H. Adler - The Journey

Whoever is cautious journeys the longest. The Italians know this already, chi va piano va sano . No, no piano . That creates dust. It’s forbidden to bring along musical instruments because they disturb the peace. Whoever stows away a violin will be thrown out, the song is over. — If it were a journey to Italy I’d have no trouble traveling without a piano. Sun and seaside resorts help my rheumatism. — Yes, but they’re supposed to be bad for the heart. — Excuse me, but will we be allowed to send mail from there even if it’s not Italy? — No, it won’t be necessary, because you’ll have everything you could ask for. — As a child, Caroline collected postcards. — Nonsense, she is not a child. — Fine, but she still needs to know how I’m doing. — There’s no need, no one will feel lonely! — But not to be in touch by mail is horrible! — You can live without mail. Just think of yourself as dead and the appeal of correspondence will soon be lost. — But you’re mistaken, I’m not dead. Which is why I was shipped off. — Yes, of course, that’s right, pardon me, I forgot that.…

“Excuse me, Frau Schwarz, sorry to bother you, but now you really need to think about packing!”

Ida and Caroline get up. They realize that this day’s journey can no longer linger in a dream. Maybe Ida will still be able to stay if a miracle occurs. But one can’t count on that, and so it’s best to get ready. Ida must not overexert herself. She must above all take care of herself, and mind her hands. Yet she still has to sort through all her things. It’s lucky that they can still talk. Only the orders shouted into the room are a disturbance, but afterward it’s quiet again for a little while and one can catch one’s breath. Ida needs to eat regularly. No, don’t give anything away!

“So this frock can stay here, Caroline, you can have it. Maybe Zerlina can alter it if it doesn’t fit you.”

“No, Ida, take it with you! You’ll need it, especially when it rains. It will be very damp there.”

“The suitcase is too full for me. I can’t carry that much. I’m wearing what I need most.”

“Fine, but the frock hardly takes up any room, so you can surely pack it.”

“I most certainly won’t need it there. You can exchange it for some bread in order to have more for Leopold and the children. It’s made of lovely material. Just feel how soft!”

“No, Ida, that’s a practical piece to have with you, you look so lovely in it! You also need to have something beautiful to wear in order that you don’t look like a poor beggar woman. Maybe you’ll have even better luck bargaining for something there.”

“For bargaining I already have my silk shirt and my boots. They’re very good ones.”

“But they take up a lot more room than the frock. Take my advice, Ida! You also need to hide something away for yourself. As well as a supply of food.”

“I prefer to have that in my pockets so that I can have it with me on the train. You never know if you can keep your suitcase with you. I like to have everything right on me.”

“You’re right. And don’t forget your medicine, the drops for your heart.”

Paul runs around. Zerlina runs around. They want to prevent it all from happening. It is also said that the journey will not happen. That it will at least be postponed. There were still no wagons waiting. — But they will come. — You can’t say that. As long as they’re not here there’s still hope. — There’s nothing to hope for! — Whoever just gives in to his fate might as well let himself be buried. — That would probably be for the best. — Please, be patient! Maybe the war is over. Miracles do happen. It’s not so rare after all! — No more miracles will happen today. They’re long over. — There are black flags hanging. They seem to be mourning something. The war is going badly for them. They’ve lost another thousand aircraft. — That doesn’t matter. It’s all happening a bit late for us. That’s why it doesn’t matter who wins the war or who loses, because we have already lost it. — But there are still so many here in Ruhenthal! — Only for a while longer! Soon they will come for us. They’re just waiting for the schedule. By the end of the war nobody will be left here. Only a fool would think otherwise, no one will escape. — They just need able workers. — That’s a joke, for they’re only sending away people who are really sick. Ruhenthal is not a safe place to hide.

“So, Paul, what have you heard? Have you arranged anything?”

“No. Nothing for sure, yet. But maybe. I spoke with someone. If he can, he said he will.”

“Have you promised him anything?”

“I have. In fact quite a bit. I don’t even know where I’ll get it all. I’ve set something aside. I told him I could get the rest to him after the war.”

“That won’t mean anything to him. Anyone can promise something after the war. Here and now is what matters, Paul.”

“I’ll take my chances. But he says he’s not that way. He believes me. But he’s also afraid.”

“He’s only afraid if there’s too little in it for him.”

“What you’ve given me is a lot. But unfortunately not enough. Yet I know he’ll trust me.”

“Go, Paul, I beg you, now go!”

Then he’s outside and looking for him. He tells him what he can give him. He gives him what he has. It’s not enough. Paul ends up with nothing. Only promises. If it’s possible. He swears on it. Not easy. Dangerous. It could easily go wrong. Paul is much too weak. One has to be up to it. Zerlina is more up to it. But she won’t pay such a price. You cannot give up your sense of honor. You simply have it. It’s a part of your skin. You don’t carry it to market. No one can demand that you do. Decency cannot be bought. There’s nothing he can do for his dear aunt. Also nothing for his mother. Zerlina won’t even consider it. She’d rather get on the train. Here decency means nothing. And thus Ida has to get on the train. Caroline has made her some nice soup. The last meal of the condemned. Ida needs to build up her strength. She is still here. One roommate donated some noodles. Another, a teaspoon of dried vegetables. A third, a teaspoon of real fat. No, not just margarine. Such good soup warms you right up. Ida also receives a bonbon and half an apple. Dessert. Caroline refuses the quarter portion offered her.

“We’re so sad to see you go, Frau Schwarz. It’s the least we can do.…”

But after the war. Soon it will come. Everyone is waiting for it. From there it’s just a bit farther to home, but one can still travel back. First class, which is only fitting. Though Ida has never traveled in anything higher than second class. But then it will be time for first class. That will be wonderful. For we are the victors. We are picked up and brought back in triumph. The trains are decked out like young girls. It’s a celebration. The song begins. All the cars are full of gifts, namely those who have been saved. They are given lipstick and powder in order to get themselves ready. They still don’t look so good. Soon they’ll be better. They’re given everything. They marry. Good men are brought along. Each chooses the right man. Bright banners and colorful letters. WE ARE FREE! Everyone can see us. We’re not nuns. The veils have been tossed away. The children play. WELCOME HOME! At every station refreshments are laid out. Free buffet. The prettiest girls have been selected. Cute little dresses. The girls approach the train carrying cups of hot chocolate with fruit tarts and wrapped-up little gifts. Ida eats until she is finally full.

All fear has disappeared from the world, no one has to hide anymore, nothing has to be hidden. Jewelry is worn again once more. Freedom, freedom, to sit in one’s own apartment! How nice to sit next to the furnace. Just feed it another shovelful. There’s enough coal in the cellar. The curtains are drawn. No one can look through the window into the room. How wonderful it feels to sit so nestled in! Bunny the dog is back. He’s never wagged his tail as much as he does now. At last the dear lady is back. Everyone is here. Now Bunny can go for a walk. At last everything is right, and no one speaks about the old complaints. What you suffered the day before is no longer bad today. The journey is over, no one says anything about it. Parties go on for an entire month because peace has returned. Indeed, everything is much more wonderful than it has ever been, for only now is freedom truly valued.