William Vollmann - Whores for Gloria

Gloria

That night went by, and so did the next. Jimmy didn't come out of his room except to piss and drink water from the bathroom sink. He heard nothing but silence. He said to himself everything grows out of something. Gloria must have grown out of something. If she's gone there must be something left. But I can't figure out what. — He lay on his bed with the light on until the bulb burned out and then it was dark and he lay there until Pearl was knocking on the door saying Jimmy? and he moaned something until she went away. Then that day was full and over, like a wastebasket full of beer bottles and used rubbers.

I guess you screwed me, all right, he said. Right up the butt.

Well, shit, he said. Things are pretty cheesey since you left. Maybe I'll just pretend you're here. And if I don't tell you won't tell. I have you figured there, don't I? Because if you tell you'll have to come back to do it.

He laughed and said to himself maybe I could use a beer.

Well, sweetycakes, what kind of dreams exactly do you have? said Jimmy. I never have dreams so I'm gonna memorize yours if you don't mind which somehow I have the feeling you won't because here's five dollars.

Peggy breathed hard and said I had a nightmare just a few nights ago that I was in the stairway of a hotel. I'm running up and down on the stairway and I got these two guys clowning me. They're teasing me, and one's at the top of the steps and I'd run down and I'd run into the other one. I can't get away from 'em. And if they ever got close enough they'd start trying to take my clothes off. I kept looking for my man Titus, but I couldn't find him. He never came through to rescue me. He woke me up once, and I was too sleepy to really come out of it. Yeah, I couldn't get away from 'em. I lost two nights' sleep over it. I was afraid, really afraid.

Pearl

I had a bad dream last night, said Jimmy, thinking to himself my lies are so bad not even I believe 'em. He looked Pearl in the eye and locked his face into the loopy sincerity that she might believe before he said I dreamed that Gloria was trapped on the stairs between these two pimps who wanted to hurt her and they kept sorta playing with her by throwing jewels at her and telling her about all the people they'd stabbed and blown away and then they threw this dead German shepherd bitch at her and she saw they'd cut its cunt out and started calling to me like she was in real trouble, really afraid, and I could hear her through the wall but the door was locked and I couldn't find the key. Finally I broke down the door and rescued her.

That's good Jimmy, said Pearl. I'm real glad it ended happy.

Yeah, Jimmy said. But you know the funny thing was that these pimps were women . They looked like Black Rose types, big and tall but with kinda delicate faces like Luna or Regina, and I thought I'd seen them both before in the street somewhere. One of them had a ponytail, and the other one was kind of like Dinah — you know her, don't you, Pearl? The one that tells lies? They kept whispering these awful things, and every time they'd say something they'd throw a little dart at Gloria and it never missed her — pierced her and went right in her and she was bleeding and crying so every time one of those darts hit her she got thinner and paler until I could see right through her! What do you think that means? I can't figure it. Actually I don't remember much that they were whispering but one time they said Gloria you whore we're gonna take you to the movies. When I finally got there and they saw me they started laughing but I charged at 'em back and forth and they turned into big clay statues you know ceramic and I smashed 'em. But the main thing is I saved her I saved her.

Pearl cleared her throat. You know, Jimmy, she said, if Gloria ever doesn't work out for you I want you to know that I'm here.

Thanks Pearl said Jimmy, taking in all the honest ugliness of her, the bad breath and good nature and loving kindness of her, and then he paid his rent and went out.

Gloria

Well, I didn't do too bad that time did I? he laughed, leaning against a wall on Turk Street. I did pretty good considering I don't even believe in you.

He took a stroll down to Sixth Street, walking cocky, and heard Code Six puking in his alley and politely waited until the sounds stopped before he ambled in and said hey Code Six! How's life, buddy? You pulling through?

Damned straight I am, said Code Six. That's why Walgreen's sells Vaseline.

Gloria

Stories and hair he said to himself again on the bed that's the ticket, stories and hair. Just keep pretending, step by step, and then you're back around the block.

Fine.

What next?

Pleased to know ya, Jimmy said. He stuck out his hand.

Spider's handshake was cold and limp. Spider's wrist dangled down against Jimmy's fingers. Spider did not bother to look at Jimmy when he shook his hand.

Jumper and Boz told me to come to you, Jimmy said.

What do you want? said Spider. I assume you want something.

I hear you have all different kinds of girls, Jimmy said. Now see this hair in this matchbox this is my wife Gloria's hair do you have any girls with hair like that?

That's just reg'lar nigger hair, said Spider. Any one of my girls got hair like that.

Well I want more of it, Jimmy said. I've been in difficulties lately and I'm kind of floundering around, but I think if I get enough of it I may be able to start all over again. I want one of your girls to cut all her hair off to match this so I can make a wig out of it and then any whore I go with can wear it, you see what I'm saying?

You want one of my girls to be bald? said Spider. You trying to insult me? Listen you I grew up on the West Side of Chicago you know what that means?

It means a hundred bucks to you, Jimmy said.

Spider spat on the sidewalk, carefully, right between Jimmy's feet. Two hundred is what it means, he said.

Hey Spider I don't have that kind of money, said Jimmy, what do you think I am, Joe Million?

Everybody be Joe Million for two days when his check come in. Now I be considerin' your proposal; I be cool and you be cool. You gimme some kinda value for my time.

Hundred twenty-five, said Jimmy.

Pay me now.

All right, I owe you, Jimmy said, swallowing. My check comes in this afternoon.

You mean you been wasting my time for nothing? said Spider. Is that what you're trying to say to me? I don't like that. I could pawn you. I could take you down to Turk Street and sell your ass. You want that?

I'll be coming down here tomorrow morning, said Jimmy. You have that bag of hair.

You tell me when, said Spider, and you tell me where, and you better be there or we're gonna have a real talk. You know I could easily take somethin' and just start hittin' you upside the head.

Yeah, Spider, we all have ways of defending ourselves, said Jimmy.

But when Spider heard this, he walked off as Jimmy was speaking and strode up the block to show his displeasure. Jimmy figured that he would be back, and here he came, just like a mosquito. — Now where it gonna be? he said.

The Black Rose, at twelve o'clock, said Jimmy. His throat was dry, and he knew that Spider knew that he was nervous. Spider liked to make people nervous.

That night Jimmy reclined on his bed, which was very sturdy and had withstood thirty years forty years of screwings beatings rapes and thrown dead weight; he rested the back of his neck against the headboard and stared down at his wriggling toes; he looked around him, looked into the closet where his spare shirt lay crumpled, look at the scratched-up desk beside him that served for bureau and night table with a wavering row of empty beer cans that he had not yet crushed, looked at the wastebasket with its moldy apple core and the mummy of an old tampon, stared up at the ceiling where the light bulb hurt his eyes, smelled the insecticide smell that grew simultaneously staler and more concentrated week by week when the exterminator came because Jimmy never opened the window to air the place out; and then there was nothing more to notice so Jimmy began to play with his keys. He felt very safe and happy to think that his door was double-locked, that downstairs in the lobby whose pillars and wide easy wall-curves proclaimed that it had once been plush Pearl sat in her little glass box keeping an eye on everything, and if anyone wanted to get in, he had to talk Pearl into buzzing him in. Outside, beneath the sign that said TRANSIENTS WELCOME, Spider leaned, hawking on the sidewalk, pulling the brim of his cap lower and lower over his eyes because he thought now I be lookin' MEAN! and wide pipes clambered up the wall of the hotel like vines and light glowed white and dim through the little window in the door up the steps behind the great steel grating that Spider might have clawed over inch by inch without finding a way in; and behind Spider stretched a flank of stucco wall studded with reflectors and then the Vietnamese vegetable market which was now closed and then parking meters and parked cars all the way to Code Six's Lincoln on the hood of which Luna lay sprawled barefoot in new white sneakers and she wore black jeans and a dazzling white California T-shirt and she smiled and waved at every passing car. A ratdy old Dodge pulled up, and two men got out with baseball bats. Luna sat up abrupdy. — You the fag that tried to pick my pocket? said one of the men.