Carlos Fuentes - Christopher Unborn

You filled my life

With sweet disquiet

And bitter disenchantment

that things were the way they always were, that the problem was how to deal with powerful men and powerless women, and she punching the dressing-table mirrors to pieces while her hairdressers fled in a panic and she with her bloody, smeared hands on her serpent skirts, on her rebozo with its little ball tassels, and on her powdered, depilated face, she answering the tender bolero with another tearful bolero, which she herself sang amid the ruin of glass and quicksilver and blood:

You passed right by

With nothing but indifference

oh, my love, my love, turn around and look at me, my love, be nice, here I am your lover girl, your lesser half, oh let me share your shadow, oh my love, she in love with him, folly, folly, she with all apparent power and no real power, she spitting on the mirrors and Uncle Homero Fagoaga staring at her behind the two-way mirrors, after having paid off the hairdressers with lots in Tumbledown Beach as a bribe so they’d secretly let him into that space prepared by the hairdressers to let in by means of moderate munificence (MMM) the voyeurs who might want to watch Mamadoc powder herself and curl the lesser parts of her body: with a kind of ecstasy Uncle Homero received the Andean spit from Our Lady of Mexico, humiliated but clean, anxiously desiring that Mamadoc land one right on his cheek, Don Homero coming with an unpublished, secret, oh so hidden and warm pleasure; caressing as well a small but growing hatred against the man for whom she made these scenes, squandering these passions: not on him, not on Homero Fagoaga, but on another man, hateful, hated: Federico Robles Chacón!

The rivalry between the two Secretaries of State (as our Uncle Don Fernando Benítez informs us) dates from the catastrophic earthquake of September 19, 1985, a date our uncle remembers for two equally sad reasons. First came the quake, which affected everyone, and hot on its heels he heard the news of the death, far away from Mexico (in Siena), of Italo Calvino, the great Italian writer who imagined that the earth was so close to the moon that we could all go there by canoe to drink Diana’s milk. He shared this grief with thousands of readers; but beyond the protective walls of his house in Coyoacán, Don Fernando also shared the grief of millions of people surprised by a physical catastrophe in which the image of the city became, as Benítez said, its destiny. And my father, to whom my in-fancies unite me every instant, repeated for posterity:

“From now on, the image of the city is its destiny.”

My father was deeply pissed off at the fact that the epicenter of the hideous earthquake, Acapulco, had remained unscathed. My father was a son of Mexico City, of its history, of its incredible capacity for survival: burned down, sacked, invaded, victim of wars and occupations, plagues and famine which in twenty-four hours would have finished off New York or Los Angeles, where since time immemorial people don’t realize that time is coming to an end and that the Fifth Sun is burning up and shaking the earth until it breaks it. For my father, the suffering and the resistance of the city were comparable only to those of the cities devastated by the war in Japan and Europe; he would have been interested to see New York or Los Angeles bombarded, with no food, occupied by a foreign army, besieged by a guerrilla insurrection. They wouldn’t have lasted a week.

From the time he was a boy, from the time he lived through the earthquake at sixteen years of age in the house of his grandparents, Don Rigoberto Palomar and Doña Susana Renteria, and miraculously the little house on Calle Génova, in the hardest-hit zone, had come through unscathed, my father was astonished to see that everything old was still standing, untouched: Aztec pyramids, baroque palaces, Spanish colonial buildings; and that only the new, buildings hastily constructed to pocket more cash, fell down inexcusably, with a mocking rictus in every broken window, in every twisted beam. My father walked around in shock that catastrophic morning: he saw the collapse of those plaster palaces, those cardboard castles: steel accordions, houses of cards.

My young father turned on his heels on the nervous sidewalk of Paseo de la Reforma; he didn’t know what to do but he knew he had to do something, a truckload of boys, some his age, some older than he, but all young, passed by, shouting above the echoing din of the earth and the chain collapses; a young, dark man wearing aviator glasses and a beige jacket held out his hand to him, and Angel, my father, jumped on, grasping that strong hand: they were going to the hospital, the worst collapse, don’t get worked up, Fede, your ma’s probably okay, said another boy, lightly hugging the leader of this first-aid group, which was not the only one, and as they made their way quickly that morning along Reforma, Ejido, Juárez, the trucks, pickups, vans, and cars filled with young men armed with picks, shovels, whatever they could find — their bare hands. Organized on their own, with a ferociously lucid instinct for survival, a spontaneous fan spreading throughout the city, half an hour, an hour, and two hours after the catastrophe. My father, Angel, looked into the eyes of those around him. As with him, no one had organized them, they had organized by themselves, and they knew perfectly what they had to do, without instructions from a government, a party, or a leader. My father was really outraged that the “killer quake,” as it was called abroad, or KQ, as it came to be known here and everywhere else, didn’t take place in Acapulco, and later on, when he went home, exhausted, thinking about what he might do, he painted a sign and he stuck it on a branch of a fallen tree and brought it out to the front of the house, proclaiming with orange paint, so everyone could see it: DELENDA EST ACAPULCO.

Even though he was just a kid, my father took careful note of the man who had taken charge of the rescue operation at the hospital. He was nervous, dark, he never stopped adjusting his aviator glasses on the bridge of his nose, his dark curly hair was white with dust from the dead buildings, his face, his arm, his index finger were like a compass needle indicating decisions, orders, and changes in the rescue operation: doctors arrived along with lawyers, engineers, and businessmen, men who abandoned their offices and shops to form human chains to the tops of the cement mountains, the wounded chain of hospitals, hotels, and apartment buildings devoid of breath, never to breathe again. A line of soldiers formed around the hospital. Desperate people clawed the ruins, isolated cries for help (from inside and outside as well) reached the soldiers, like a chain of voices identical to the chain of arms that passed pieces of cement, twisted wire, the body of a little girl in a basket from the top of the ruin down: some pieces of cement flew against the troops and struck their helmets, wounded their hands tensely gripping their weapons: bloody fists, the world like a vast bloody fist, soldiers, victims, rescue equipment. This is what my father remembers and tells my mother. A stone hit the helmet of a sergeant in charge of a squad. Even today, my father remembers the man’s greenish face, his black glasses, the stream of green saliva running out of the corners of his mouth: his invisible stare, his grimace of patient revenge.

He looked more closely at the eyes of the young man who had organized the rescue.

“Where is your mom?” a buddy asked him.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t matter now.”

But Federico Robles Chacón would count every minute, every hour that passed until the end of this story; he accepted the idea that he would never see his mother again. Hortensia Chacón had been hospitalized the night before the earthquake. On the other hand, as the days passed, he would not accept the idea of abandoning the newborn babies who were saved one by one over the course of a week, two weeks, little girls born an hour or a night before the quake, who survived in the ruins seven or nine days after being born: terrible images of the survival of the city, of the entire nation: a baby girl crushed by a steel beam, she lived; another baby girl suckled by her dying mother, she lived; a baby boy, stuck fast, with no food but his fetal fluids, with no air but that in his fetal hemoglobin, he lived — equipped to fight, equipped to survive; I listen to all this in the womb of my liquid, prenatal tides, and I want to weep in surprise, joy, and fear: I shall also manage to survive the catastrophes that await me. My God, will I also manage to survive, like these miraculous children who survived the Mexico City earthquake?