Nuruddin Farah - Hiding in Plain Sight

“What?”

“Fuss or not, they always eat the food you place before them.”

Salif suggests sushi and claims to know where to get the best in Nairobi.

—

After allowing Salif and Dahaba computer and TV time, Bella decides to be a taskmaster for a change. In the sweetest way possible, she reminds them of their mother’s first visit here, and she says that given they haven’t as yet been in touch with the maid and that the corners of the rooms have been gathering dust and fluff wouldn’t it be a good idea for each of them to clean their room? Bella offers she will do her room, two of the four bathrooms, and all the areas that are of common use — today, at least.

They each do their part, Salif playing heavy metal, Dahaba fussing a little and then playing her choice of rock, and Bella saying nothing to either of them. They take a break at about four and shower, readying mentally for Valerie and Padmini’s visit. And since Bella has no idea what either woman would tell either child about her sexuality, Bella decides not to bother, much less worry about the matter.

Dahaba wants to know if she can invite friends home to meet her mother this evening, and Salif is of the view that the best way to welcome a person home is to cook — and maybe they should cook instead of bringing a takeaway. But when neither Bella nor Salif thinks that Dahaba’s suggestion is good, and when neither Bella nor Dahaba is of the opinion that Salif’s idea to cook will fly, Dahaba is the one who sulks briefly, retreats to her room and showers, then reemerges as if nothing has happened.

At six, it is time to pick up the sushi, but Dahaba doesn’t want to go. “What did I tell you?” says Salif. He puts the alarm on downstairs and tells her to stay up in her room while they are out.

She says, “You think I am stupid?”

He promises to get her a Big Mac, just the way she likes it. He turns to Bella. “She has the woman’s thing, I know,” he says.

Bella thinks about how the world has changed. As a young woman growing up in Somalia, she would never have told her brother about her “woman’s thing,” as close as they were.

—

In the car on the way to pick up the food, Bella debates how much of her own suspicions about Valerie she should air to Salif. But they have been gone barely five minutes when Dahaba telephones, asking how soon they will return. “Just stay put,” Bella assures her, “and we’ll be back before you know it.”

Salif says, “Dahaba hates being alone.”

The food court offers an assortment of fast food, but also a variety of international cuisines, mainly non-African: Indian, Chinese, and Japanese. Salif swears by the Japanese place despite the unlikely location. Bella gives him a wad of cash for the sushi and goes to order Dahaba’s Big Mac and some Indian food for good measure.

“I hope she doesn’t change her mind when we bring her what she asked for,” says Salif. “She can be a terrible brat.”

Within the hour, they return, bearing a variety of dishes — far more than they can eat today even if Valerie turns up with half a dozen Padminis.

—

By a quarter past seven there is still no sign of Valerie. The children are hungry, but Bella is happy to see that their banter has lost its sharp edge.

“Here, Chipmunk,” says Salif, offering Dahaba a chip.

“Give it here, you beastly thing,” she says.

They have a taste of the tikka, eating with their fingers, and put the rest of the food in the oven to stay warm and in the fridge to stay cool. Then they go back upstairs — Bella to put Aar’s room in order, Dahaba to continue watching a movie on the Internet, and Salif to learn the result of the Champions League game between Bayern Munich and Arsenal.

At eight-thirty, they reassemble in the kitchen and eat at the table. Salif says that eating at the table makes him miss his dad, who was a wonderful cook and made dinner for them whenever he was in town.

Bella recalls that Valerie can’t cook to save her life, although she is a stern critic of other people’s cooking — the food is always too salty, too spicy, the steak too well done, the rice undercooked. But she refrains from badmouthing Valerie in front of Salif and Dahaba.

Salif offers to wash the dishes, Dahaba to dry them. Salif says to Dahaba, “Since you have a visitor, I don’t mind if you go up to your room. I’ll wash and dry.”

Dahaba, a bit slow, says, “What visitor?”

But Bella sees where he is going with this joke and berates him for not keeping the promise he’d made regarding his treatment of his sister. Where does he get this macho thing, which is nothing like Aar? Helping Salif to grow into a young man who treats women with due respect is going to be work, Bella can see. She puts the leftovers away in plastic containers and says to Salif and Dahaba, “Help yourselves whenever you wish.”

They wish each other good night without referring to the guest who did not show up or call, and they head back to their respective rooms.

—

Bella sits up in a stupor, woozily unsure where she is and whether she is dreaming or awake. She hears a girl loudly weeping and a man’s voice comforting her. She puts on her nightgown and goes out to check. She stands in the doorway of her bedroom, trying to determine where the sounds are coming from and who is making them. She can see that the doors to the two rooms opposite are ajar. She finds the first room empty, but when she taps on the door of the second, the speakers fall silent and she pushes in without waiting to be invited.

Dahaba is sitting on the bed and Salif is sitting on a chair next to her, holding her hand, although he drops it when he sees Bella.

“What time is it?” Dahaba asks.

Bella has no idea; she is barely aware of where on earth she is.

Dahaba says, “Are you alright, Auntie?”

Salif gets to his feet and, as if he were dealing with a child who has awoken from a nightmare, takes her hand and leads her back to her bedroom, where he sits on the edge of the bed. “It is only ten o’clock at night,” he says, looking at the clock. “You’re in Nairobi, and you’re jet-lagged still. You’ve just awoken from a brief sleep. It’s been a long day. So please take it easy and get some rest.”

He offers her a glass of water, but she takes his hand to stop him from leaving. She doesn’t think she can bear being alone, what with this cocktail of troubling ingredients that she is gradually remembering roiling in her — Aar’s death, so much travel and dislocation, this sudden new role, Valerie and her lover hovering with probable malicious intent just outside the frame, and even the children not entirely to be counted on, as surely they will want to see where things stand for them before they throw in their lot with one side or the other. It is not in Bella’s nature to give up at the first obstacle, but she also knows there is no point in forcing children against the grain. Or maybe this is an early indication, if she needs one, that she is not ready to assume the role of mother all of a sudden.

Dahaba joins them, and Bella taps the mattress on either side of her, indicating that they should sit. “What woke me?” she asks.

Dahaba says, “Salif and I were arguing, and we raised our voices. We are sorry.”

“I upset her and she was mad at me,” says Salif.

Dahaba says, “You see, I’m easily upset.”

“Were you crying?” says Bella.

“Yes, she’s a drama queen,” says Salif. “But I admit I had a go at her.”

Just talking like this about a mundane sibling squabble is calming Bella down. She goes into the bathroom to throw cold water on her face, although this time she does not dare to look at her face in the mirror. She whispers a line from Robert Benchley to herself: “Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.” She stands with her back to the mirror and feels how fragile she is. In her current mental state, she can’t even tell what she is afraid of. But she has no desire to free herself of her new responsibilities either.