Gerald Murnane - A Lifetime on Clouds

So fervid is Adrian’s imagination that in the course of A Lifetime on Clouds he provides nothing less than an alternative history of the world — from the Garden of Eden through to 1950s Melbourne — focusing on the role that masturbation has played in shaping civilisation. We are all familiar with Adam and Eve’s crime of eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge, and Cain’s slaying of his brother, but, according to the gospel of Adrian Sherd, what Cain did after spying on his mother and sisters as they bathed in the Tigris was even worse.

When he was alone again, he formed his hand into the shape of the thing he had seen between their legs and became the first in human history to commit the solitary sin.

Although it was not recorded in the Bible, that was a black day for mankind. On that day God thought seriously of wiping out the little tribe of Man. Even in His infinite wisdom He hadn’t foreseen that a human would learn such an unnatural trick — enjoying by himself, when he was hardly more than a child, the pleasure that was intended for married men only…

Lucifer himself was delighted that Man had invented a new kind of sin — and one that was so easy to commit.

If you only read one Gerald Murnane novel in your life, make it this one. There is so much pleasure to be had from reading this book that it’s surely a new kind of sin — and one that is so easy to commit.

He was driving a station wagon towards a lonely beach in Florida — an immense arc of untrodden white sand sloping down to the warm, sapphire-blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico. His name was Adrian Sherd. His friends in the car with him were Jayne and Marilyn and Susan. They were going on a picnic together.

They were almost at the beach when Jayne said, ‘O damn! I’ve left my bathers behind. Has anyone got a spare pair?’

No one had. Jayne was very disappointed.

The sea came into view. The women gasped at the beauty of it under the cloudless sky. Jayne said, ‘I can’t resist that glorious water. I’m going to have my swim anyway.’

‘Will you swim in your scanties and brassiere?’ asked Marilyn.

‘No. The salt-water would ruin them.’

Sherd pretended not to be listening. But his stomach was weak with excitement.

‘You mean you’ll swim in the—?’ Susan began.

Jayne tossed back her long dark hair and glanced at Sherd. ‘Why not? Adrian won’t be shocked — will you, Adrian?’

‘Of course not. I’ve always believed the human body is nothing to be ashamed of.’

The grass above the sand was lush and green like a lawn. Sherd and Jayne spread out the picnic lunch. The other two hung back and whispered together.

Susan came over and spoke. ‘It won’t be fair for Jayne if she goes swimming with nothing on and Adrian is allowed to peer at her all day. Adrian will have to strip off too. That’s a fair exchange.’

They all looked at Sherd. He said, ‘That wouldn’t be fair either. Susan and Marilyn will see me in the raw without having to take their own bathers off.’

Jayne agreed with Sherd that the only fair thing would be for all four of them to leave their bathers off. But Susan and Marilyn refused.

After lunch Susan and Marilyn went into the trees and came back wearing their twopiece bathers. Jayne and Sherd waited until the others were in the water. Then they slipped out of their clothes with their backs turned to each other and ran down the sand staring straight ahead of them.

In the water Jayne dived and splashed so much that it was some time before Sherd saw even the tops of her breasts. At first he thought she was teasing him. Then he realised he was behaving so calmly and naturally himself that she didn’t know how anxious he was to see her.

Jayne ran out of the water at last and Sherd followed her back to the car. She stood side-on to him and dried herself, bending and twisting her flawless body to meet the towel.

Sherd couldn’t pretend any longer that he saw this sort of thing every day. He stood in front of her and admired her. Then, while she sat beside him with only a towel draped round her shoulders, he made a long speech praising every part of her body in turn. And when she still made no effort to cover herself, he was moved to confess the real reason why he had brought them to the lonely beach.

Jayne was not alarmed. She even smiled a little as though she might have suspected already what was in his mind.

Susan and Marilyn came out of the water and went behind the trees to change. They both stared hard at Sherd as they passed.

Jayne said, ‘I still think it’s unfair, those two seeing you in the nude and hiding their own bodies. I’m sure you’d like to look at them, wouldn’t you?’

She bent her lovely compassionate face close to his and said, ‘Listen, Adrian. I’ve got a plan.’

After this, events happened so fast that he barely had time to enjoy them properly. Jayne tiptoed up behind the other two women. Sherd followed, trembling. Jayne tore the towels away from their naked bodies, pushed Susan into the car and locked the door. Marilyn squealed and tried to cover herself with her hands, but Jayne grabbed her arms from behind and held her for Adrian to admire. Then, while Marilyn walked around swearing and looking for her clothes, Jayne dragged Susan out of the car and showed her to Adrian.

Adrian lost control of himself. He looked just once more at Jayne. Her eyes met his. She seemed to know what he was going to do. She couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed that he preferred another’s charms to her own. But she saw he was overcome by his passions.

Jayne leaned back resignedly against the car and watched. Even Susan forgot to cover herself, and watched too. And the two of them stood smiling provocatively while he grappled with Marilyn’s naked body and finally subdued her and copulated with her.

Next morning Adrian Sherd was sitting in the Form Four classroom in St Carthage’s College in Swindon, a south-eastern suburb of Melbourne.

The day started with forty minutes of Christian Doctrine. The brother in charge was taking them through one of the Gospels. A boy would read a few lines and then the brother would start a discussion. ‘It will pay us to look very closely at this parable, boys. Robert Carmody, what do you think it means?’

Adrian Sherd had a sheet of paper hidden under his Gospel and a packet of coloured pencils on the seat beside him. He was looking for a way to make the Christian Doctrine period pass more quickly. Instead of drawing his usual map of America showing the main railways and places of interest, he decided to sketch a rough plan of his classroom. He drew twenty-nine rectangles for the desks and marked in each rectangle the initials of the two boys who sat there.

He thought of several ways of decorating his sketch. Because it was a Christian Doctrine period, he chose a spiritual colour scheme. He took a yellow pencil and drew little spears of light radiating outwards from the boys whose souls were in the state of grace.

Adrian awarded his golden rays to about twenty boys. These fellows spent all their lunch-hour bowling at the cricket nets or playing handball against the side of the school. Most of them were crazy about some hobby — stamp collecting or chemistry sets or model railways. They talked freely to the brothers out of the classroom. And they made a show of turning their backs and walking away from anyone who started to tell a dirty joke.

Next Adrian edged with black the initials of the boys who were in the state of mortal sin. He started with himself and his three friends, Michael Cornthwaite, Stan Seskis and Terry O’Mullane. The four of them admitted they were sex maniacs. Every day they met beside the handball courts. Someone would tell a new dirty joke or discuss the sex appeal of a film star or interpret an adult conversation he had overheard or simply report that he had done it the night before.