Sharon Creech - Absolutely Normal Chaos

That really made me mad.

First of all, why Beth Ann? Why not me? Not that I would join their stupid GGP anyway. They know Beth Ann and I are best friends. What are they trying to do, anyway? Beth Ann thinks they will probably call me too, but I can’t believe it. I told Beth Ann that I didn’t want to join their stupid GGP, and I asked Beth Ann if she was going to join if they asked her to, and she said she didn’t know . As if maybe she might . I said, “Without me?” And she said, “Oh, I don’t know!”

Mrs. Furtz came over after dinner tonight to ask my dad if he would kill a spider in her kitchen. I thought my dad would laugh at her, but he said, “Why, of course,” and off he went and she waited here and when Dad came back, she started crying and saying how she was so pathetic and helpless and didn’t think she could go on. Mom and Dad talked with her for about three hours in the kitchen, and they sent Maggie over to put her kids to bed. It was pretty sad. She looks horrible. You’d think the gods might have taken into account how much Mr. Furtz was needed at home.

Mom keeps asking Carl Ray when he is going to let his parents know about the money and the college education. Carl Ray has been saying, “Pretty soon,” but tonight he said he thought he would surprise them. He wants to take a week off work and drive home to show them his new car. He hasn’t asked his boss (the old Mr. Furtz’s brother) yet, though.

I’ve decided not to read the Odyssey at night anymore. I had such awful dreams last night. Someone was chasing me with this enormous pointed stick, trying to poke my eye out, and I was almost trampled to death by a herd of goats. So I read some Robert Frost poems tonight. I won’t write in red ink because I don’t understand poetry very well.

Robert Frost doesn’t seem to have a very big vocabulary. I bet he didn’t do very well in English. But once you get used to his poems, they’re okay. I’ve always liked that one about stopping by the woods on a snowy night. We’ve had to read it (and memorize it) just about every year in English. I swear, it’s every English teacher’s favorite poem.

Last year in English class we had a big fight over it, because Mrs. Zollar was talking about the symbolism in it and asking people what they thought the road and the woods symbolized. People were saying some pretty strange things. I could see how the woods could be death, but why would he think they were so beautiful? Then someone said, Well maybe the woods symbolized “fun”—like he wants to go have fun, but he can’t because he has so many more miles to go. Well, that was stretching it, I thought, but it was possible. Then people got carried away and started saying maybe the woods represented ice cream or surfing and someone even said they symbolized sex and it was all getting out of control and finally Bonnie Argentini said that the whole thing was ridiculous and maybe Robert Frost just meant for the woods to be woods and it made her sick how everyone was always trying to say what the author meant when no one could possibly know. Then Billy Kroger told her to shut up, that she was too dense to see the “hidden meaning,” and it all went to pot after that, with people shouting and stuff, and you could tell Mrs. Zollar was sorry she ever brought it up.

Mr. Furtz is in the woods, but I have miles to go before I sleep.

Oh groannn. Can’t write. Have the flu.

Still feel lousy but at least have stopped throwing up. Talked to Alex. He’s all better.

I’ve recovered. Now Dennis and Dougie are sick.

I finally saw Alex again today, but I couldn’t go anywhere with him because I had to help Maggie take care of Dennis and Dougie, who are throwing up all over the place. It’s disgusting.

But Alex and I did get to be alone for about ten whole minutes. Sighhhhh. Here’s what happened. We were sitting on the front porch, and he said, “I like it when you wear that pink shirt.” (I was wearing a pink T-shirt.) I never thought boys noticed what girls wore. I thought I could wear a trash bag and no boy would ever know the difference. And then Alex reached over and touched the sleeve of my shirt, as if he was checking out its pinkness or something. Well, when he touched that sleeve, I thought, Oh boy, this is it, he’s going to kiss me now. I could just feel it coming. I was dissolving into a blithering idiot.

But then Tommy started banging on the door behind us, and Alex moved his hand (alas, alas!), and Maggie said I had to go in, and I looked at Alex and he looked at me, and I said, “I like it when you wear that blue shirt” (he was wearing his blue T-shirt), and he smiled.

Ohhhhh. Is this disgusting or what? What’s the matter with me? Do you think he was going to kiss me? I wish there was a manual for this sort of thing, something that would tell you about holding hands and kissing. When should this happen? How many days should you hold hands before you kiss? Sometimes I just can’t wait for that kiss, but sometimes I think, Ugh! Please don’t ! I wish I’d make up my mind. I wonder if Alex thinks the same things. Do boys actually think about this mushy stuff? Or do they just automatically know what to do?

We’re going to the movies again tomorrow. Only this time we will INSIST on walking and NOT TELL Carl Ray where we are going!

Beth Ann has finally decided to take some action in her battle against Derek (who is now referred to as “that jerk”). She has read to me three drafts of the letter she is sending tomorrow. It’s all about how she loved him and trusted him and how he betrayed her and he could at least have the common decency to give her an explanation. She asked me if I thought she should send it and I said that I thought she should just forget him and NOT send it, but she decided to send it anyway. So much for my good advice.

The other thing she is thinking of doing is REVOLTING and shows you just how much this whole thing with Derek has affected her brain. She wanted to know, get this, if I thought CARL RAY liked her and if he maybe would ask her out if I suggested it!!!!!! I thought she was kidding, but she sure wasn’t. I said, “What for???” He’s four years older than Beth Ann, though I guess he doesn’t act it.

And she said, “Well, he’s kind of cute.”

And I said, “ Carl Ray ?” I really could not believe it. Carl Ray, cute? The same Carl Ray who sneaks around here and never makes up his stupid bed? That Carl Ray???

I told her I didn’t want any part of it, but she said that she only wanted to make Derek jealous, and if Carl Ray would ask her out, she would get him to take her to all the places she and Derek used to go so that maybe she would run into him and his new girlfriend, and that maybe if Derek saw her with someone else he would realize how much he missed her, and on and on.

Now, that’s a desperate mind at work, if you ask me.

I didn’t agree to anything yet. I said I had to think about it.

Honestly.

I have about a million things to say, but my brain is too mushy from being with Alex, so they will all have to wait for tomorrow. I do love Alex Cheevey!!!!

Saw Alex again, so cannot think.

A lot is happening, though, so I promise to catch up tomorrow.

There are wicked thunderstorms outside right now. The wind is bashing the trees around and the trash cans are rolling down the driveway.

Mrs. Zollar said that Shakespeare and his buddies thought that if there was a storm, it was because the universe was out of whack somewhere. And the Greeks believed storms were caused by gods who were mad at someone. Actually, I think it’s just a storm.