugly barmaid.

Wow, said Jimmy, you're BEAUTIFUL. Well, I'm going to drink twice as much this time.

Dinah came up to her lamppost. She looked in the window and stuck her tongue out at him.

Jimmy drank and drank. He figured that if Gloria were gone he might as well do whatever he wanted. If he couldn't be happy-drunk he might as well be stupid-drunk. Then he was going to go out and fuck a whore and not think of Gloria at all.

Gloria

. . And leaning against the marble wall of a hotel which had once been fancy, she pulled down the straps of her top to show her hellishly beautiful breasts as she ducked her head down giggling at him shyly raising one arm as if she were afraid of him (and on that arm he saw a long red scar running the length of the vein), and a streedamp powdered her nakedness very white and the cock of her mouth was very girlish because the wrinkles of age that she had planted around her lips had not yet taken deep root so she made her magic for him of naughty brown eyes and imitation turtleshell earrings which she had borrowed from Luna who said with contemptuous kindness take 'em and welcome, you poor old stinkbag and as she fixed her huge pupils on him she was not even thinking about money for the moment but the thrill of making him see her as she wanted to be for all these lonely men whose greed of lust was nothing but an aching prayer for beauty but then he shuffled a little and she thought oh please don't get away from me you sonofabitch I'll cross my legs around your balls to keep you because I need my fix so bad so bad.

Jimmy saw her eyes shining hugely at him and said why, that's what my eyes look like! I never would have thought it.

Are you dating or arentcha? said the whore.

Well, said Jimmy slowly, I'm sorry, but I just don't like the look of your eyes.

Gloria

Past an empty stretch of white wall with stone flowers inset below windows, he spied a pair of popeyed pimp-eyes as urgent as whore-eyes but roundly comical as the pimp twisted himself from side to side not to be sexy but to be urgent as if to say Jimmy this is your one and only chance to get the woman whose cunt will satisfy you for ever and ever, in sickness and in health, so help me God, but you have to come with me right now down this dark dark alley past the sign that says MOVIES and left by the trash cans following the luminescence of my white straw hat and white jeans and the whites of my eyes which I will continually turn back upon you to make sure that you stay with me all the way to the barred basement windows where your good fortune waits for you already saying oh Jimmy Jimmy but as soon as the man opened his mouth he became as monotonous as the intricacies of brick walls and the steel lattice-windows of bars, and Jimmy walked away.

It was a chilly rainy evening. He passed a Sphinx-wise transvestite whose goose-pimpled thighs were gartered to black stockings so frilly that they must really let the wind in. On Grove Street, the men leaned against streetlamps watching girls. One of them said if I have on my new duds, I be gaming them tender, tender ittie-bitties! — He licked his lips, and saliva ran down his chin. Jimmy said to himself am I a dirty thing? Are these men dirty? Why were they made that way? Fuck it. I'm going home to jerk off.