Lara Bergen: Runaway Hit

“Nice, huh?” said Candace, smiling. She was wearing the exact same red top and white skirt she wore almost every day.

“Yeah,” said Stacy. “You should have tried that on first.”

Eagerly, Candace handed Stacy her purse. “Let’s go!” she cried.

Candace was so focused on getting to the mall in time for the Super American Pop Teen Idol Star auditions, she didn’t even notice Phineas and Ferb in their room as she ran past.

The boys were both hard at work. Ferb was at the computer, and Phineas was on the floor with a pencil and a notebook. A rhyming dictionary was close by.

Phineas nodded his head. “Meaningless lyrics done!” he exclaimed. Then he looked at Ferb. “How’s the catchy tune coming along?”

Ferb hit a key, and a solid A-flat sounded.

“Excellent!” said Phineas. “We’ll be done by lunch!”

Then he looked around the room. “Hey, where’d Perry go?” The mild-mannered platypus, Phineas’s reliable pet, had been lounging by Ferb’s bed just a moment earlier…

Little did Phineas, Ferb, or anyone else in their family know that their pet, Perry, wasn’t just any old platypus. Oh, no. When he wasn’t lying around and making weird chirping noises in front of the boys, he was off defending the world from his archnemesis, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, evil genius (to use the term loosely) extraordinaire.

And that’s exactly where he was headed that day.

Out in the hall, with a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure nobody was watching, Perry popped up on two legs and ducked into the nearest bathroom.

The door closed— SLAM! — and with a flush, Perry was gone. He was whisked down through the plumbing to his secret hideout under Phineas and Ferb’s house.

Unlike Phineas and Ferb’s modest suburban home, Perry’s headquarters were outfitted in high-tech equipment and surveillance devices. There were jet packs and space suits and a closet full of clever disguises, plus an entire wall of high-speed computers and satellite feeds.

“Hello… hello? Anybody there?” A giant, white-mustached face stared out from an enormous high-def screen at the center of Agent P’s cave. It was Perry’s superior officer and mission-assigner, Major Monogram, looking lonely and a little confused.

“Oh!” he said, relieved, as Perry landed with a SPLASH! in front of him. “Good morning, Agent P! We’ve just received word that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been buying up construction toys at an alarming rate. We need you to find out what he’s up to and… put a stop to it!”

Perry raised his front paw in an “aye-aye” salute and was on it in a flash.

He hurried over to his fleet of spy vehicles — he had everything from a jet-powered skateboard to a nuclear submarine — and chose a sleek-looking motor scooter. He leaped on and gunned the engine as a hydraulic lift in the floor began to raise him to the street. When he reached the surface, the road flipped to let him through. And with a deep BRRUMMM! he was off.

Of course, even supersecret agents on urgent missions have to stop at red lights. (It’s the law, after all.) The last thing he expected, however, was for Phineas and Ferb’s mom to pull up right beside him on her way to the mall with Candace and Stacy. He turned and— gulp! — saw Linda turn his way.

Good thing he had a fake mustache, nose, and glasses handy! Perry slipped them on and disguised himself just as Linda did a double take, mouth agape and eyes wide.

Huh? thought Linda, taking a closer look at the scooter rider alongside her car. He looked oddly familiar. Could it possibly be…

But the next thing Linda knew, the light had turned green and the mysterious character was gone.

Later, at the Googolplex Mall, Candace and Stacy were ready to win!

“We’ll meet back at the entrance in an hour,” Linda told them.

“Come on, Stacy,” Candace urged her friend, practically dragging her past the keychain booths and sunglasses stalls. “We gotta hurry so we can get a spot in li—”

Candace’s jaw dropped to the floor as they stepped up to join a line that seemed to go on and on for miles. Her eyes followed the line as it wound its way to the spotlighted stage.

All of a sudden she felt… nervous ! Nervous was not something Candace was used to feeling. “I’ve never sung in front of so many people!” she gasped.

Stacy tapped her on the shoulder. “Uh… Candace?” She motioned over her shoulder to the even larger crowd of spectators standing on the other side.

“Ugh!” Candace’s nervousness quickly turned to panic. “I can’t do this!” she squealed.

“Oh, yes, you can!” said Stacy. She took Candace by the shoulders and looked her in the eye. “You’re not a quitter, you’re a fighter!”

“I am?” said Candace meekly.

“Sure you are,” said Stacy. “You’re a lean, mean, singing machine.”

The pep talk worked. Candace squared her jaw and made fists with both hands. Then she attacked Stacy’s purse as if it were a punching bag and she were the heavyweight champion of the world.

“Grrrr!” she growled, working herself into a frenzy.

“That’s it!” Stacy encouraged her. “Yeah! Now you’re looking like a winner.”

Candace threw one more round of punches. Then she doubled over, exhausted. She was dripping with sweat, her hair was a mess, and she was panting like a dog that hadn’t had a drink for days.

“Hey, Candace.” She froze. No! It couldn’t be… she thought.

She looked over her shoulder. Yikes! It was!

Jeremy. The object of her biggest, most ginormous, crush ever! She hurriedly smoothed her hair and tucked her blouse back into her skirt.

“And that is what a gorilla looks like when you try to take away his food,” she said brightly to Stacy. She laughed and turned around. “Oh! Hi, Jeremy!” She hoped she looked convincingly casual and surprised. “Are you auditioning, too?”

“Nah.” He held up the small white music player he was holding in his hand. “I came to see this hot new band called P.F.T. I downloaded their song this morning. It’s tight ! The hundredth contestant gets to sing onstage with the band!”