Stephanie de Velasco - Tiger Milk

Hello, kiddo, says Tarik.

If I had a big brother I’d want him to look just like Tarik. He should have the same dark blue eyes, the same strong shoulders. I used to have a serious crush on Tarik. I’d listen to the lambada all day and imagine dancing with Tarik. In my daydreams he was bare-chested and wearing just a ripped up pair of jeans. I told Jameelah about it once and she just about died laughing and said Tarik couldn’t dance the lambada because he has only one leg because he lost the lower half of his left one during the war, as a kid. It’s true that he limps a little but I still can’t believe that he’s missing part of his leg, I mean, when he stands around he always looks so solidly planted, with his legs spread confidently.

Tarik can be really funny, no matter what Jamelah says. Just because she doesn’t get it sure as hell doesn’t mean he’s not funny. He does a great MC Hammer impression, for instance. Maybe he doesn’t do it in front of Jameelah because he knows she thinks he’s an idiot, that only makes sense. But he can also be really strict, which I actually think is good. On the back of Tarik’s jacket it says Teddy Dragon , which kind of sums it up perfectly. I think he tries to look out for me, for Jameelah, for Jasna and for Amir, all of us. Of course Jameelah hates the idea that he looks out for us.

I don’t need anybody to look out for me, she says, Teddy Dragon, what the hell is that supposed to mean, have you ever stopped to think what a teddy dragon would look like?

Jameelah says Tarik was only ever useful when he was still reading Bravo magazine and Amir could steal copies of it for us, and that was a long time ago, about as long as the bark has been growing over the yarn in those trees.

Amir comes down the hall holding Selma in his arms, she’s crying and Amir’s face looks funny too, like maybe he got smacked again. Loud music is coming out of Jasna’s room.

We want to go to the planet, you want to come, I ask, but Amir isn’t listening.

Jasna, he says tapping his finger on his forehead, she’s gone crazy.

What’s up, I ask.

Dragan bought her a bikini and she wants to go with him to the pool, he says banging his fist on the door to Jasna’s room.

Turn the music off, he yells, we’re all going to get in trouble otherwise.

The door flies open.

Get out of the way you dwarf, says Jasna, shoving Amir aside.

Hey, girl, she says to me coming right up close, her breath smells like Slivovitz. She dances off in the direction of the bathroom. She’s not wearing anything except a bright yellow bikini. There’s no question that it’s cool, along the hips and neckline it’s covered with bling and it sparkles as Jasna moves. Her impossibly long hair hangs down to the top of her impossibly long legs and it looks great no matter what Amir says.

Tarik hops up, walks over to Jasna, and grabs her by the arm.

Let go of me, shouts Jasna as the bling sparkles, let go of me, you cripple, and as she says the word cripple Tarik loosens his grip.

Jasna rips herself free of Tarik, runs into the bathroom, and slams the door shut behind her.

Selma cries and squirms in Amir’s arms.

Come out here, shouts Tarik banging hard on the door, but Jasna just curses, she curses in Bosnian and the curses fill the hallway. Amir looks at me as if to ask for help.

Come with me, I whisper dragging him out into the staircase.

What’s going on?

Amir sinks wearily onto a step.

Selma’s crying is getting louder and louder.

Give her to me, I say putting Selma in my lap.

Last night, says Amir, after I’d already fallen asleep, Jasna and Tarik had a fight, it woke me up. She told him that she wants to marry Dragan.

Bullshit.

It’s true, Amir says, she even has a ring, a real engagement ring, that he gave her.

Really?

Really.

The fight was so horrible that Tarik locked her in the living room but this morning she was gone, she’d broken the front door and gone to Dragan’s place.

Then what?

I took Selma into my room, she was crying because Jasna wasn’t there. At some point later in the morning Jasna came back and said she was moving out, she was going to marry him, can you imagine?

Seriously?

I’m serious. She says he’s really smart and all that, but you know he never even finished middle school. The worst part is that we can’t go anywhere since she got together with Dragan. They’ll never invite us to a wedding, you know. But Jasna doesn’t give a shit, she’s already packed her things and I know for sure that if she leaves she’ll never come back and when I say never I mean never, and now I’ll have to look after her all the time, Amir says motioning to Selma, and it has to happen now, right when the summer holiday is about to start. I’m not a girl!

Big tears roll down his cheeks and Selma starts to cry again.

Dragan, I say, you remember when he used to throw rocks down at us from the parking garage when we were little? One time I was bleeding all over the place.

He killed his dog, says Amir, he gave it so much Slivovitz that it went into a coma. That’s the type of guy he is.

I know, I say.

Amir sniffles.

Do you have cigarettes, he asks.

We sit next to each other for a while, smoking. Nobody says a word.

Are you coming to the planet?

Amir shakes his head.

I’ll call you again later, I say.

I still don’t have a phone.

Still?

No, Jasna sold her old one on ebay for three euros, Amir says tapping his finger on his forehead, three euros, it cost more than that to mail it, can you imagine. The point was not to give it to me, and really, as far as I’m concerned she can leave and never come back.

Here, I say handing the pouch of tobacco to Amir, you can keep it.

Thanks, says Amir and Selma calms down again too.

Where were you, says Jameelah when I go upstairs and ring at her door.

I was at Amir’s, I say, I wanted to see if he was coming.

Noura comes toward me in the hallway in her nurse’s uniform and kisses me on the cheek.

My little one, she says, you want to eat something?

What’s going on down there, asks Jameelah.

Dragan, I say, he proposed to Jasna and she wants to move out now. That’s why she’s fighting so badly with Tarik. She came out of her room wearing nothing but a bikini and went dancing through the apartment.

Jameelah laughs out loud.

It’s not funny, says Noura, they were screaming at each other all night, do you think that’s a good sign? I’m so tired, I couldn’t sleep at all. I have to go to work but some people just don’t seem to care, they think only of themselves.

Amir says neither of them talk to him anymore because of the whole thing and Tarik looked really sad.

Tarik, says Jameelah, he’s just jealous.

Jealous about what?

Jealous of Jasna. Because he can’t dance with his fucked-up leg. Because he doesn’t have anyone to give a bikini to because he’s just everybody’s big brother. Teddy Dragon will never find anyone, that ugly troll.

Stop, I say, that’s mean. Tarik isn’t a troll.

He is so, says Jameelah.

Enough, says Noura, you two shouldn’t get involved, I’m telling you I don’t want either of you to get involved, got it?

But Amir is our friend, says Jameelah.

I know, but there are things even friends can’t help with and it’s best not to get involved in something like that.

I’m not getting involved anyway, says Jameelah, I’m just giving my opinion.

I don’t want you to give your opinion either, says Noura, I want you to stop talking about it, she says as she glares at us like our teacher, Frau Struck.

Fine, says Jameelah.

We have to stay for detention again. During ethics class, Jameelah kept making comments the whole time. It was about Christmas, and whether Jesus was really born on 24 December. Jameelah said that there was no way sheep would be standing around outside a manger in the middle of winter like it says in the Bible.