Harold Jaffe - Induced Coma

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A semi-sequel to the visionary
once again features Harold Jaffe writing to the Nth power, taking as his subject no less than the benighted globe. Including published mainstream narratives and “news” articles from the US and abroad, the collection covers an extraordinary range of subjects — activist art, global warming, revolution, the entertainment industry, and the freakishly banal happenings of our day-to-day lives — all of which the author deconstructs to expose their ideological subtexts in uncanny ways. Satirical, critical, tragic and ruminative, Jaffe works every register masterfully.
is a singular tour de force composed by one of the most innovative writers of our generation.

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Cody was uncovered when his playmates realized he had stopped breathing.

The five playmates, interviewed separately under oath, told the Snohomish County Sheriff’s Office that Cody’s burial idea came from the cartoon.

Naruto is “insanely popular right now with boys about 8 to 15,” said a source, who publishes a blog on video games & animation.

Lolita

A retail store chain in Britain has withdrawn the sale of beds named Lolita, designed for little girls, after furious parents insisted the name was synonymous with sexually active pre-teens.

“Lolita” is a 1955 novel by the Russian Nabokov in which the narrator seduces his 12-year-old stepdaughter.

Staff who administer the website selling the beds never heard of the classic novel, hence saw nothing wrong with advertising the

Lolita Midsleeper Combi — a whitewashed wooden bed with pull-out potty designed for girls aged 5 & 6.

Until a quasi-literate mom raised holy hell on a parenting website.

Stink Bomb

A Colorado mom with a nose for trouble marched her son into the principal’s office claiming he planned to set off a stink bomb.

As a consequence, Frederick High School was briefly evacuated on Thursday.

No bomb actually went off but police officers found a bag the boy left containing baking soda, flour, sugar and salt.

Evidently, the concoction would have to be set on fire to produce fumes.

Nor was it clear they’d be noxious.

How the boy is punished has yet to be decided.

Frederick is a town of 8,200 about 27 miles north of Denver.

Pet Girl

A British bus company apologized to a girl who is led around on a silver leash by her boyfriend after one of its drivers allegedly said:

“We don’t let freaks and dogs ride,” and threw her off the bus.

Dressed in Goth-style clothing with a silver neckband attached to a long silver lead, the girl, 18, said she was the “pet” of her 25-year-old fiancé.

“I don’t cook, I don’t clean, I don’t do anything or go anywhere without my master. To you it’s strange but it’s my culture and my choice. It isn’t hurting anyone.”

Freely

Dutch social workers have taken legal action to stop a 13-year-old girl from sailing around the world on her own.

They insist Mina Jansen be made a ward of the court so that her parents, who support her plan, forfeit the right to make her decisions.

Mina’s father, Pym Jansen, requested that Mina miss two years of school; the request was turned down.

Mina had a seaworthy sailboat by age six and was sailing solo when she was 10.

Since a child, I wanted to sail around the world , she told Dutch TV.

I want to live freely .

She (2)

At the Sololá market she bought a Bat Clan jacket woven out of sheep wool by the Cakchikel Indians.

She washed her hair in the volcanic lake.

She ate tortillas, chiles, and roasted corn in a restaurant then rented a room above the restaurant.

She sat on the old wood floor of the small room and listened to the night sounds. Laments of drunken men and drunken boys. Crickets sawing. Faint whistlings of a poorwill.

She smoked a cigarette.

She shared her narrow bed with fleas.

The next morning she rode a bus farther into the mountains.

*

That afternoon she drank beer in the dusty cantina outside Sololá.

She and 14 Ladino men.

Sentimental music from an old juke.

The men stared at her. One asked her to dance.

In the confined space she danced with the man whose head came to her shoulders.

Another asked her to dance and she danced with him.

When a third man asked her to dance she said, No. Horita me voy .

Two men, drunk, followed her outside, knocked her down, dragged her behind the cantina, brutally raped her.

You expected something like that so I provided it. It didn’t happen.

Abduct

Q abducted her ex-lover’s boyfriend after the ex-lover, G, had left Q for the male.

Q, 27, kidnapped Peng, 26, then asked her ex-lover, G, 23, to pay a ransom of 800,000 yuan.

G had been Q’s girlfriend but quit Q and began to date Peng.

A Pascagoula

Mississippi man thought he was at his girlfriend’s place when he stumbled drunkenly into a couple’s apt and fell asleep on their couch.

Returning from bingo, the couple found the stranger snoring on their couch.

They told him get out and he drove off in a rusty yellow Silverado.

Burn

A 14-year-old student set himself on fire on a Nagoya street in an apparent suicide early Friday.

The Aichi Prefectural Police received an emergency call from a passerby at 2:17 a.m. reporting “what looks like a human on fire.”

Police later identified the immolated boy as a third-year student at Fujimori Junior High School, in Nagoya.

His name was not disclosed.

An orange and green backpack bearing the boy’s name was found nearby with a lighter, tissue paper, a plastic bottle smelling of kerosene.

The incident occurred 4 km from the boy’s home.

There was no suicide note.

A Young Man

distraught after breaking up with his girlfriend hanged himself while she watched over a Webcam.

Fastening a rope over a ceiling hook he whispered, “I love you, babe.”

The horrified girl phoned police to stop him. They arrived too late.

The couple split 8-and-a-half months before.

Slimed

How did he exit?

12-gauge.

Males shoot themselves or hang.

Jump from the Golden Gate Bridge.

Females overdose.

His book, a slim volume, was published at last.

It failed.

Reviewers chastised the author for displaying excessive feeling.

“Like a woman.”

Sliming over his grief with their low understanding.

Tarantula

The owner of a spider had no idea his pet was the problem when he came to an eye clinic for treatment.

When the doctor told him she saw tiny hairs sticking out of his eyeball he remembered cleaning the terrarium of his Chilean Rose tarantula.

While his attention was briefly focused elsewhere, he sensed movement in the terrarium.

The tarantula had released a mist of hairs which brushed his eyes and face.

The hairs have multiple barbs encouraging them to migrate through the eye tissue to various depths.

Black Widow

refers to the assumption that female freedom fighters — Putin’s Russia calls them terrorists — are Muslim suicide bombers bent on avenging relatives murdered in Russia’s ongoing assault against Islamic separatists in the Caucasus region.

One of the Black Widows’ earliest interventions in non-Muslim Russia, was the 2002 mass hostage-taking at a Moscow theater by 41 Chechen separatists—23 were women.

Russian forces struck, pumped narcotic gas into the theater, killing all the attackers as well as 218 hostages.

Police footage showed Black Widows dead in the theater seats with explosives attached to their bodies.

The footage was later exposed as manipulated.

Queef

Julia queefed while I was doing her with my tongue & it startled the shit out of me.

I dove back in.

I soon learned that queefs were Julia’s body’s way of broadcasting how much she loved me.

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