H. Adler - Panorama

There was no way Josef could write about what had really happened, for he didn’t trust the mail since it was censored in order to make sure that the pupils didn’t spread lies or report anything that could do harm to The Box’s good name. In general, you’re allowed to write a letter home only once a week, but nevertheless, you must do so, which happens on Sunday, there being always something to tell your parents about, except for those who live nearby. The gathered letters then go to the head of the family, all the pupils being grouped into families, Josef a part of Ojt’s family, the head of the family having to read all the letters from his family in The Box, there being nothing more for him to worry about, since it’s not really a family at all, and in fact he lets the oldest pupil take care of the pocket money that he is supposed to disburse each Saturday, the money amounting to no more than is enough to buy three little clumps of malt, the administration reimbursing the heads of the family for it, since ultimately it is the parents who must pay. If you really want to write home, you go to the head of your family, and if he consents, then you can write an extra letter, which the head of the family reads through, and if he has no problem with it he seals the letter and makes a small mark on the back so that the front office knows that everything is okay, whereupon the letter is stamped and mailed.

Ojt would never allow Josef to write about the pig incident, the nicest of the heads would forbid that, and Josef wants to forget about it anyway. After a couple of weeks nothing more is said about anything that happens in The Box, since by then there’s always something new that’s happened, and you can’t keep up with every incident. Several times things have been stolen from Josef, yet the culprits remain unknown. Once his wallet disappeared from his jacket in the washroom, once his locker was broken into and a packet of food from home was taken, though when he reported it he was scolded, since he shouldn’t have had any food in there. Another time Josef lost his key, and when he left his desk open he told someone about it whom he trusted, but the other said it didn’t matter, to which Josef added that he kept his stash of emergency money there, which the other also said didn’t matter. But the next morning the packet with the money was gone, and Josef didn’t know who had snatched it, though the boy was shocked and said he was amazed how many thieves there were in The Box, and that something could just disappear overnight, after which Josef told Inspector Schuster about it all, but he only scolded Josef for having lost his key again, asking if Josef suspected anyone, to which Josef answered that he knew of no one, the packet never appearing again.

Josef grows ever more lonely, sticking to a corner of the courtyard on his own, though when the weather is nice and almost everyone is outside, he holes up in the classroom, where he reads a lot and feels best of all, dreaming of what the world outside looks like, all of it open and beautiful and unattainable, as in a panorama that you see before your eyes, but which you can’t enter, though he wanted to enter and go even farther, leaving The Box behind, Josef no longer having to spend time in the dormitory or eat with the students, The Bull’s screams no longer audible, and no one calling him a pig. But Josef can leave The Box only during the vacation, or in special instances, when a visitor from afar asks for him at The Box through Herr Lindenbaum in the visitors room, and if The Bull grants permission for Josef to receive a pass. As soon as Josef gets such a pass for an afternoon’s leave, he runs to the inspector on duty, who gives him the key to the clothing room so that he can put on a good suit, as well as quickly wash his face and hands, Josef running to bring back the key, at which the inspector casts another glance at him to make sure all is in order, upon which he runs into the visitors room to the waiting guest and is freed from The Box for a number of hours, though this happens much too rarely.

Only the pupils from the city and the surrounding area have it better, since they can leave The Box every week, or almost every week, as long as there is nothing going on, only new students not being allowed to go home in the first weeks, nor are others encouraged to visit them, The Bull very clear about this, since it does nothing to help them adapt to the spirit of The Box. Whoever has good grades can leave after the two o’clock meal on Saturday in order to get themselves ready, after which they are inspected and then get their pass from the same inspector, while others leave later in the afternoon, some having a bath first, though those who have gotten into a bit of trouble have to wait until nine o’clock on Sunday morning to leave, or even until eleven, though anyone who has behaved really badly has to stay at The Box. Pupils from the two highest classes who don’t visit their parents can leave on Sunday after the two o’clock meal if they are in good standing, something that’s called a free pass, though they have to be back by six o’clock sharp. They head into the city, most of them together, going to the movies, walking around, sitting in the pastry shop and stuffing themselves, some even going for a beer or a liqueur, which is forbidden, yet no one asks them about it, while at The Box they brag about it, and no one tells on them, for you can’t squeal on the older ones, it being a sign of disloyalty to everyone. Whoever doesn’t respect this is swept into a corner or a closet without anyone seeing and promptly thrashed and beaten relentlessly, Josef knowing this to be the case and having seen it happen for himself, though he has never told on anyone, for he wouldn’t want a beating, it all frightens him so, and he wants to remain free. Josef has discovered a way to get on Herr Lindenbaum’s good side. Accidentally, he had heard that you only have to give Herr Lindenbaum a present and he’ll be very friendly, so Josef had brought him a piece of real butter, causing Lindenbaum to wonder to himself and ask if Josef was regretting something he had done, but he said he was just happy to give him the butter. Herr Lindenbaum then took it and thanked him and said that Josef was a good boy and should make sure to come to him if he needed anything. This pleased Josef, for he already knows that Herr Lindenbaum lets a few pupils whom he likes out of The Box for a couple of minutes in order to buy some crumb, cheese, and pound cake over at the bakery, these being two of the nicest minutes you can have, except that they go by too fast, Herr Lindenbaum saying that The Bull was willing to look the other way because the grub in The Box really wasn’t all that good.

Josef had also discovered that the lenses for his glasses were quite specialized, because after someone in The Box yanked them off his nose they broke, and the optician to whom you were allowed to go from The Box, if the inspector gave permission, said himself that he couldn’t get these lenses for at least fourteen days, though it was easier to get them in the center of the city. Josef informed the inspector of all this, and he agreed that Josef had to get there, and for that he got a pass. After that he sometimes secretly smashed his glasses into the ground in order to get out of The Box for a few hours, except that it was too expensive to do so very often, although it wasn’t too bad, but he didn’t want anyone to discover what he was doing and it didn’t help all that much anyway. Josef did it only when he could no longer stand to constantly look at the faces in The Box and the courtyard and the classroom, it being wonderful when Herr Lindenbaum presses the button and the door opens, and Josef slams it shut with a bang, the first free minutes consisting of incredible happiness. He runs as fast as he can and thinks about freedom only for a moment, but it’s over before he knows it, for Josef cannot go any farther, as he would be caught immediately, which would only mean more trouble hounding him, and so instead he tries to enjoy every second, looking at his pocket watch, which others in The Box call an ugly old onion, because it’s not made of silver. Josef sees how the second hand continually moves and, once it has made a complete circle, before another minute has passed he has to be back in The Box, where the bell will continue striking, there never being an end to it. Then Josef puts the watch back in his pocket and only wants to forget it, vowing to have a bit more fun while buying some sweets and snacks, as well as a little present for Herr Lindenbaum, before he finally arrives at the office of the optician, who already knows him and says, “So the glasses have broken in two again? My boy, my boy, Zeiß the lens maker of Jena couldn’t keep up.” Then the glasses are fitted out, and it’s already time to return to The Box, Josef feeling numb, his head heavy, his heart almost standing still. And then The Box is there again and looks as peaceful as other buildings, it being larger and carrying a gold inscription with the school’s full name, Professor Felger sometimes commenting, “The institution is golden on the outside and cruddy on the inside!” Josef guesses that he should already be back by now as he slowly lifts his hand toward the doorbell, but he waits a bit longer, pulls the watch out of his pocket, and sees that there actually are a couple of minutes to go, after which he feels that he’s magnetized, as The Bull is by his wife when he has heart problems, though Josef eventually must yield as he pushes the button, Herr Lindenbaum looking out as it rings, and Josef is once again stuck in The Box.