James Kelman - Kieron Smith, Boy

And he punched me in the back and shoved me. He was like a real bully. I thought he was one. I was not to go with him any places. Just get yer own pals. That was what he said.

When we got home we were late for tea and my maw gived us a row. But he did not tell on me and how come we were late, we were just away playing, that was what he said, and I did not say about the boys punching me in the back close, I just went into the toilet and then came out and was washing my hands at the kitchen-sink. My maw was just heating our tea and then we got it, sausage, beans and chips.

***

My grannie's house was nearer school than ours. They stayed across the back. But it was not far to school from my house. It was at the top of my street and then along. Except ye could not go that way. Papes would get ye. Their school was at the top of our street. Ye had to pass theirs to get to ours. The Chapel was beside theirs. So they came out school and went to the Chapel. But the Church was not beside our school. That was what people said. Oh it is all for the Catholics. If the Papes had the Chapel where was our Church? There was not one, no beside the school. It was away way down the road. It was not near at all.

They had Priests in their school. Ye saw them in the playground. Some had big long coats. Then too the Nuns, they were there as well. Wee women with hoods over their heads and their cloaks, black and blue. What did they do? Were they teachers? Maybe if they gived lessons and the Bible. They had different Bibles. Or else if they were nurses. On the telly ye saw Nuns that were nurses. They walked fast and with their eyes to the front. Ye saw them get on the bus and they did not look at anybody except if they knew them, they just stared at the floor. But if somebody knew them first they said hullo back. Ye saw who they spoke to. Oh they are a Pape. Or else in the shops if the Nun was talking to people. So ye saw who it was, who they were talking to, if they were Papes too. Some ye saw in the street and did not know they were Papes till then they were talking to the Nuns. Ye watched for that. Usually Papes had black hair and peelywally skin or else ginger hair and freckles. My da said that, peelywally. But some did not and they just looked ordinary so ye did not know.

We could not go to school up our street because Papes were on the lookout and flung stones. They pelted ye. There were big fights at dinnertime. Boys flung stones into the playgrounds and the janitors and teachers had to stop it and if windows got broke, Oh the cops are coming.

We had to go other streets. Me and Matt went across the backcourt for a short cut. Except ye met boys that were Papes. Ye saw them and ye knew them. Ye jumped down off a dyke and there they were coming up. They just looked and did not do nothing. If they were going to shove ye and punch ye but they did not. How come? My brother said, Oh they think you are one, if ye support the Celtic, and he was laughing at me.

It was my jacket and trousers. My maw bought them and they were a bit like green. Not a real green. I said that but Matt was just laughing. Oh you are a wee Pape.

No I am not.

Yes ye are if it is green, green is a Pape's colour.

It is not green.

Yes it is.

It is only a wee bit.

No it is not it is a big bit.

It is not a big bit.

He said it was. Green was a Pape's colour. People knew that. So if my maw got me a jacket and trousers and they were green. How come? I did not want them. How come she got me them? If it was for me and not for him? How come? If I had to wear them. I did have to. She made me. She was angry. Oh of course you have to wear them do not be so stupid.

I was not stupid. She said I was, if I thought that about my clothes. They were not green, they were just another green and were not Celtic at all.

One time I went to school myself and just walked up our street right to the top and round past the Catholic school. The Chapel was there too and the door was open. I did not see in. I was not looking, and then was past it. Nobody came to get me.

They could not pass our school either. We had stones to pelt them so ha ha and we shouted at them. Catholic cats eat the rats. They shouted at us. Proddy dogs eat the frogs.

They went down the main road then round by our street but sometimes if it was ones ye knew, if they stayed in your street and maybe if ye played with them and ye just passed and saw them looking, so ye made it a secret wee look just if it was a secret wee hullo or if ye kidded on ye did not see them, they did that too. When ye came out to play at nighttime it was okay and ye were just pals.

***

On Saturdays we went to scrambles. So if it was a wedding, ye were looking for weddings. The motor cars drove away and men let down the windows and threw out the money and ye all scrambled to get it. No just boys and lasses, women too. If they saw silver coins they stood on them and ye could not lift up their shoes. Then if ye tried they kidded on they did not see ye or else gived ye a wee kick, but it was hard and made ye stop, so they got the money.

Scrambles were in Chapels and Churches. So if ye went to a Chapel scramble Catholics were there. We did not go to faraway Chapels and had to watch it at faraway Churches because other boys were there and were going to batter ye if it was their scrambles, it was their money, and you were taking it. So they were going to get ye. So ye just would watch it. If it was a faraway scramble ye waited over the street to see who was all there and if it was gangs or what ye just went away back to yer own place.

If it was the Chapel in our street the Catholics saw ye and it was okay because it was your street as well, and if ye were pals with them, sometimes ye were. They acted proud. You were at their scramble so ye had to keep out the way, so ye were not the boss, they were the boss. But if wee money rolled to you ye could get it. I had a pal and he was a RC, Michael Lang, he took me into the Chapel. I did not want to. I was scared. The big door was there and people were looking. He just walked in and did not worry about any of the stuff. It was to see if the wedding people were coming out. Oh come on with me. Oh you are just feared.

And he was waving to me to creep in, so I just did and then just to skip ben the front and then in the lobby.

Big doors were there and voices and coughing, and big statues, and all people sitting down and women too and all lasses then the Priest and he was up at the front and his hands were up in the air if it was a blessing, maybe it was. Ye got the blessing and then the prayers up to God and Jesus and so it was you oh mammy if people looked round, it was just you there. Oh it is him! See him!

I was needing to get out. The big statues made ye feared and all what was there, what the people all done and their hands giving wee signs that were for secrets and even if it was spells. Priests done it to ye and ye were in awful trouble. A Proddy could not make these signs, even if ye knew what they were. It would go against ye making them and God would see or if it made ye turn into one. People turned into Papes. So maybe if they were Proddies and did the signs and were saying all the stuff, so then that was them and so they were Papes, they turned into Papes. So that was them, and what would happen, they would just have to go to Chapel and if the Priest was there or the Nun, they would just have to maybe see them or talk to them or what it was, I did not know.

Michael Lang was brave because of all what happened to Papes. It was a shame for him. I saw him in my head. He was split in two, the bit I knew and the other bit was a Pape.

He did not have a big brother but two wee sisters. He stayed three closes away. Ye did not get Papes in my close. It was a good close. Papes were in bad closes. It all was dirty and all smells and noises and filfy filfy water. They did not have good clothes and were midgierakers. Their das done that, they just raked yer midgie and got yer old rubbish. The boys had no swimming trunks and got borrowed ones. Ye tied them at the sides and they were too big. They came down yer knees when ye dived in the water. People just laughed. Oh he is a Pape. He has not got any swimming trunks.