Nuruddin Farah - Hiding in Plain Sight

Bella brings Mahdi tea and pours him and her some. Valerie and Padmini take their usual sundowners. But the conversation doesn’t flow easily, and they are all relieved when the stairway echoes with the shouts of teenagers as the children and their friends roughhouse. Not that they lower their voices or make the slightest effort to calm down when they come into the room where the adults are. All four speak at the same time. Zubair and Qamar are impatient to get to the movie. “Dad,” Zubair says, “we’re going to be late.”

Mahdi looks at his watch. He says, “You’re not.”

Bella says, “The impatience of youth!”

“Please let me finish my tea,” Mahdi says.

“There is tea everywhere,” says Zubair.

They troop out, still full of excitement, and the younger ones race each other to the car. Watching them, it’s easy to forget that Dahaba and Salif have only recently lost their father.

Now that the three women are alone, the tension in the room is all the more heightened, and their conversation flows much less naturally. Bella points Valerie and Padmini to the liquor cabinet, saying, “Please do drink and be merry.” She moves away on the pretext of warming up dinner after taking their order for leftovers from the afternoon’s takeaway.

Valerie makes herself a whiskey on the rocks and Padmini pours herself some red wine. Bella takes only water with a slice of lemon. They sip their drinks silently, evasively holding back what is on their minds despite the fact that a lot needs to be said. Yet not one of them is prepared to speak.

Finally Valerie slips out to the bathroom, and Padmini hurriedly says, “We owe you a big thanks, Bella, for settling the bills. I’ll make sure we pay you back.” When Valerie returns, looking much the worse for wear, Bella abruptly changes the conversation and talks about the Nairobi weather. How cold it can get at night up in the mountains and near the lakes! Bella is too wary to trust that nothing nefarious is afoot, and she is therefore extra solicitous, fearful of rousing Valerie’s demons. What is more, Bella doesn’t want the rapport between Valerie and Padmini to unravel now that they seem to be on course for departure back to Pondicherry. She is relieved when the conversation starts to flow again, with Valerie suggesting they eat at the big dining room table for a change. And they find a legion of discussion topics that Bella presses into service, such as the state of their restaurant and hotel business, the children’s welfare, Bella’s place in the children’s lives — as well as Valerie and Padmini’s future. For the first time since Valerie’s arrival, Bella begins to feel the butterflies in her stomach settle.

Valerie says to Bella, “What occasion has prompted you to throw a party tomorrow evening? Of course, we are delighted that you’ve invited us too.”

Bella is aware that it won’t do for her to say that the party is their farewell party. “This is a welcome dinner for you, to which I’ve also invited friends of Aar’s, most of whom you haven’t met before. It is also a party I am throwing for myself now that my new life here in this new country is taking shape. In addition, I see this as a housewarming party.”

Gracious for once, Valerie says, “Thanks for the invite.”

After dinner, Bella drops them off at their hotel.

—

When she gets back home, Bella writes an e-mail to the Kariukis to give the house address and directions as she promised. Then she rings Marcella and leaves yet another message on her voice mail.

Finally, Bella takes the time to set up the darkroom. She puts all the equipment in place: an enlarger, an optical apparatus, a slide projector, sheets of photographic paper, a safelight, and the chemicals in which the paper will be immersed. To make sure everything is shipshape, she test prints a handful of photographs she took when she arrived here. The first images come out grainy and she isn’t terribly pleased with them, but she works at the images until they are sharp and clean. And because she doesn’t wish to sleep before Salif and Dahaba are back from the movies, she devotes half an hour to a long letter to Marcella, in which she brings the old dear of a woman up to speed on all that has transpired.

Salif and Dahaba get home close to midnight, full of beans and ready to chat about the film they saw. Bella, remembering that she has a dinner party to organize for tomorrow night, pleads exhaustion and retires to her bedroom, saying, “Good night. See you tomorrow, darlings.”

It is nine in the morning and Bella is in the kitchen drawing up her shopping list for tonight’s dinner party when her mobile phone rings. It’s Padmini, who offers to give a hand with the cooking. “And if you haven’t done the shopping yet,” she goes on, her voice low, almost whispering, “you can come and get me, and we can go to the Indian spice shop close to the Nakumatt.”

“Would Valerie like to come too?” Bella asks.

“I doubt it.”

“Is everything okay?”

“It was quite a fitful night.”

Bella knows there is no point in questioning her further; it’s clear there is a reason Padmini is not being more forthcoming. So she simply says, “Please expect me in an hour.”

She showers, puts on a pair of slacks and a pair of sneakers, and knocks gently on Salif’s door. “Wait,” he says, and when he opens the door, he is dressed. “Morning, Auntie,” he says. “What’s up?” He is ready to roll.

She tells him what her plan is. He says, “I know the routine. You want me to stay put and look after my sister and the house, right?”

She hugs and kisses him and drives off to get Padmini, thinking about her plight, especially if she can’t persuade Valerie to return to India with Padmini. She thinks to herself that one day, without warning, a door will open somewhere in Padmini’s mind or, rather, a sense of despair will stroll in and take up residence. Then the poor woman will say enough is enough and she will leave Valerie. That is the damage that divided loyalty does, and the signs of an inevitable split are there. Bella can smell it the way you can smell an approaching storm. Maybe Padmini senses it is time she ups and flees, the way frightened people flee an oncoming hurricane. But Bella selfishly hopes that the women manage to leave together and that their parting of ways takes place after they are back in India.

Bella parks in front of the hotel and doesn’t get out of the vehicle. She calls Padmini’s mobile, but there is no answer, so Bella just waits; she does not want to risk running into Valerie. It occurs to her that they are behaving like a couple having a clandestine affair. But Valerie doesn’t seem to care.

Bella’s thoughts are interrupted by the arrival of Padmini, and she drives off in the direction of the Nakumatt shopping mall.

“So what is all this cloak-and-dagger stuff?”

“After you dropped us off last night, Ulrika, the lesbian who has a financial stake in that raided club, BIH, came to the door of our chalet, veiled.”

“Veiled, as in looking like a devout Muslim?”

“Yes. And there was a man with her, a German. Ulrika was in need of a place to hide from the police. I didn’t want to oblige them but Valerie insisted. So Ulrika slept on the couch, and her friend slept on the floor of our chalet. Early this morning, the man left, but Ulrika is still there.”

It doesn’t escape Bella that it is her own munificence that is now paying to keep Ulrika free. I might as well join the movement myself, she thinks. And of course, here in Africa, where gays are victimized, harassed, and harangued, they could do with all the help they can get.

“Any idea what effect the current situation will have on your plans for departure tomorrow?”