Nuruddin Farah - Hiding in Plain Sight

For the third time, the group dynamics change. It is like cards being reshuffled; there is no knowing how they will fall. It takes Bella less than a moment to determine that she won’t ask Valerie about Ulrika because she is undoubtedly not supposed to be in the know, and in any event, this is a matter between Valerie and Padmini, no matter how much the outcome might affect her. With Valerie right on her heels, Bella walks into the living room, and a hush descends, broken by a squeal of joy from Dahaba, who runs toward her mother and hugs and kisses her. Salif stops taking pictures long enough to say, “Hi, Mum,” from where he stands. Bella watches Padmini in nervous anticipation; she can tell that Padmini is as anxious as she is, neither of them knowing the outcome of the incident involving Ulrika. If Padmini, like Bella, has taken a gamble in coming to Africa, it appears that hers hasn’t paid off.

Valerie acknowledges Dahaba’s enthusiastic welcome then detours into a brief huddle with Padmini. Bella regrets that she doesn’t have a clear sight line to both of them or the ability to read lips, but from Padmini’s expression, she surmises that l’affaire Ulrika has been positively resolved.

Bella takes Valerie’s elbow and steers her over to Fatima and Mahdi, and then, as soon as there is an opportune moment, brings her before Gunilla. She has to give Valerie credit: she remains composed and unflustered as she shakes Gunilla’s hand. “Pleased to meet you,” she says, smiling warmly. They chat a bit, only glancingly acknowledging that they have spoken before on the phone, and Valerie slips away before the conversation can turn to anything substantial. Bella is relieved that neither opens a can of worms in public, and she is in her own way grateful to them both, especially to the unpredictable and volatile Valerie.

Bella asks Valerie if she has eaten.

“I’m starving,” she says.

“Come to the kitchen,” says Padmini, “and see what Bella and I cooked. There is plenty left.”

Bella keeps the children occupied with a spiel on photography so that Valerie and Padmini can have some time alone in the kitchen. She talks about what you need to produce photographs that can be sold to magazines and newspapers.

“I want to become a cameraman,” says Salif, “and maybe a filmmaker. I’ll be Somalia’s best filmmaker, Auntie, thanks to you.”

Bella asks what the others dream of becoming, and Qamar replies that she wants to become a literature professor while Zubair hopes to have a career in law. “What about you, honey?” she says to Dahaba.

“A medical doctor, to cure the sick, of whom there are far too many,” Dahaba says. “I’ll work for international charitable organizations, helping women and children, the poor and the homeless.”

Qamar asks, “And you, Auntie Bella, what other accomplishments do you want to attain beyond all that you’ve already achieved?”

Bella thinks very hard to make certain that whatever she describes leaves room not only for Dahaba and Salif in her life but also for Zubair and Qamar, whose mother is in such precarious health. She reasons that perhaps it is just as easy to look after four children as two, especially children so wonderful. She hugs each of them and says, “For now, my plan is to start a photo studio here and look after Dahaba and Salif. And I hope that you two,” she says, looking at Qamar and Zubair, “will spend a great deal of time with us too. Because you are my family, you are all I have.”

Dahaba, acting as spokesperson, says, “You are the world to us four and we love you, Auntie, love you to bits.” And they go into a group hug.

Teary-eyed, Bella leaves them in haste and goes straight to the washroom to have a good cry. She looks at herself in the mirror and washes her face in cold water. She emerges, dry-eyed, to find Gunilla still chatting with Fatima and Mahdi about Aar. Fatima is admitting to the crush she had on him that he just shrugged off. She nods at Bella and concludes, “The boys in the class envied him, and the girls adored him. Aar was special,” and then she lets her emotions take over, bringing her story to a tearful end.

Bella offers tea and coffee all around.

Mahdi and Fatima take the offer as a discreet signal that it is time they left. They exchange mobile numbers with Gunilla, making plans to meet at a time and place to be agreed later. Fatima says to Mahdi, “My sweet, let us round up our children and take them home, it is very late.”

Bella says to Gunilla, “I predict that the children won’t want to be separated and will resist going with their parents.”

“They are winsome, all of them,” says Gunilla.

“And they get on so well, the four of them,” says Bella, looking in the direction of the kitchen and wondering where Valerie and Padmini have ended up. Bella feels like a shepherdess trying to gather her unruly flock and failing.

Gunilla says, “Time for me to go too, dear,” and she is up on her feet. She stretches and says, “Must go to the gym tomorrow. I am out of shape.”

“I haven’t had a workout for days either,” says Bella.

“I’ll show you where my gym is, in Westlands,” says Gunilla.

“We have a date,” says Bella.

Fatima is back with Bella and Gunilla to report that Zubair and Qamar are, as Bella predicted, resisting leaving. Mahdi asks Bella if they can pick them up tomorrow. Bella says, “Of course.”

Fatima says apologetically, “You see, with no school until next week, they get out of hand,” although there is nothing to apologize for. They say their good-byes, and this prompts Valerie and Padmini to come out of the kitchen at last. They bid Gunilla, Fatima, and Mahdi good night, and Bella escorts her friends to their vehicles.

On her return, the children are taking pictures of Padmini and Valerie, and they want Bella to stand in the middle as Padmini and Valerie pose. Then there is a family portrait with Dahaba and Salif joining them and Zubair and Qamar taking photos in turn.

Before the children go to bed, Dahaba insists that she show Valerie the darkroom. Valerie is appropriately wowed and indulges her daughter’s over-the-top enthusiasm. Then more good nights, the children yammering up the stairs until their voices fade behind the bedroom doors.

In the kitchen, the mood is ominous, but Bella bides her time, gathering the plates and piling them up in the sink. It feels good to push back the chaos she associates with Valerie and reaffirm this new life where there is no room for clutter. She brings in all the cups, glasses, and empty soft drink cans, and begins to wash up.

“Drinks, anyone?” asks Bella.

Valerie says, “Just water for me, please. I’ll help myself.” Bella hardly dares wonder if she is to regard this as a good omen.

“And you, Padmini?”

“More wine, please,” replies Padmini. “And I’ll do the same.”

Valerie sips her water and says, “We are leaving at dawn, Padmini and I. I am packed and have booked a cab to the airport.”

Bella cannot believe that matters are turning out this way, with Valerie drinking water and refraining from sowing rancor. She wonders if she can trust it.

Then, as if at Valerie’s behest, Padmini says, “And we thank you for everything you’ve done. You’ve been the most generous host possible, especially considering your state of mourning.”

And Valerie, if a touch begrudgingly, adds, “And we mourn with you. He was a wonderful man and proved himself to be a wonderful father to our children.”

And what is there left for Bella to say but “Thanks”?

She is fond of silence, Bella reflects, in whose palatial space she can move around; she is seldom betrayed by the slip of her tongue, the way Valerie often is. But tonight Valerie seems to be a different self.