Priscilla Goslin - How to Be a Carioca

So you’re probably wondering, why animals?The Jogo do Bichobegan in the late 1800s as a means of generating funds for a wealthy baron’s private zoo. Whoever visited the zoo was given a piece of paper with the drawing of an animal on it. At the end of the day a flag depicting the winning animal was flown over the zoo, and the winners would take home prize money. Once the zoo managed to collect the funds they needed the game was canceled, although its popularity flourished.

Today, bicheiros[bee ’shay rroosh], or owners of the Jogo do Bicho, are some of the wealthiest and most powerful people in Rio. And even though it is illegal, it still thrives, supposedly collecting funds to support the various samba schools in the yearly Carnival parade. Don’t worry though. That man in front of you in the betting line is probably the local cop placing his bet, too. So the next time you dream of a lion or a dog, run — don’t walk — to the nearest corner, and place your bet.

Loteria Federal:Just sit at a sidewalk cafe, or stop at a street light, and you will be approached by a scruffy looking character selling colorful sheets of tickets with numbers on them. Buy one or several of these tickets, and you will be in the running for big time money, courtesy of the Brazilian government. If a Carioca sees a number that corresponds to his telephone, license plate, birthday, identification, or social security number, he will spend at least a week’s salary on Loteria[loh teh ’rree yah] tickets and call it a good investment.

Loteca:Regardless what those Paulistas, Mineiros, and Gauchosmight say, Rio is the soccer mecca of Brazil. What, with Maracana Stadium and the local Flamengo, Botafogo, Vasco, and Fluminense teams, who could possibly dispute that? By filling out a little card at the local Casa Lotérica(betting house) once a week, the Carioca has the chance to pick the winner (or tie) of fourteen different soccer matches and win a bundle. Also called Certo ou Errado(Right or Wrong), this is one game you can win by losing. Miss guessing the outcome of all the games and you will be in the money. It’s almost as much fun as playing the real thing, and you don’t run the risk of walking around with a cast on your foot for a month.

Mega-Sena, Lotofacil, Quina, Lotomania, and Dupla Sena:These lotteries differ in the amount of numbers you can play on each ticket, the price of a ticket, and how often the numbers are called throughout the week. Considering the chance that he might win zillions, a true Carioca will always find the time, and the cash, for his weekly fézinha[’feh zee nvah] (little faith).

Raspadinhas:The baby of legal gambling, these «little shaved ones» resemble those popular Scratch and Sniffs. Just buy a card and scratch off the coating on the designated areas to see if you are an instant winner. In this case, there isn’t a lot to win, but the gratification is immediate.

Video poker and clandestine casinos:Definitely illegal and clearly frowned upon by the authorities, no Carioca in his right mind would be caught involved in either one of these forms of gambling unless, of course, he is a bicheiro, or the offspring of one.

Although waiting in line is a national pastime, the Carioca considers it a happening and affectionately refers to line waiting as a programa de indio— meaning what Indians do for entertainment. Seeing a line forming anywhere, the Carioca will figure there must be something interesting at the end of it and will simply take his place in line. In fact, recent studies have shown that Cariocas spend more than thirty percent of their time patiently waiting in lines. Really…

In the event you find yourself face to face with a Carioca line, do as the Carioca does. Resort to any one of the following common jeitinhos, and it won’t be that bad after all:

Send your office boy to wait for you;

Pay a moleque de rua(street urchin) to wait for you;

Find someone you know near the front of the line to get for you whatever it is everyone is waiting for;

Tip someone near the front of the line to get for you whatever it is everyone is waiting for;

Cut in line and ignore the protests (can be very dangerous);

Get in line, then ask the person in front of you to save your place. Go for a few choppsor cafezinhosat the boteco, and then return to your place in line.

The beauty of the Carioca is his ability to make the best of any situation, and line waiting is one of them. Finding himself in front of a forty to fifty minute line, the Carioca’s first reaction might be to mutter, «Tôfu»[toh ’foo] («I’m screwed»). But once in line he’ll have a grand time making new friends and comparing opinions on current events or the latest episode of the novela das oitowith those sharing the same line.

Wait in a few of the following Carioca favorite lines, and soon you, too, will be feeling like a real Carioca:

• Bank line between the fifth and the tenth of each month

• Cash register lines at any Barra supermarket on Saturdays

• Carnival parade ticket line

• Rest room line at the Carnival parade

• Visa line at the American Consulate

• Movie line on opening day of a major feature

• Movie line on the following week for the same movie

• Badaladarestaurant line on a Saturday night

• Badaladanight club line on a Saturday night

• Post office line at any time of the day

• Motel car lines on a Friday night

• Duty Free Shop line at Tom Jobim International airport

• Immigration line at Tom Jobim International airport

• Customs line at Tom Jobim International airport

• Taxi line at Santos Dumont airport at seven p.m.

• Maracanã Stadium ticket line for a final championship game

• Beverage bar line at half time during a Fla-Flu game at Maracanã Stadium

• Gas station car lines right before any fuel price increase

• Bus line at the downtown garage building at six p.m.

• Garage parking line at the São Conrado Fashion Mall on Saturday nights

• Casa lotéricaline when the Mega-Sena has accumulated

• Emergency line at any of the local municipal hospitals

• Line to vote on election day

• Line to receive INSS (social security) compensations

Every Carioca has a favorite futebol[foo tchee ’bol] (soccer) team. If you are a real Carioca, your team will be either Flamengo, Vasco, Botafogo, or Fluminense, and depending which one you choose, you will eternally be referred to as a Flamenguista, Vascaino, Botafoguense, or Tricolor[trree coh ’loh]. You will cherish your team second only to your mother and be more faithful to your team than to your own spouse. Consequently, once you have chosen your team you will despise the other three for as long as you live. If a team other than yours is playing a team from São Paulo, for example, in the finals of a national championship, you will simply ignore the entire event. Under all circumstances, a Carioca will only acknowledge the existence of his own team.