Chuck Palahniuk - Pygmy

Same now, sister activate siren of rapes, create emitting ear-pierce screaming horn. Blinding loud so fill all location.

Wal-Mart slave Doris Lilly revealed as mole superoperative, buried secret agent for ensure success Operation Havoc. Bony skeleton looming power, poised so launch deadly fatal blow upon cat sister.

Feet operative me, flying elbows this agent, spring landing sock-block , Soaring Condor Double Strike maneuver, blocking fatal strike. This agent toppling superior talent superagent Doris Lilly. Body muscle operative me committing full treason. Betray own thinking machine this agent.

Instant quick then, Madam Cadaver spring returned to fighting stance. Reinforced also, flanked ready killing limbs operative Tibor. Backed slashing death kicks operative Mang. Chernok. Sheena. All agent ranked along superagent in opposition solely operative me.

Siren shrieking scream.

Launching then Flying Tree Squirrel zoom-grab , Flying Hyena lash-pow , Elephant Stomp, wish-bang , Lashing Lynx slash-scratch . Atmosphere blurred multitude flashing fist, infinite bashing foot. Vast vaulted assembly hall filled crowded screams all onlooker. Great rush for escape turmoil tumult gouging fingers, biting teeth.

Final now all operative converged destroy this agent, that now cat sister delve hand into own luggage purse, extract infamous killer attack phallus. During circle of operatives encroaching for kill, edging more close, host sister say, “Let’s hope my mom didn’t swipe the batteries.” Finger slide activate dildo switch, say sister, “And let’s really hope I didn’t totally repair this sucker…”

Edging more close, ranked wall of killer assassins stance ready for execute Cobra One-Strike No-Blood. For land Leaping Kangaroo Punch Escape. For render Barracuda Deadly Eye Gouge.

Jumping so legs make, pow-pow , Tearing Tiger, operative Tibor quote keen visionary, astute author D. H. Lawrence, say, ‘“They want an outward system of nullity, which they call peace and goodwill, so that in their own souls they can be independent little gods.’”

Crafting counteract, elbows operative me launch, rip-scrape , Clawing Cougar, during quote brilliant philosopher, learned professor Fidel Castro, this agent say, ‘“Men do not shape destiny. Destiny produces the man for the hour.’”

Throwing, sock-pow , Punching Panda, operative Mang quote revered Fidel Castro, say, “A revolution is a struggle between the future and the past.’”

Hitting, blam-wham , Striking Cobra Quick Kill maneuver, operative Chernok quote respected Friedrich Nietzsche, say, “‘One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.’”

Returning, sock-block , Flying Eagle maneuver, this agent quote acclaimed Fidel Castro, say, “‘Condemn me. It does not matter. History will absolve me.’”

Same current now, deadly phallus commence tremble. Pink phallus deepening more dark pink. Tinting red. Shivering phallus initial small wobble. Leap from cat sister hand. Trailing spiral black smoke, ricochet off floor. Midair thrashing, killer phallus spray heated molten plastic every all direction upon hostile operative. Suppress attack. Ignited fragments plastic spattering operative Tanek. Blinding operative Bokara. Torching head hair operative Sheena. Plumes huge flame, strong stink.

Siren of rapes always howl. Echo loud filling vast institute of Smithsonian.

Operative Magda hesitate, hold back from such array hazardous contacts.

Bursting battlefront of flying fire phallus, Madam Cadaver throw wild Lashing Lion, rip-roar, clubbing skull of this agent. Immediate capable and prepared for execute this seditious operative me. Create fulfillment Operation Havoc.

That then, voice say, “Pygmy, my man!” Male voice. Resurrected pig dog brother.

Leaping amid fray, host brother assume defensive stance, say, “You taught me too much, little man.” Say, “I got out of those ropes with no trouble…” Facing approach murderous cadaver, pig brother say, “What do you suggest?” Making steely eye, say, “Punching Panda or Lunging Lynx?”

Killer phallus providing aerial cover, bombing hot plastic. Obscuring conflict with black smoke screen. Choking soot and smut.

This agent stunned subsequent Lashing Lion impact skull.

Cat sister prepared disarm canister packed ready for burst legal tender.

On occasion American mob witness attack on this agent, mob riot in defense. United State citizen swarm, swamp, overwhelm Tibor, Chernok. Subdue Mang, Ling, Oleg. No longer passive, vast crowd surge for rescue operative me. Arriving as salvation this agent, sheer numerous hordes American citizen clumsy punch, push, grab so surmount actions operative Otto, Vaky, Tanek.

Madam Doris Lilly burst tension of accumulated career training, lifetime supermole agent, entire limbs rocketing for inflict, punch-crunch, fatal Monkey Mash upon all.

Same then, slow motion, operative Magda launch self in defense of pig dog brother. Magda leaping midair. Magda and brother collide simultaneous, blasting skull Doris Lilly. Inflict coma upon evil agent thinking machine. Throwing no conscious superagent to heap upon floor. Crumpled agent adjacent discarded own prosthetic teeth. Adjacent discarded scalp of gray curls. Rage subjugated.

Within that now most greatest victory. Magda and pig dog, beaming. Sputtering phallus routing attack fellow agents. American forces delivering rescue. Cat sister kneel so minister wounded operative me.

That same current now, dreaded “Peace Machine” explode.

Flickering American riches paper money showering, snowing blizzard, rain down so engulf all.

Begins here thirty-sixth account of operative me, agent number 67, recalling former practice American language studies. Classroom warren deep interior XXXXXX building. Capital city XXXXXX of best top glorious homeland XXXXXX. For official record, repeat recounting here formative history of operative me.

For reinforce early lesson training of operative me.

Benevolent much respected language instructor, making stance at focus all operative, say, “Hep cat.” Say, “Cat’s meow.” Say, “Cat’s pajamas.”

Repeat say all operative, “Hep cat. Cat’s meow. Cat’s pajamas.”

Learned, best-meaning instructor say, “Rumble seat.”

All student say, “Rumble seat.”

All learn so able repeat, “Soda pop. Twenty-three skidoo. Monkey wrench. Grease monkey. Raccoon coat.”

Seated desks, hands folded, eyes cast forward, all operative repeat say, “Heavens to Betsy.” Say, “Greased lightning.” Say, “Moxie.” Say, “Bluebird of happiness.”

As affirmation correct usage current modern American language, honored instructor say, “Now you’re cooking with gas!”

Same manner all operatives studied so learn repeat, say, “Workers’ paradise.” Say, “Heartless postcolonial multinational corporation.”

Taught say, “Venomous vipers of capitalist imperial United States.”

Taught memorize, implant within thinking machine, “Oppressive degenerate Western culture.”

Implanted quote from celebrated author, infamous sodomite Oscar Wilde, say, “It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion.”

In truth, many such facts actual outdated.

Admitting here failure of this agent. Operative me, traitor guilty of committing treason. Operation Havoc rendered utter aborted. Total disappointed of no result.

Begins here resignation of this agent.

Much shame saddled with great humiliation, this agent hereby admitting defeat. No able sacrifice life for state. Instead, have ended former life of this agent for benefit of host sister. In retreat, this agent seeking political asylum, adoption host family. All charges against host father dropped. Host family Cedar restored. All operative unmasked, held federal custody pending full investigate. As per plan, exploded cargo of dollars…legal monetary notes burst toward sky…except neglected this agent to taint said currency deadly neurotoxin. With full intention, no poisoned money, already operative me so seduced by affection for American parasites. Instead, “Peace Machine” merely geyser cash money into space. Delight assembled crowd children and adults of National Science Fair. Create vast celebration.