Gerald Murnane - A Lifetime on Clouds

Sherd first praised the poor fellow for making a clean breast of such a total. (From memory, he himself had never confessed more than a dozen at one go.) Then he gave his usual advice.

‘Son, as soon as you can, find a good Catholic girl and make her the object of your dreams. And when you’re tempted to commit this disgusting sin, ask yourself what she would think if she could see you.’

Father Sherd handed down a moderately severe penance and absolved the young fellow. Then he shifted in his seat for perhaps the hundredth time that evening and pulled back the screen on his other side.

‘Bless me, Father…’ It was a girl, a young woman almost. And in a convent uniform. Father Sherd could not quite distinguish the emblem on her breast pocket — it might have been a flaming torch, the entwined letters B.V.M. or even the sacred mountain peak of Carmel. Her voice was soft and earnest.

‘Father, I haven’t come to confess anything tonight. I just want your advice. For a few weeks now, I’ve noticed this fellow staring at me on the afternoon train. I’m sure he wants to talk to me or ask me to go out with him or something. He wears the uniform of a Catholic college, but he has a rather odd look in his eyes.’

Sherd answered her without hesitating. ‘Don’t do anything to encourage the fellow. Sit modestly and keep your eyes on the book you’re reading. If he happens to meet your eye, just lower your gaze or look out of the window. He won’t get much encouragement from staring at your profile. I’m not saying there’s any harm in the fellow, but there’s no reason to sell yourself cheaply to the first young hobbledehoy who ogles you on a train.’

When confessions were finished, Father Sherd walked slowly along the path towards the presbytery. He looked up at the heavens. The glow from the city lights obscured the stars across much of the sky. It was Saturday night and thousands of young people were out enjoying themselves. He thought of the two he had tried to advise in confession. He trusted they would sleep a little more peacefully that night and not be troubled by impossible dreams.