James Kelman - Kieron Smith, Boy

I went up the stair and chapped the door. I gived my own signal. My Auntie May let me in but then she went away over to help my maw. That was her sister. My granda was ben the parlour. The wee cat was in with him. I looked to see and it was on his shoulders. That was where it went. My granda was reading the paper and it just jumped up the chair and lied round them. I was saying how Uncle Billy's old pal was there for the flitting and Matt was helping but I was not to. Granda was tired. Oh would ye just go ben the kitchen son, see what yer grannie is doing.

My grannie was at the sink. She done that and did not talk much, just looked out the window. Ye could see the sky over the building across the back. It was our building. If ye looked hard ye could see our kitchen window.

My grannie was washing clothes, it was my granda's socks. I did not have any books and was watching her.

The big cat was there and I played with it. I could drag wool over the floor and under the bed and it chased it. I dragged it fast but ye were to let it catch the wool sometimes. It was training for the mouse. One time it just stayed under the bed and did not come back out. It was lying down and having a sleep.

My maw came a lot later and I woke up, I was lying on the bed in the recess. My grannie was going fast now and looking at us. Oh I will make a pot of tea, I will make a pot of tea. Oh no mum there is no time, the men are ready to go.

Oh but a pot of tea.

Oh but the men are ready.

Yes but you can stay a minute.

Oh no mum I have to go. May is down there too.

My grannie was just looking. Now my maw was greeting and she went and gived my grannie a cuddle. My grannie was her mother. When we were going down the lobby my grannie did not come. I was going to give her a cuddle but she did not want to. My granda came out the parlour, he went to my maw. Oh come here hen!

Him and my maw had a big cuddle. He smoothed my hair and gived me money. Now that is for you. And come back and see us.

So that was us and we went away. We were to go on the subway and the train. Only us. Matt was to go in the van with the men. My maw took me round to see them driving away. It was all packed inside. My da was waiting with Uncle Billy and Chick, they were smoking. Matt was up the street with his pals and saying cheerio. When he saw me and my maw he came running down. Him and Uncle Billy sat in the back on top of a carpet and squeezed in beside stuff. I was not thinking anything. They were laughing and Uncle Billy was making jokes. Chick slammed the door shut. Ye still could hear them. Oh where is the candles? Where is the candles! Uncle Billy was shouting.

My da went in the front of the van with Chick that was driving.

Matt's pals were there and waving when it went away. They said cheerio to me too.

Me and my maw were just going to the subway station. It was a long walk. A bus went but our family did not catch it. There was not the money.

It was a different walk from the ferry I liked it okay because there was shops ye could look at. One was a bike-shop with just all bikes and different bits, wheels and frames and saddle bags and all different. People always looked in the window. And a good toy-shop was there too, away along from a close with high dykes and big jumps. Matt and his pals used to go here and I came with them. I went with my own pals now, but not much. The toy-shop had all model yachts and model soldiers in the window, and the best trainsets. A boy in my class got one of the trainsets for his birthday. He could go to this toy-shop and get wee bits to go with it, a new carriage or else other things. He was a only-child and got pocket-money, so he saved it up. That was how he got it, his family was well-off. My maw telled me.

The rain was starting and she was wanting me to hurry but I still was looking in it. There was farm-animals in the window That boy in my class bought farm-animals. Pigs, cows and sheep and wee ducks, that was what he bought and it was just for weans and wee lasses. I said it to my maw.

Oh it is not weans it is children. Oh Kieron, it is children and girls, do not say weans and lasses.

My maw was sad if I did not speak right. I would have to start now I was going to the new school. It was all different there and just all nice and very faraway from the old place. Oh if I would just stick in at my lessons and stop all the nonsense. My head was full of nonsense, the teacher said, if only I buckled down. Oh Kieron you will buckle down, will you?

Yes mum.

She did not like me saying aye, and if I said maw, maw was awful and just horrible, she hated it. If I said it to her, Aye maw. Oh she would have hated it. I could never have said it. Aye maw. I said it into my head, Aye maw.

But if it was my pals and I spoke to them, I would just say it then if it was my mother, Oh it is my maw. And they would say it to me. That was how they spoke, and their maws and das too, some of them, that was how they spoke. I said it to my maw.

Oh yes Kieron but they are keelies. My maw said, Do you want to be a keelie all your life? That is what they are, just keelies. They will be stuck here till they are dead. They will never go anywhere and never amount to anything. You are not a keelie. Not in my house. And if you buckle down. Oh Kieron will you buckle down? Promise you will buckle down.

Matt could go to his Secondary School now and it was the very best kind of one so he had the very best chance in life. He was lucky. How did he get in? It was my maw done it. So when it was me she would get me in it too. I could go to it after. She said it to my teacher.

My teacher said, Oh Kieron has got it in him except his head is full of nonsense. If he would just stop being so silly.

I liked that teacher but she said stuff about me. I did not care. But if I did go to the good school. Well I wanted to go, if my big brother was there. So if people were picking on ye, a big brother stuck up for ye. Matt could stick up for me. I did not have a new school to go to. I would get it after the holidays.

Me and my maw were walking up from the railway station. She knew how to get to the new house.

The rain was on but not too bad. But it was a long long walk up and ye were getting soaked. Away over a big long hill and our house was way down the street, ye had to go away way down it. It was all quiet. Me and my maw were walking and ye heard our shoes. Ye could not see lights in many houses and could see in some windows. My maw said, Oh do not look, but she done it too.

All the furniture was shifted in, the van locked up and nobody there. Then a noise up above and a big voice shouted on us. It was my da looking out the window. Uncle Billy was waving down to us. Hoy yous two!

My maw was smiling but saying yous, she would not like it. You not yous, you not ye. Head, not heid. Dead not deid, instead not insteid. And not isnay and wasnay and doesnay. When I said doesnay my da said, Walt Doesnay, you do not.

My maw was laughing.

It was the very top stairs. That was smashing. I liked so ye could see out and just be over the top of everybody.

My da was there and he gived my maw a kiss then she went in the bathroom.

A cupboard was there for coats and jackets with all pegs and hooks. I was to put my coat on a peg.

Then the new bedroom for me and Matt. But only the same old bed. We were getting our new beds soon. Ye would get one to yerself and just kick out yer feet if ye wanted. He was lying on top reading a book. He was on the side near the window and his stuff all spread out. My side was the door and my stuff was there. Who put it there? That side of the bed was not my side in the old house. If it was my old side I would have been at the window So who done it like that? It was him.

I was going past to see in the cupboard then the first drawer but he shouted at me. Oh that is mine. You take that other one. Oh ye see that chair, it is mine, is not yours. You get yer own chair.