Bel Kaufman - Up The Down Staircase

The gym was garlanded with festoons and balloons and crepe paper ribbons wound around basketball baskets and light fixtures. The parallel bars, the wooden horses, the mats were pushed against the walls; in one corner sat the school orchestra, each musician in a purple blazer with a gold CC on it, and a purple and gold satin CC draped around the drum; in another corner a table had been set up with a bowl of muddy punch, paper cups, and several packages of Lorna Doone cookies.

The other chaperones—Bea, cozy and beaming; Mary, harried by extra duties—were pouring the punch. Henrietta, who, I was told, had never missed a dance, was absent. So was Paul.

But it was the boys and girls who were a revelation to me. The boys especially, for many of the girls come to class with elaborate hairdos and makeup. It was the first time I had seen the boys dressed in suits, jackets, ties; shoes shined; faces stiff with decorum. Each had his name written on an orange paper pumpkin (left over from last year's Hallowe'en Dance) and pinned to his lapel; each said with quiet solemnity:

"Good evening, Miss Barrett."

By far the most polite—and the shyest—was Lou Martin, the cut-up, the class comedian. He had approached to ask me for a dance, his body rigid and tilting slightly sideways with excess of politeness:

"May I please have the pleasure?"

He danced me off, holding me as if I were a soap-bubble, his hand barely touching my shoulder-blade. Perspired, committed, urging me with his face rather than his feet into a respectful two-step, he made gallant conversation:

"Do you plan to indulge in a turkey? . . . It's quite pleasant, the gym, the way they fixed it up. . . . Are you enjoying your teaching here? . . . You dance very excellently."

Ferone wasn't there, nor Eddie Williams, nor Vivian Paine; but Harry A. Kagan, the Students' Choice, was very much there, for the dance was sponsored by the G.O., of which he is president.

"These kind of affairs are rather childish, I think," he confided in me as he propelled me firmly around the gym, "but as long as it's for the G.O."

But when the kids danced with each other, they let go with wild gyrations, fast hops, twirls, pelvic twists, and rubber-kneed acrobatics. Lou Martin and Carole Blanca executed with abandon something known as "The Slop"; and Linda and Bob did an exhibition dance called, I think, "The Frug."

I loved them all last evening; especially Jose Rodriguez, who was not dancing, but who had paid his 75 cents for his ticket and had put on his best suit and had stood alone, waiting for an opportunity to speak to me. As he was about to leave, he took a deep breath, approached me, and said:

"I just want you to know how I feel about English. I think it's the greatest subject I ever had. I'm just — I just want you to know."

There are times when I wouldn't change places with anyone.

I'm exhausted—but have to save my strength for next week: Midterm Exams to take home and mark over the four-day Thanksgiving holiday.

A happy one to you—and many more—from Sylvia Barrett in 304.

Love,

Syl

P.S. Did you know that there are more school children in New York City than soldiers in the entire U.S. Army?

S.

FROM: JAMES J. MCHABE, ADM. ASST.

TO: ALL TEACHERS

RE: MIDTERM EXAMINATIONS

THE FACT THAT THANKSGIVING FALLS WHEN IT DOES THIS YEAR IS CAUSING DIFFICULTIES IN MIDTERM EXAMINATION SCHEDULES. SINCE THERE WILL BE NO FINAL EXAMS, MIDTERM MARKS WILL COUNT AS 2/3 OF THE FINAL MARK. IMPRESS UPON YOUR STUDENTS THE IMPORTANCE OF ACHIEVING AS HIGH A MARK AS POSSIBLE. VIGILANT PROCTORING DURING THE EXAMINATIONS IS ESSENTIAL TO PRECLUDE ANY TEMPTATION TO CHEAT.

PROCTORING INSTRUCTIONS:

1. ARRANGE SEATS IN EXAMINATION ROOM IN ALTERNATE ROWS, ONE SEAT DIRECTLY BEHIND THE OTHER. A SEAT NOT PROPERLY ALIGNED PRESENTS THE POSSIBILITY OF AN UNOBSTRUCTED VIEW OF ANOTHER'S PAPER.

2. STUDENTS ARE TO PLACE ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE ROOM ALL BOOKS, NOTEBOOKS, POCKETBOOKS AND PERSONAL POSSESSIONS.

3. PLACE EXAMINATION PAPERS FACE DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF EACH DESK, AT RIGHT ANGLES TO THE BLANK ANSWER PAPERS, UNTIL THE BELL RINGS, AT WHICH TIME THE STUDENTS ARE TO TURN THEIR PAPERS OVER IN UNISON.

4. DO NOT ALLOW STUDENTS TO LEAVE THEIR SEATS FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. THE PROCTOR IS TO APPROACH THEM AT THEIR SEATS TO DISTRIBUTE PAPERS AND TO ANSWER QUESTIONS.

5. NO QUESTIONS ARE TO BE ANSWERED BY THE PROCTOR.

6. IF A STUDENT DESIRES TO GO TO THE LAVATORY, THE PROCTOR WILL ESCORT THE STUDENT TO THE DOOR OF THE EXAMINATION ROOM AND SUMMON THE HALL PROCTOR, WHO WILL ESCORT THE STUDENT TO THE LAVATORY AND WILL REMAIN IN THE LAVATORY UNTIL THE STUDENT IS FINISHED. MALE TEACHERS WILL ESCORT BOYS, FEMALE TEACHERS WILL ESCORT GIRLS. THEN THE HALL PROCTOR WILL ESCORT THE STUDENT BACK TO THE DOOR OF THE EXAMINATION ROOM AND HAND HIM OVER TO THE ROOM PROCTOR.

7. PROCTORS ARE TO WATCH STUDENTS ACTIVELY THROUGHOUT THE EXAMINATION AND BE ON GUARD FOR THE FOLLOWING:

EYES ROVING

LIPS MOVING

LEFT ARM NOT COVERING PAPER

BENDING DOWN TO TIE SHOE LACE OR PICK UP FALLEN OBJECT

BLOWING NOSE, YAWNING OR SNEEZING TOO LOUDLY

REACHING INTO POCKET

CRUMPLING SCRATCH PAPER INTO A BALL

STRETCHING LEGS TOO FAR OUT

STUDYING NAILS OR INSIDES OF WRISTS

IMPRESS UPON STUDENTS THE IMPORTANCE OF HIGH ETHICAL STANDARDS: WHEN THEY CHEAT THEY CHEAT ONLY THEMSELVES. IF THEY ARE CAUGHT CHEATING, THE PROCTOR MUST BE BLAMED FOR LAX SUPERVISION.

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: Room 304

TO: Room 508

Dear Bea—

Just got Admiral's directive on Midterm proctoring—with emphasis on marks and warnings against cheating. Cause and effect? I asked my kids to write down how they feel about marks and exams; am eager to read what they have to say. As for cheating, it seems to me that—watched by hawk-eyed proctor—even if they had no intention to cheat, they'd be tempted to outwit him. Has anyone tried Honor System? I have a hunch that if they felt they were trusted, they'd rise to that trust.

I have three room proctoring assignments. Thank God I'm not a hall proctor!

What do I do if a kid is not covering with his left arm a paper which is not at right angles to his desk?

Syl.

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 508

TO: 304

Dear Syl,

You either kill the kid or yourself.

Honor System would never work here—too great a premium on the Mighty Mark, which determines whether or not a kid gets into college and causes parental pressures and senior breakdowns. This is true of academic youngsters; non-academic ones cheat pour le sport, as a matter of bravado, ingenuity or class status. Not to try to cheat is square.

Trend is changing, though, from person-to-person cheating to cooperative cheating and teamwork. Some of the excuses they offer, when detected, are: altruism, good sportsmanship, and "I'm not cheating, I'm left-handed!"

The kids put the burden on teacher: "What's the difference to you if you add another 10 points?" "Why did you fail me? I didn't do nothing!" The reply, of course, is: "That's just it." I'd like to know if you get any insights from their own comments on marks. You're a brave girl; we who are about to die salute you!

Bea

As far as marks, you can either better yourself or become lower. Marks can be fair or unfair depending on how the student answers questions from the teacher and whether or not the teacher asks the questions a student can answer.

Harry A. Kagan

(The Students Choice)

The passing mark should be "50" and not "65." Personaly I don't care but I worry about my "parents".