Sharon Creech - Absolutely Normal Chaos

Now I will talk about the truly wonderful and di-viiiiine Alex Cheevey.

He came over TO MY HOUSE on Tuesday. I was upstairs when I heard Dennis shouting, “MARY LOUUU, MARY LOUUU, THERE’S A BOY AT THE DOOR. MARY LOUUU, MARY LOUUU, THERE’S A BOY HERE FOR YOUUU.” Honestly. It was embarrassing. He made it sound like it was the strangest thing in the world for a boy to be here for me.

And when I came downstairs, there was Dougie standing with his nose pressed against the screen staring at Alex and there was Tommy right next to him, without any pants on at all.

Alex waited on the porch while I begged and pleaded with Maggie to watch Tommy and the others while Alex and I went out for a few hours. She asked me about a thousand questions (“Well, who IS this boy?”—“Oh, is this the Alex I met?”—“Don’t you want me to say hello?”—“Where are you going?”—and on and on in this singsong voice) but finally she agreed, if I would give her this red scarf I have. I gave it to her.

When I escaped from the madhouse, Alex and I walked to the end of our street and then I decided to show him the big tree over in the field, the one where Dennis, Dougie, and I used to go all the time, the one that looks like a fort underneath. So we walked over there and went in under the branches and sat down and talked.

I can’t even remember half of what we talked about. Part of the problem is I’m not sure I was always paying attention, because when I am with Alex my brain is like mush and mostly I am just looking at him and feeling as if my muscles are melting and my blood is filled with millions of little bubbles all fizzing around.

So we held hands right there under the tree. It was very romantic. And in the middle of that, do you know what he told me?

He said that he made up the Murphys—they don’t exist! All those times he was over on our street and up at the pool, it was just because of ME!!!!! He was coming over to see me, but he didn’t have the nerve to say so because he thought I would tell him to jump in the lake or something.

Can you imagine that?

Well, I love Alex Cheevey. I really do.

Good night.

Egad, Friday the thirteenth. Well, it wasn’t unlucky for me, at least. In fact, it was a pretty lucky day for everybody I know except Beth Ann. But I’ll explain that in a minute.

Carl Ray came home in his car today. I have to admit, it’s a pretty cute thing. A little black Ford with red (red!!! Carl Ray???) seats. He’s so proud of it, he almost died from grinning so much. He made us all come outside and look at it and sit in it, and after dinner he actually took me, Dennis, and Dougie for a ride in it to the Tast-ee Freeze (and he even bought us ice cream), and then when we got home, he spent about two hours polishing it, even though it was as clean as can be. Boy, is he happy.

Except for the ice cream, he still hasn’t bought anyone anything, but the Sears catalogue is about to fall apart from so many people looking through it.

Now, Alex. He didn’t have to be at work until four o’clock today, so we went to the pool early and then, on the way home, just as we were turning the corner of my street, who should we bump into but Beth Ann. Boy, was she surprised to see Alex Cheevey, the Truly Wonderful and Divine, holding my hand!

She stood there with her mouth gaping open. You could see all her fillings. Boy, did she look terrible. Her eyes were all puffy and red and she looked like a complete wreck. She said, “I need to talk to you, Mary Lou,” and she kept looking at me and then Alex and then me and then Alex, as if her head was on a bouncy spring and she couldn’t control it. You know those dogs people put on the back ledges of their cars? Like that.

Alex said he had to go, so off he went. (Sigh.)

I was pretty surprised that Beth Ann wanted to talk to me. I seemed to recall that the last time I saw her, she told me that I made her sick and we weren’t best friends anymore. But she seems to have forgotten that.

Well! To make a very, very, very, very long story short, she and Derek broke up. Apparently, Derek has been messing around with someone else, and the way Beth Ann found out about it was that she went to the store with her sister Judy, and when they came out to the parking lot they saw Derek-the-Di-viiiiine walking with some girl and he had his arm around her!

And do you know what Beth Ann did? She went right up to ole Derek and this girl and asked him what he was doing and he looked at her like she was a stranger. He called her today and said that maybe they should both see other people for a while.

God.

It’s funny, but if this had happened a week ago, I probably would have been happy in a very mean way. But now I feel sorry for Beth Ann, even if she has been acting like a real snot. I mean she was really upset, sobbing and all. I was afraid she was going to go completely hysterical.

The only thing was she didn’t even ask me about Alex, and I have to admit that even though I wasn’t ready to tell her any details or anything, I did sort of want to brag about him a little. But I could tell she didn’t exactly want to hear how happy I was and how wonderful Alex was when she was suffering this enormous tragedy.

I read Books Seven and Eight of the Odyssey but I can’t remember any of it. I haven’t been able to concentrate too well lately. I keep thinking about Alex right in the middle of reading.

Well, this evening was almost a complete disaster.

Alex came over at six thirty. We were going to walk to the movies. But first he had to come in and my parents had to do their how-very-nice-to-meet-you routine and check him out and all. They made such a fuss that it was embarrassing. You could tell that they thought he was an okay kind of guy, and I have to admit that if I was a parent, I would think so too. He just looks so clean and all. He didn’t talk much, just “hello” and “yes” and stuff, but I think they liked that about him.

Anyway, there they were going on and on about how nice it was to meet Alex and where were we going and when would we be back, and in the middle of all this, there sits Carl Ray watching TV, and Maggie walks through in her curlers and bathrobe, and Dennis and Dougie are gaping over the stairway, and Tommy is putting his finger in his nose. Honestly. What is Alex going to think?

I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

But just as soon as we walked out the front door and I was about to breathe an enormous sigh of relief, who comes following us out but Carl Ray, the Shadow. He says, “Want a ride?”

Alex was surprised because he’s not as used to Carl Ray sneaking up on people as I am, and I was surprised because I couldn’t believe Carl Ray was actually offering to do us a favor. But I figured he just wanted to show off his car and it would be nice to have a ride. So we said sure.

It was kind of strange, Alex and I riding in the backseat and Carl Ray driving us like our chauffeur. Alex was sitting way over near his door, and I was way over near mine. Carl Ray kept looking at us in his rearview mirror.

So we get to the movie theater and I’m wondering why Carl Ray is pulling around the back instead of dropping us in front, but I didn’t say anything. And I did think it was kind of funny when he pulled into a parking space. And I started to get a little uneasy when we got out and he got out too.

Sure enough, ole Carl Ray drops the big bomb: “I think I’ll come too.”

Alex gave me this horrified look and I gave Alex a horrified look. I said to Carl Ray, “You’ll come too ?”

And he said, “Yup. Might as well. Long as I’m here.”