F. Anstey - The Brass Bottle - A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four Acts

[ Horrified – to himself. ] Good Lord! He said he came in by the window! [ To Fakrash.] So you did that , did you? Then you took a confounded liberty! You'd no business to introduce clients to me in that irregular way! Don't you ever do this sort of thing again! Just attend to your own affairs in future. I understood you were going off in search of Suleymán. It's high time you started . You won't find him in this country, you know.

He is on some journey – for in Jerusalem itself could I find no sign of him.

Oh, come! You can't have flown as far as Jerusalem and back already !

Know'st thou not that, to a Jinnee of the Jinn, distance is but a trifling matter?

So much the better! You'll be back in the East all the sooner. And when you are there, you stay there. Don't get disheartened if you don't find Suleymán directly. Keep on pegging away till you do ! Why, the mere travelling will be a pleasant change for you!

[ On right of table; sententiously. ] Well and wisely was it written: "In travel there are five advantages. [ Proceeding to enumerate them on his fingers. ] The first of these is – "

[ Impatiently, as he moves to his bedroom door on right. ] I know, I know! Don't you bother to run through them now – I've got to dress for dinner. Just you bundle off to Arabia and search for Suleymán like billy-oh. Good-bye!

May Allah never deprive thy friends of thy presence! Never have I encountered a mortal who has pleased me so greatly!

[ At bedroom door. ] Awfully good of you to say so!

Farewell! Prepare to receive a reward beyond all thine expectations!

[ With his back to the audience. ] Great Scott! What's that old idiot let me in for now ?

[ Heard outside the arch up on right of central arch. ] Oh, whatever is it now ? What's 'appened? [ She enters. ] Goodness gracious! Mr. Ventimore, sir – what's come to the 'ouse?

Then — you see a difference, Mrs. Rapkin?

I don't see nothink as ain't different. For mercy's sake, sir, 'oo's been alterin' of it like this?

Well, I haven't.

But where are you going to 'ave your dinner-party now , sir?

Where? Why, here ! There's lots of room .

But I don't see no dinner-table, nor yet no sideboard.

Never mind – never mind! Don't make difficulties, Mrs. Rapkin. You must manage somehow .

I'll try, sir, but – not to deceive you – I feel that upset I 'ardly know where I am .

You – you'll get used to it. [ Persuasively. ] And you're going to see me through this, I'm sure. I must go and dress now. [ Looking round the hall. ] I suppose you haven't any idea where my bedroom is?

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