James Kelman - Kieron Smith, Boy

Now he was looking at his watch. Now he was going for the bus. Maybe you could do your job in the evenings instead. Or do not do it on training nights, even better. Come on now, the bus is waiting.

So that was him. I saw ones looking at me out the bus windows. I did not care about them. What he said was daft. But Matt said it too. Could ye not give it up for one night?

Give the job up for one night. That was just daft. How could ye give up the job for one night? Only if Mitch could do it but Mitch could not. He would not want to do it, but if he did, maybe he would, but it would just be daft, then if it was every week for one night for training, he would never do that.

So I could not go.

After the ist year Trials it did not matter about football. In 2nd year the same boys were picked. If ye were not playing in the ist year and going to their stupid training night ye would not get considered.

Them that got into the team acted like the best players, just showing off. And they were not. How did they know if not all had a chance? They were not the best and could not say it but they did.

***

But plenty in the good school were not posh. One was McEwan. McEwan played in the 2nd year team. He played in the ist year from last year and now he was repeating he just carried on. The teachers did not like it and did not like him but he was one of the best players. He was past fourteen. Boys went about with him so it was like a wee gang. He was not in my class but one of his pals was. Their class was iF and ours was iG. Sometimes they put us together for PE and games and sometimes History. McEwan's pal in our class was Webster. Him and another one made a fool of people and were ready to fight. Going along the corridors they kicked boys on the bum for nothing. They tormented them in the classroom, tapping them on the shoulder and hitting them on the head with rulers or else skelping their bum and flicking towels if it was the changing room. We did not have darkies in our class but two Jewboys and he done it to them and the Belgium boy.

But Webster was good at sports so was maybe a good fighter. People thought he was. He acted like it but maybe he was not. But ye were waiting for him to get ye and ye got sick of it, just because he was pals with McEwan. That was Gary McNab to Podgie, how he went with him. But McEwan was a better fighter than Podgie. He was older and just tougher, that was what I thought. But no Webster, I would never be scared of Webster. But Webster was not McEwan's best pal, that was Sabby, and ye would not fight Sabby, I would never, he just smiled at ye, but he would have battered ye. He was repeating ist year the same as McEwan. Sometimes they played football at dinnertime in the playground. People did not tackle much there but I started doing it just because I did and if somebody was in the school team, I done it to them.

McEwan was a good dribbler and usually beat ye. It was just a wee ball so he could do stuff with it, hitting it through yer legs. I went in and cracked his ankle, I did not mean it, he just turned quick so my boot caught him. Oh for f**k sake, he said.

Oh sorry, I said, but he just shook his head and pushed me, no for a fight but just so he could walk away. He did not come after me and did not kick me the next time. But he could have, he could have kicked me any time. Ye knew with McEwan he was a tough fighter. Him and his pals went to the cafe or else down a back lane to smoke and wait for lasses.

He sat at the back. If the teacher said a question to him he kidded on he did not hear. The teacher had to say it again, Oh Mr McEwan.

What, what is it — sir?

I asked you a question.

Oh, I did not hear you — sir.

Well?

McEwan just looked at him, who was he talking to. Then the teacher would say, I asked you a question Mr McEwan.

Oh, I did not hear you — sir.

And that wee space for sir, I did not hear you — sir. He did not say answers but knew them, just gave a wee smile. He spat on the classroom floor. The teacher knew but kidded on he did not. Once in History it was an old man teacher instead of the usual one and McEwan whispered, This c**t is a f*****g dickie. He done it loud so everybody could hear him. The teacher looked at him but it was maybe he did not hear it, or did he? No, he could not have, no boy would say such a thing. But McEwan did. Then a wee minute after he started laughing. The teacher kidded on he did not hear. Then he pished against the radiator before the class started. The pee streamed down the middle of the floor. People thought what it was but did not think somebody would do it. Then the teacher came in. McEwan just put his hand up. The radiator is leaking sir.

What did you say?

The radiator is leaking — sir.

The teacher came round to see. Go to the janitor's room and get a mop and bucket and ask if he will come and see it.

Yes sir.

When McEwan went to the door he brought a fag packet out behind the teacher's back, took out a fag and winked at his pals. He did not care if other people saw him doing it. Things disappeared out the gym changing room and people said it was him. The old PE teacher came in to tell us. His face was angry and he told us all to sit down. There is no place for sneak thieves in this school. Sneak thieves are the worst dregs and people that steal from their classmates are just filthy scum. He talked about other stuff, how if these were yer friends ye were to be loyal, friends were friends and if people were in yer class that was what they were, friends.

But then McEwan was there behind him and doing wanking signs behind his back. Ye could not believe he was doing it. What if the PE teacher caught him? He was not a coward and would say it. But if he did McEwan would get him. I thought that. I was glad the PE teacher did not see him else it would have been the worse for him because even if he was a man and a good fighter like a PE teacher ye still thought McEwan would get him.

There was shops near the cafe. I saw him and Sabby in one at dinnertime and they were knocking. I done it too with a bar of chocolate, up my sleeve. Outside the shop I took it out and they saw me. Sabby pointed over. McEwan just looked. He was the best at knocking. In one shop they kept the chocolate and stuff beside the fags behind the counter and people were watching ye all the time. Ye could never get anything. But McEwan was big and he stretched his arm right over the counter. He lifted a bar of chocolate and kept it inside his palm with his thumb holding it. A woman saw him. Her eyes flickered to him but she did not say nothing, because she was scared.

Boys in higher classes were scared of him too. I did not know any he was scared of. If one done something to him, he would just wait and get them after. Ye knew that with McEwan. Once I was reading a paper and he grabbed it out my hand and tore it up. I had not done nothing to him. He just walked away. Webster and Sabby were there and saw it. Webster was in my class and was laughing at me. But then McEwan got him. Webster was good at telling jokes. He started off telling one and McEwan said, Going to shut yer f*****g mouth! Eh? F*****g shut up.

So Webster had to shut up. I felt like laughing. That was McEwan, he even done it to his own pals. Maybe Webster was not his pal, maybe he just acted like he was.

Then in the cafe it was McEwan sitting behind me and other ones were with him. I was just myself. Two other ones were at my table because it was crowded. Drenching rain outside and just freezing cold. I was thinking about my deliveries because ye had to watch it if it was raining too heavy and the wet got in yer parcels because if they got soaked, if yer customers did not want them, it was you, it just came off your wage. So if I could get stuff off Freddy to put in the sacks and cover them. Freddy was good at helping ye.