O'Henry - Rolling Stones

To see the bright sun beaming

Upon the old home farm.

And when I think how we milked the cows,

And hauled the hay from the meadows low;

And walked the furrows behind the plows,

And chopped the cotton to make it grow

I'd much rather be here dreaming

And smiling, only seeming

To see the hot sun gleaming

Upon the old home farm.

A Poet sang so wondrous sweet

That toiling thousands paused and listened long;

So lofty, strong and noble were his themes,

It seemed that strength supernal swayed his song.

He, god-like, chided poor, weak, weeping man,

And bade him dry his foolish, shameful tears;

Taught that each soul on its proud self should lean,

And from that rampart scorn all earth-born fears,

The Poet grovelled on a fresh heaped mound,

Raised o'er the clay of one he'd fondly loved;

And cursed the world, and drenched the sod with tears

And all the flimsy mockery of his precepts proved.

The lullaby boy to the same old tune

Who abandons his drum and toys

For the purpose of dying in early June

Is the kind the public enjoys.

But, just for a change, please sing us a song,

Of the sore-toed boy that's fly,

And freckled and mean, and ugly, and bad,

And positively will not die.

Lives of great men all remind us

Rose is red and violet's blue;

Johnny's got his gun behind us

'Cause the lamb loved Mary too.

--Robert Burns' "Hocht Time in the aud Town."

I'd rather write this, as bad as it is

Than be Will Shakespeare's shade;

I'd rather be known as an F. F. V.

Than in Mount Vernon laid.

I'd rather count ties from Denver to Troy

Than to head Booth's old programme;

I'd rather be special for the New York World

Than to lie with Abraham.

For there's stuff in the can, there's Dolly and Fan,

And a hundred things to choose;

There's a kiss in the ring, and every old thing

That a real live man can use.

I'd rather fight flies in a boarding house

Than fill Napoleon's grave,

And snuggle up warm in my three slat bed

Than be Andre the brave.

I'd rather distribute a coat of red

On the town with a wad of dough

Just now, than to have my cognomen

Spelled "Michael Angelo."

For a small live man, if he's prompt on hand

When the good things pass around,

While the world's on tap has a better snap

Than a big man under ground.

I'm thinking to-night of the old farm, Ned,

And my heart is heavy and sad

As I think of the days that by have fled

Since I was a little lad.

There rises before me each spot I know

Of the old home in the dell,

The fields, and woods, and meadows below

That memory holds so well.

The city is pleasant and lively, Ned,

But what to us is its charm?

To-night all my thoughts are fixed, instead,

On our childhood's old home farm.

I know you are thinking the same, dear Ned,

With your head bowed on your arm,

For to-morrow at four we'll be jerked out of bed

To plow on that darned old farm.

He who, when torrid Summer's sickly glare

Beat down upon the city's parched walls,

Sat him within a room scarce 8 by 9,

And, with tongue hanging out and panting breath

Perspiring, pierced by pangs of prickly heat,

Wrote variations of the seaside joke

We all do know and always loved so well,

And of cool breezes and sweet girls that lay

In shady nooks, and pleasant windy coves

Anon

Will in that self-same room, with tattered quilt

Wrapped round him, and blue stiffening hands,

All shivering, fireless, pinched by winter's blasts,

Will hale us forth upon the rounds once more,

So that we may expect it not in vain,

The joke of how with curses deep and coarse

Papa puts up the pipe of parlor stove.

So ye

Who greet with tears this olden favorite,

Drop one for him who, though he strives to please

Must write about the things he never sees

This is the Mexican

Don Jose Calderon

One of God's countrymen.

Land of the buzzard.

Cheap silver dollar, and

Cacti and murderers.

Why has he left his land

Land of the lazy man,

Land of the pulque

Land of the bull fight,

Fleas and revolution.

This is the reason,

Hark to the wherefore;

Listen and tremble.

One of his ancestors,

Ancient and garlicky,

Probably grandfather,

Died with his boots on.

Killed by the Texans,

Texans with big guns,

At San Jacinto.

Died without benefit

Of priest or clergy;

Died full of minie balls,

Mescal and pepper.

Don Jose Calderon

Heard of the tragedy.

Heard of it, thought of it,

Vowed a deep vengeance;

Vowed retribution

On the Americans,

Murderous gringos,

Especially Texans.

"Valga me Dios! que

Ladrones, diablos,

Matadores, mentidores,

Caraccos y perros,

Voy a matarles,

Con solos mis manos,

Toditas sin falta."

Thus swore the Hidalgo

Don Jose Calderon.

He hied him to Austin.

Bought him a basket,

A barrel of pepper,

And another of garlic;

Also a rope he bought.

That was his stock in trade;

Nothing else had he.

Nor was he rated in

Dun or in Bradstreet,

Though he meant business,

Don Jose Calderon,

Champion of Mexico,

Don Jose Calderon,

Seeker of vengeance.

With his stout lariat,

Then he caught swiftly

Tomcats and puppy dogs,

Caught them and cooked them,

Don Jose Calderon,

Vower of vengeance.

Now on the sidewalk

Sits the avenger

Selling Tamales to

Innocent purchasers.

Dire is thy vengeance,

Oh, Jose Calderon,

Pitiless Nemesis

Fearful Redresser

Of the wrongs done to thy

Sainted grandfather.

Now the doomed Texans,

Rashly hilarious,

Buy of the deadly wares,

Buy and devour.

Rounders at midnight,

Citizens solid,

Bankers and newsboys,

Bootblacks and preachers,

Rashly importunate,

Courting destruction.

Buy and devour.

Beautiful maidens

Buy and devour,

Gentle society youths

Buy and devour.

Buy and devour

This thing called Tamale;

Made of rat terrier,

Spitz dog and poodle.

Maltese cat, boardinghouse

Steak and red pepper.

Garlic and tallow,

Corn meal and shucks.

Buy without shame

Sit on store steps and eat,

Stand on the street and eat,

Ride on the cars and eat,

Strewing the shucks around

Over creation.

Dire is thy vengeance.

Don Jose Calderon.

For the slight thing we did

Killing thy grandfather.

What boots it if we killed

Only one greaser,

Don Jose Calderon?

This is your deep revenge,

You have greased all of us,

Greased a whole nation

With your Tamales,

Don Jose Calderon.

Santos Esperiton,

Vincente Camillo,

Quitana de Rios,

De Rosa y Ribera.

[Letter to Mr. Gilman Hall, O. Henry's friend and Associate Editor of Everybody's Magazine.]

"the Callie"--

Excavation Road Sundy.

my dear mr. hall:

in your october E'bodys' i read a story in which i noticed some sentences as follows:

"Day in, day out, day in, day out, day in, day out, day in, day out, day in, day out, it had rained, rained, and rained and rained & rained & rained & rained & rained till the mountains loomed like a chunk of rooined velvet."