Bel Kaufman - Up The Down Staircase

Dear Miss Barrett,

I am hereby submitting a Book Report I wrote for extra credit. I hope you will raise my mark since I need to have it raised. In the past I have always usually had excellent marks in English.

Harry A. Kagan

(The Students Choice)

My Reading Life

My reading life has quite a variation and is more wider than the average student. I enjoy indulging in many types of great literature, both fiction and nonfiction books as well as others. Mr. Hemingway's works gave me a very favorable impression of Mr. Hemingway as a writer. I would recommend it to any one. One author I did not care for was Mr. Faulkner. I didn't get any enjoyment out of him. Another book I did not particularly enjoy was "War and Peace" by Mr. Tolstoy. It was much too long to read it and has too many characters with similiar names. I've also read quite a few other fiction novels that I won't mention here. I consider reading one of my most useful hobbies.

Miss Barett, You said we could put in your letter box Extra Credit reports on books we read outside of school and due to Midterms and horsing around I need that E. Credit! I demand you

give it to me! Ha-ha joke! But every little bit counts!

Lou Martin

Three Important Myth

by Lou Martin

1. There was once a boy and girl but their familys were always arguing so naturally these two children or people would meet each other on the sly. One day a bleeding lion came along. Horrorfied she ran away leaving her scarf! The lion played with it for a while and then went away. The boy came back and seeing the bleeding scarf taught that she was killed. Remosely he took his knife and his life! The girl saw her boy-friend was dead and she decided to kill her self! The 2 familys seeing their dear children dead realised how silly they were & became friends after learning a horrorful lesson. The same conflict appears in Shakespeer.

2. Pygmalian was a myth who was a sculpture. He was the type of man who didn't like women particulally but this story changes this. One day he made a statue of his wife-to-be and put in everything he wanted just so and when it was finished he wanted to marry her but since she wasn't alive he couldn't very well do so. What to do? Pray, of course, which he did to the G—ss of love who made her alive! From this we get My Fair Lady and others.

3. Adonis was a handsome youth from Asia Miner and Venus was the G—ss of love. She use to spend all her time going hunting with him and fishing and other sports. All the manly outlets of life! One day while Adonis went hunting a wild bore killed him and all the Gods pitied Venus so much they then allowed him to rise from the dead to dwell as her husband part time. During the months in which he visits we call Springtime.

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 508

TO: 304

Dear Syl,

Welcome back! You were much missed yesterday! By Paul, who kept revising verses he was writing you. By your Joe Ferone, who wandered, listless and passless, through the corridors and out of the building before the PM check-out. By McHabe, who was summoned by the unnerved substitute to sit on your classes. By your kids. And, of course, by me.

Are you all right? Wild rumor has it that you had 1. eloped 2. collapsed beneath a pile of records 3. gone to the movies in the daytime! Which is it?

Bea

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 304

TO: 508

Dear Bea—

If I have to check one, I’ll take #3.

Actually, I spent the day at Willowdale Academy, being interviewed for a possible February job. From where I sit, it's very tempting.

Came back to find my door fixed at last; it opens and closes now. But—two chairs are broken. Fair exchange!

Do the CC's go on the right or the left of the blue line on the PRC?

Syl

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 508

TO: 304

Dear Syl,

Fie on Willowdale! Don't you know how much you're needed right here? My underground informs me there was prolonged applause when your kids saw you back in classroom.

As for capsule characterizations, they go on right of blue line; you should have been paying attention at October Faculty Conference. I've discovered a boy on my register for whom I can't make out a CC or a final mark: I never laid eyes on him! He's been spending his English period every day, since the beginning of term, sitting in the office, being disciplined for something or other—no one can recall what!

Bea

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 304

TO: 508

Dear Bea—

My problem is CC's of kids who are present. Wish I could say something honest, like:

"Sycophant, stuffed-shirt, stinker. Has finger in every school pie; will go far."

or "What is she doing studying French verbs? Marry her off—and fast!"

or "Let's not lie to him about equality of opportunity!"

But, like the rest of us, I have to settle for:

"Leadership potential."

"Works to capacity."

"Should try harder."

One thing about Willowdale—there's no J.J. McH. there. Did you get his latest, alerting teachers to "epidemic of glue-sniffling"? And no Sadie Finch, clamping down, harder than ever, on inter-punching.

I would teach English there!

Syl

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 508

TO: 304

Dear Syl—

The McHabes and the Finches exist in college too. There is no greener grass. Even in private high schools and so-called "better" public high schools, there are many pressures: parental pressures for Ivy League colleges, School Board pressures, social pressures. The range of dull to bright kids is about the same, and if they drive their own cars to school, they—and their parents —tend to look down on the teacher's lack of money or status.

Besides, if you leave, with whom would I exchange these intraschool communiqués to brighten my Lobby Duty period?

Besides, you're our catalyst, mascot, spokesman and in-fighter.

Besides, you laugh good, like a teacher should.

I'm not saying this to get a higher mark.

Stay!

Bea

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 304

TO: 508

Thank you for the kind words; I need all I can get.

It may not even be my decision to make. After so many demerits, I expect a "U" rating from Clarke.

What did I miss yesterday?

Syl

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 508

TO: 304

Dear Syl—

Don't worry about your end-of-term rating. "Principal's Estimate of Teacher's General Fitness"—for all its verbiage—is concerned with one thing only: "Is she loony?" And—whatever else you are—you're not loony.

You missed the Dec. Faculty Conference, as you well know, at which all vital questions were postponed for lack of time. And at which:

2 new committees were formed.

It was decided to substitute folk songs for hymns in assembly.

McHabe took a stand vs. vandalism, obscenity, lateness, smoking, and the Faculty Show.

I know, because I had to write up the Minutes.

Paul spent the hour writing you verses.

I know, because he sat next to me.

Have you forgiven him?

Bea

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 304

TO: 508

Dear Bea—

There’s nothing to forgive. He himself feels blameless.

He is—as the PRC puts it—"laying hard"; and he keeps dropping bait into my letter-box: