Daniel Sada - Almost Never

“We’ll take you where we’re going: San Juan del Río; there’re three hotels there.”

“Take me to the cheapest one.”

Okay, so why didn’t they put him in the cabin? That’s easy: because a monstrosity of his size wouldn’t fit, and he lacked the strength to hold up his own head and neck. There were no questions or preemptory answers. The guessing game as to the locals’ motives trailed far behind, or we’ll leave for me — or you — to play. The fact was, it was to Demetrio’s advantage that there neither was nor would be any conversation.

How preferable, this lack of curiosity! The lucky star of the supposedly dying man was slowly putting itself to rights, scintillating, becoming — unscathed? Now the journey really would be made under shade’s treachery: until … or that was the intention, for the agony continued, because the sun’s rays penetrated the blanket, in spite of its heavy weave, playing havoc over that crumpled square. The itching was hardly tolerable and … San Juan del Río an hour later. Then the unveiling, which wasn’t carried out by Demetrio but rather … On to the hotel: the truck parked in front of, let’s say, a wooden-facaded oddity. It must have been quite dramatic for the old hotel clerk to see that stinking hulk walking and stumbling though not, no, not falling, toward the counter. She would have to ask the bum to pay for the night’s lodging, given that the sombreroed ones had already left.

“Of course I have money, otherwise I wouldn’t come here asking for a room.”

The clerk didn’t believe him. In the event that he couldn’t show her even one banknote of large denomination, no, not even the worst room would she rent him. The resultant anger of the supplicant, who dug into his pants pockets to find — ooh! — one-peso coins. He had a torn ten-peso bill: fatal humidity, and — darn! what fortitude it took to open the suitcase and extract a wad! in light of which: why, of course, in this case! and at your service, what’s more, a room facing the street: a fairly seedy street: without trees or lively colors to cheer him up: and thus it transpired, though, well: genuine privilege and rest: two words that were irrelevant, given the circumstances. Most urgently he needed to eat, bathe, drink water, and buy a shirt, a pair of pants — what a nuisance! Hours yet before the bliss of the mattress would be his … Let’s watch Demetrio walking through the streets of San Juan del Río: a stooped pestilence going this way and that. His return after obtaining the basics. Back and forth, carrying his suitcase — too risky to leave it in … he would never part from it. True, he returned to the hotel with a modicum of dignity, for he was sporting a new, flowery shirt — he so much enjoyed showing off this extraordinary extravagance, if only to bolster his spirit — and the locals took notice. A startling form with his head swinging low: never before seen: a reeking stranger bedecked in colors, cool threads, hmm, more like a woman’s, or those of an effeminate giant. Indeed! That strange monstrosity also seemed about to collapse in plain view; in fact, he staggered a few times: oh! but if we keep his lucky star in mind …

He had his sights trained on Parras. Demetrio had no other choice. Needless to say, the maternal mantle would be less than welcome. Ten years ago he’d understood the what and the wherefore of the blessing of being the only son. When he decided to find his own place in the world, his father was still alive, and, of course, that pair of old codgers and their overprotectiveness would have harmed him. So this homecoming: did it carry a stigma of temporary defeat? Yes, temporary, searing, painful, but, anyway, back to his plans: he would board a train to Saltillo, and now for a parenthetical datum: in 1946 the exhausting journey from Mexico City to Saltillo took place every other day. The engines ran on firewood, which explained the slow pace, as well as the plethora of steam from start to finish: an extended blur as long as the train itself … So not till the following day: an awkward contretemps. At the hotel they told him that the train stopped in San Juan del Río a little before midnight, but not tonight and hence the need for patience at that moment in the past, which in a few more minutes will be antiquity: forced tedium of a plot that can’t get off the ground. It would have budged slightly if Demetrio had gone out in search of amusement, but he didn’t, for the town had no brothels; cafés, cantinas: yes, though carrying a suitcase anywhere in the vicinity, but no … Well-lit locales, scourges that had lowered him — as we know and to all appearances — from a semivertical life … Now consigned to oblivion, momentarily, all the good stuff that had happened to him up to the very moment he had descended from the train at that gloomy station and all the bad that led to his being, as he was, between four strange peach-colored walls, overlooking that decrepit street, and, moreover, night, and, moreover, craving sleep. A mattress at his disposal: recuperation: twelve hours of flat-out recuperation: and even better: six more on the train, the one that would take him where he wanted to go. That’s where he was (to situate ourselves) when he awoke at dawn and couldn’t fall back to sleep, which anyway had failed to bring him any kind of revelation. Moreover: the revelation came during this nocturnal vigil, when he thought he saw Mireya’s ghost wandering down the train corridor. He saw her face in the shiny contours of the train car: a mortifying intermittency that vanished forever with the dawning of the first light of day. Many hours yet till Saltillo, and he even thought that the brunette might be waiting for him at the station, having divined her man’s trajectory and patiently waited, so he adumbrated a plan: keep going till Monterrey: the perfect way to avoid an untoward encounter. In fact, and finding him (as well as ourselves) in Saltillo: indeed! aha!: through the train window he saw Mireya sitting on a bench outside, or did it just look like her? or was it a ghostly sham? She was eating an apple. It was her! for sure it was, Demetrio hid, recoiling, squeezing himself into a tiny ball …

Fortunately, after fifteen agonizing minutes, the train departed the station. For fifteen minutes people were getting off and on: the people being the crucial part: a crowd, indeed, but no Mireya among them, or maybe he didn’t see her, but he had to walk through all three passenger cars to check if … and no — thank God! The giant returned to his seat with a smile. Then he grew serious, a bit contrite, due to the inconvenience of extending his trip to a place he didn’t want to go. Monterrey — what a bother! Another whole day of aggravation, perhaps two. Another hotel, more closed doors: where — what amusement there to find? The best thing — or maybe not? — would be to count the money in his suitcase. Which he did ten times and in the meantime concocted a plan to invest it — in Parras?

“And that flowered shirt?”

“I bought it in Oaxaca.”

“No, son, take it off! You look like a queer.”

“I don’t have another one. My suitcase was stolen in Saltillo. I was careless.”

“And your other suitcase?”

“It’s full of personal documents.”

When exhaustion mixes with haste, the most unexpected mistakes are made. This became the handle Demetrio resolutely clung to. We’re talking about a lie with branching consequences, branches that become increasingly resinous, so as not to say sticky and bitter, when clung to for long. First came the mother-son embrace, following Doña Telma’s surprise, incomplete (though growing). Why was he in Parras at this time of year? We understand they had a lot to talk about — subjects tending toward a reassuring futurity rather than a piecemeal recounting (these, as you know, being whoppers), until night came upon them. Nevertheless, Demetrio feted his newfound talent for fibs, amusing himself with his fictitious inflations: the primary fallacy being none other than that he’d been unconscionably fired from his job; his boss was a beast; two days before, he had fired five other workers on a whim; the man, like all rich men, was impulsive, capricious, and worst of all, quite desperate, wherefrom he derived all the other many reasons for his wear and tear, but one of the reasons he was forced to flee Oaxaca, which he offered up with a straight face, was that his boss’s assistant wanted to give him a thrashing: an envious and impudent man, a devious manipulator of a group of peons on the ranch in question, someone who for a long time had been plotting to take over his job and who, from one day to the next, had become the boss’s right-hand man. This story had many fissures, but his mother didn’t bother digging, she didn’t see the point in pressing to the bone what already appeared to be loose, false, and all the rest. Instead, her son’s arrival, in and of itself, thrilled her, and with teary eyes she confessed how lonely she had been and, well, just as she was about to launch into the familiar melodrama about her age and her many supposed illnesses, Demetrio stopped her, all he needed to do was utter one semisweet sentence: It’s so good to be with you, Mama, for the woman to be appeased, though her appeasement was short lived. As we’ll soon see: