Lara Bergen: Runaway Hit

Phineas and Ferb exchanged a look on their side of the table, then turned back to Ben. “No,” Phineas replied.

“Well, okay, then!” Ben flashed a wide smile and quickly whipped out a large stack of papers. “We’re prepared to offer you a very lucrative contract… if you’ll just sign exclusively with us for your follow-up single.”

“Follow-up single?” Phineas stood up, outraged, and leaned across the table. “Who do you think we are? Some two-bit hacks who’ll keep writing new songs just because you’ll pay us obscene amounts of cash?” He reached out and grabbed Ben Baxter’s contract and bitterly tore it into pieces. “Phineas and the Ferb-Tones are strictly a one-hit wonder!” he declared. “Good day to you, sir!”

And together with Ferb, Isabella, and the rest of the one-hit-wonder Ferb-Tones, Phineas marched out of the conference room without looking back.

Satisfied, Phineas pulled out his checklist as they waited for the elevator. “Diva tantrum… check!” he said, marking off the second item on his list.

The elevator doors opened and the group stepped in. As the doors slid shut again and they began to descend to the ground floor, Phineas listened for a moment to the catchy, mellow tune drifting down from overhead. It was their song!

“Elevator music… check!” This was easier than he’d thought it would be!

Back inside the conference room, Ben Baxter merely shrugged.

“Ah, who needs ’em?” he said. He held up a tape and his eyes flashed. “We’ve still got this videotape of their performance. We can do live CDs, DVDs, podcasts! Heck,” he went on, “we can digitally re-create their images to make our own sitcom— The Phineas and Ferb Show ! We can squeeze twenty years of entertainment out of this one videotape!”

He was so excited about the gold mine in his hand that he didn’t even realize what was happening outside the window behind him.

Across the room, another executive jumped up and pointed out the window. “Ah!” he cried. “That giant robot is coming right at us!”

Ben Baxter turned around… and could not believe his eyes.

Sure enough, as it continued on its path of destruction, Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s giant robot was just about to crush the Huge “O” Records headquarters.

Inside the robot, however, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was still earnestly grinding away at the pepper mill.

“Wow, you sure like a lot of pepper,” he told Perry, as the mountain of spice grew. “I’m more of a paprika man myself.”

Perry eyed the pile, then closed his eyes. With the cool resolution of a seasoned spy, he blew hard at the pile of pepper.

A cloud of spicy black dust erupted and filled the air.

“Kwahh-kuhh-kegh-kah!” The villain coughed. But he was not to be deterred so easily. “It will take more than condiments to foil my brilliant plan!” he spat as he waved the cloud away. His eyes grew wide as a deep, bellowing sound began to echo all around them. The floor, walls, and ceiling began to tremble and quake.

“Ah… ah… ah… CHOOOOO!”

The robot was sneezing! As it did, it shot Dr. D. and Perry out of its robot mouth. They went tumbling into the air and straight through the window of the conference room at Huge “O” Records.

They hurtled past the stunned record executives. “The tape!” hollered Ben Baxter as Perry flew by and snatched it out of his hands.

“Aaagh!” cried Dr. Doofenshmirtz as he and Perry crashed through the opposite wall and fell, head over heels, toward the ground thirty stories below.

Cool, calm, and collected as always, Perry grabbed hold of the videotape and pulled it smoothly out of its case. Then he tossed it around a flagpole like a rope as he shot past. He used the tape to swing himself safely around and onto the pole — while Dr. Doofenshmirtz kept falling.

“Aaagh!” the villain hollered. Bracing himself for the worst, he landed with a surprising boing! He’d fallen onto a mattress truck!

“Phew!” sighed Dr. Doofenshmirtz. “What an unbelievable stroke of luck!”

But Dr. D.’s luck was not quite as good as he thought. He had landed on an Amazing Folding Mattress Company mattress. Before he knew what was happening, it folded in half like a taco — with him inside.

“Oh!” he groaned. Then he sighed. “I’m okay. Still better than—”

BOOM!

The foot of his broken robot crashed down on top of him.

“Curse you, Perry the Platypus!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz mumbled from under the robot’s two-ton boot. Thanks to Perry, he’d been foiled again!

Phineas and the ex -Ferb-Tones were just getting off the elevator, completely unaware of the chaos and destruction the robot was wreaking outside.

They walked out the Huge “O” record company doors to find Perry, back on all fours, strolling by.

“Oh, there you are, Perry,” said Phineas — clueless, as always, about his pet platypus’s secret life. “Come on, guys!” he called, leading the group to the bus stop. “We still have one thing left to do.”

Back at the mall, the television announcer was just taking the stage.

“And the winner of today’s Super American Pop Teen Idol Star is…” He stepped aside as the curtain behind him rose. “Marty the Rabbit Boy and His Musical Blender!”

The long-eared musician patted his blender and took a bow.

“Oh, give him a hand!” the announcer went on. “He’s going to Hollywood!”

From a bench not too far away, Candace looked on glumly.

“Hey, Candace,” said a gentle voice from behind her.

It was Jeremy.

He sat down beside her — but even that didn’t cheer Candace up.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Candace sighed and pointed over to the bug-eyed rabbit boy. “I’m better than that guy!” she told Jeremy. “Oh!” She shook her head. “I should’ve taken blender lessons,” she groaned.

“So why did you run off earlier?” Jeremy asked her, confused.

Candace clenched her fists and narrowed her eyes. “My brothers!” she said hotly. “They always ruin everything!”